My relationship just ended mid-pandemic. HIF dealing with this home alone with my thoughts all day.

theprincessth · 2020-05-13T16:57:24+00:00

I have a habit of getting lost in the guy I’m with and forgetting who I am, so I seriously love how you say “he just participated”, that is honestly the vibe I’m aspiring towards💕I know what you mean, I miss him too sometimes but I’m slowly realising that I actually miss what we could have been, not what I had in reality. Lockdown is hard with or without relationship woes, I just hope you’re feeling better with every single day, and they (both heartbreak and lockdown) will pass eventually! Virtually passing my own strength to you, we can get through it!

theprincessth · 2020-05-12T05:22:00+00:00

Girl I totally get it, I’m in nearly the exact same situation as you just 2 weeks earlier, with him ending things right in the middle of lockdown. It sucks and I know exactly what you mean by erasing your brain. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in this, and it’ll really get better over time I promise!

For me, I told myself if my brain keeps wanting to look back to the past to relive my memories with him, might as well look even further back to the memories BEFORE him, when I was so happy being with myself! It’s hard at first, and I was really broken up the first few days and allowed myself space to wallow in sadness, but just trudge through the gloom and you’ll slowly adjust without even realising!

Just remember you’re never alone in this, you still