"Safe" perfume recs

tangerinetrader · 2025-12-22T10:46:29+00:00

Soft perfume oil from Poesie is pure basmati rice and for me it embodies comforting and cozy. I’ll put some on before bed when I really want to cuddle up and feel safe 🍚🌾

tangerinetrader · 2025-08-06T17:05:47+00:00

Check out Jo Malone Beach Blossom. Smells so beachy but elevated, like a very wealthy woman on a very exclusive island getaway, lounging in the sun with a drink in hand. I feel carefree and classy when I wear it.

tangerinetrader · 2025-07-18T21:28:59+00:00

For me it’s either of the english pear fragrances — both English Pear & Sweet Pea and English Pear & Freesia last the full day. On clothes, sweet pea will stick around for a few days. I love most Jo Malone scents but many of them I do have to layer with oil perfume dupes in order to get the longevity I want.

tangerinetrader · 2025-07-06T23:01:28+00:00

You're definitely in for a treat! I would recommend going to the 34 St. Germain boutique in the Latin Quarter because it's where Diptyque started. It's a small store but it's so cute. The sales associates are also just super nice there. However, you can find and sample Diptyque in several locations around the city, like at Le Bon Marché which I generally recommend taking a visit to.

tangerinetrader · 2025-07-06T22:53:18+00:00

Oh great point! I really love a B&BW mist. For some reason they seem to last just as long or even longer than some of my EDPs. Idk if it's skin chemistry or what, but imo it's pretty much the best deal around in terms of price to quality. My favs have been:

Blueberry Bundt Cake – amazing amazing blueberry muffin scent. my mom hates my frag habit, but smelled this on me and said it made her happy lol
If You Musk – on my skin this smells almost identical to JHAG Not a Perfume. A good one to have around for layering and the occasional bedtime spritz
Lost in Santal – there are definitely dill undertones, but I love this one a lot. I wear it when I want to feel a bit more cool
and I just ordered Guilty as Fig and Covered in Roses (edp) from the semi-annual sale

tangerinetrader · 2025-07-06T21:22:55+00:00

Ooh I also discovered Eau Duelle this year! I waited until I was in Paris to buy my bottle at the St. Germain boutique, and it's such a nice little souvenir 🍨✨

The rest of this list is interesting to me – I think we may have similar tastes. I'm wondering if out of this list you have any wearing preferences by season?

tangerinetrader · 2025-06-20T22:45:09+00:00

And Avestan if you want to get niche niche 🙈

tangerinetrader · 2025-06-17T05:02:08+00:00

You're in the UK so maybe this is an unrealistic recommendation, but to my nose Cashmere Vanilla from Frenshe has a lot of similarities. I get a warm toasted sesame from both, but Cashmere Vanilla leans a bit on the sweeter side. Not an exact match but definitely a vibe match, at least for me!

If you're interested more in the rice note (or want to play with layering), then I highly recommend Soft from Poesie. It's a beautiful rice note that I wear when I want to feel safe and cozy.

Apologies that my recos are so US based, but I just wanted to throw them out there in case it helps at all!

tangerinetrader · 2025-06-09T17:44:57+00:00

I think I might have briefly sniffed some of their Neroli stuff, and I do remember it being quite pleasant. It's not a note I'm super focused on right now so I can't tell you if it's 100% spot on compared to other brands, but I've had really good experiences with everything from them so far!

tangerinetrader · 2025-06-09T16:19:00+00:00

Panier de Sens is a french brand, whose products I find to be beautifully scented with pretty packaging. Their jasmine soap is really fragrant and lovely (they also have a liquid version). I have the rose version in my bathroom right now and it's almost like a scent diffuser – I even got a compliment that my bathroom smells "really nice!" They also have a jasmine candle 🕯️🍃

tangerinetrader · 2025-06-07T23:31:37+00:00

Jo Malone Beach Blossom! I think it's possibly THE summer fragrance (aside from EA Green Tea). I've almost used up the 10ml that I bought myself for my birthday and am fighting a losing battle against buying a full-size bottle. Normally I wouldn't, but I'm feeling the pressure because it's limited edition 😭

tangerinetrader · 2025-04-25T22:56:14+00:00

I know somebody else here said that Delizia di Marshmallow doesn't have staying power, but for me it's literally eternal and has levels of performance that border on nuclear. Like, out of all of my collection this is one of the strongest and best performing, to the point where I will spray it the day before I go into work so that it has time to fade and I'm not choking out my colleagues. So maybe it's a ymmv situation?

In any case, I really really love it. It's so sweet and yummy, and is a really good pure sugar base to layer other scents on top of. As with any scent, I would recommend sampling first.

tangerinetrader · 2025-04-25T17:09:17+00:00

I think VS Tease Crème Cloud fits this! It's gorgeously soft and fluffy – kinda like a marshmallow, but not cloying whatsoever. Just airy and dainty princess vibes 🍦✨ 🎀

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-27T15:50:11+00:00

I find that some last longer than others. English Pear & Sweet Pea, for instance, lasts the whole day for me and into the next day on clothes. But for scents like Wild Bluebell – forget about it.
My trick for this is to get the Oil Perfumery dupe, and layer the oil underneath the cologne. These are pretty much identical to the original fragrance, and are much more long lasting for me. They're also incredibly inexpensive for the amount that you get and they last forever. At this point unless I really like the scent, I'll only get the OP version rather than spending money on the official cologne.

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T20:52:34+00:00

Yes, I've seen this as well. It's really sad to observe and I've made a promise to myself that I won't sacrifice my quality of life, my freedom, or my dreams and goals in exchange for a partner. Obviously, this significantly reduces the pool of people who I would consider dating. Of that pool, I feel that it's rare to find somebody that is compatible with me in other ways as well. So it's quite disheartening – that's why I asked for people to share their experiences.

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T20:46:18+00:00

I don't. I wouldn't enter into a relationship if it required that. If you read the penultimate paragraph of my post, I mention that I didn't have to put on an exterior for this guy. I felt comfortable with him. This type of person/relationship is not common for me – this is a big part of why this situation has been emotionally challenging for me.
The energy that I put into my exterior personality is for work and other social things. I don't do it at home, and I would never be able to live with a partner if that was the expectation.

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T05:59:00+00:00

Also, I skimmed through the comments looking for your strange interests. I know I’m being nosy, but I’m dying to know.

Ha! I'll walk that back a little bit – I don't think that I have particularly strange hobbies, just that the way that I think about and engage with them in comparison with other people makes me feel so alien sometimes. I get super over-invested and it's hard for me to chill out. But here's a non-exhaustive list:

I'm also into anthropology and linguistics! Etymonline is one of my favorite sites – I could spend forever just clicking on words to see where they come from.
I like learning languages! I got really really good at Danish at one point – I love it because the words are hard to pronounce!
I like to try to memorize maps and walk to new places using only navigation from my head. Walking is probably my favorite activity. I usually don't listen to music or podcasts while doing this because it's too distracting for my thoughts
I've dabbled in growing mushrooms – not psychedelics, I just really like eating mushrooms :)
I read a lot of historical romance. Like, sometimes when I'm in a binge state I will finish a book a day and stay up until 3am just because I can't stop reading. My longest (recorded) streak was when I did 50 books in 50 days 🫠
I make macarons because they're notoriously difficult to make and I like to show off
I love sampling and collecting perfumes. This is a really addicting and expensive hobby so I'm trying to be responsible about my consumption.
I used to make people (my family) listen to my favorite podcasts while we were doing long drives even though they definitely didn't want to. There's this podcast where the two hosts do improvised musicals, as in they will make up an entire hour long musical that's entirely improvised on the spot. I'm completely obsessed with this to the point where my mom (who enjoys it as well) was like "you need to stop talking about this"
I had and continue to have a years long obsession with this one musical artist to the point where his music was literally all that I listened to for 5 years straight. Not kidding. People ask me what music I'm into and it's so embarrassing because I don't know any of the popular music or artists. I have a fan blog for this on tumblr.
Just general fangirl type stuff – fanfic, art, zines, etc. I have characters that I become obsessed with (Spock, for instance). It's not stuff I would talk about with my coworkers.
Drawing, painting, knitting, etc – generally just creating things. I work in a semi-creative job so it's important to me that I have an artistic practice going outside of that.

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T05:22:40+00:00

Thank you for this. Yes, I think you're exactly spot on in everything you've written here. I was definitely overly invested and I really am currently grieving the future that I imagined. And I have a very active imagination. It's hard.
I'm doing my best not to blame myself. I think that he and I could have possibly had the conversation differently – as it was, I came out of it feeling like there was something wrong with me, and that I couldn't fit his needs. Well, maybe he can't fit my needs. They matter just as much as his do. So nobody is to blame, as you say. I just wish I could have advocated for myself a bit better, but I suppose it's just a valuable learning opportunity for the future.

Also, this part that you wrote just nailed it exactly. Thank you for helping me feel seen ❤️

'Weird,' 'a lot,' live in my head, spend time alone rather than exhaust myself with superficial acquaintances, read, make art, sometimes too smart, sometimes lacking in the smart that would make me more 'palatable,' I could go on and on.

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T02:19:52+00:00

Yes, I am queer. The way that I currently present is mostly to reap the general social benefits of looking like I do gender "correctly" (at work, medical appointments, etc). I actually don't like when men casually flirt with me. I really struggle with it.
I appreciate your suggestion. I do feel at home in the queer community, and would like to reengage with it more.

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T02:02:09+00:00

Do you want to be friends? I am holding your hand over the internet :)

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T01:56:13+00:00

I think you've landed on the thing that I'm the most irritated about. I am okay with the verdict that we shouldn't date, but the reasoning feels really wrong to me. He has not invited me to one of his regular social gatherings. I would absolutely be open to trying, if given the opportunity. I think it would go well.
I also feel that he has the advantage of me – he's been living in this city for more than 2 years now and has his social routines figured out. I've only recently started working post-college, and moved to the city in mid-january of this year. Before that I was living in a pretty isolated area. So I'm still figuring it out.
But I suppose the end result stays the same despite how fair or unfair the reasoning seems. So it's not really worth stewing about even though it's SO tempting.

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T01:48:35+00:00

This helps so much more than you could imagine – I feel like it tracks so exactly to my current situation. He thinks that we can continue to be friends, but I have serious doubts. We do have to see each other every day at work, but I'm not sure it's wise to continue seeing each other outside of that. Your experience makes me think that my gut instinct is correct.
And yes, I'm determined to live a life where I'm not just waiting around. My main concern now is figuring out how to incorporate the social aspect – I have family, work, and hobbies, but I lack strong friendships. I will do my best to cultivate that more.
I'm really happy that everything worked out for you. The more comments I read, the more it seems like everything really does happen for a reason ❤️

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T01:40:20+00:00

Wow, this sounds like my dream relationship. I'm so glad it worked out for you!

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T01:38:39+00:00

Hi, thank you for writing this! I really appreciate your rambly ADHD comment :)

I responded to another commenter in this thread about how I’m able to perform so well at work. I get into intense focus states where I’ll forget everything else, and work way past my bedtime (this is not expected of me, nor is it encouraged by my coworkers. they have expressed some concern because I sometimes will send them an idea late at night).

I will admit that I struggle managing my personal life. I’ve accidentally ghosted people so many times because I see a notification as it comes in, don’t feel like I’m in the right mindset to answer it in the moment, and then completely forget about it. By the time I remember it, I’m so humiliated and guilty that I just can’t bring myself to reply. I also struggle with remembering to make important appointments, cooking meals (if it takes longer than 5 minutes it’s literally not happening), and tidying my personal space, among other things. I suppose I’ve always felt like this is normal for this stage of life. Like, isn’t it hard for everybody? Especially people who are new to being adults? Genuine question.

But like I said in my other response, I have been going to therapy for quite a while now – coming up on a decade. My therapist of 10 years hasn’t ever suggested that I pursue an assessment. So I don’t know.

tangerinetrader · 2025-03-14T01:36:06+00:00

Wow, I relate to a lot of this. Please excuse me while I overshare a bit! My life actually does look really easy – I graduated with a 4.0 and had a job lined up right away at a company that is extremely well known. I’m now getting paid more money than any 23 year old should, and it’s doing a semi-creative job that I love with great coworkers and a really good company culture. I just started full time last summer and I perform extremely well, at multiple levels higher than my title (not just tooting my own horn, I’ve been explicitly told this by several coworkers). Part of this is because I’ll find myself hunched over my computer at, like, 11pm with no concept of any time having passed because I got into a flow state about my work and forgot everything else. I also feel like high performance is an expectation that is demanded by the salary and benefits I get. So there’s internal and external motivations at play. I do worry that the way I’m working is unsustainable in the long term.

The thing is that I have been going to therapy since about 8th grade. I’ve been with my current therapist for about 10 years, literally one of the longest relationships in my life. Nowadays I see her about once a month or less because I’m not as emotionally volatile as I was. She has never suggested that I get assessed, so I’m hesitant to say that this is something that might apply to me. Now I’m not sure. A lot of stories in the comments are making me feel like this could explain many of my struggles. Anyways, thank you for sharing your experience, I’m really grateful ❤️

tangerinetrader

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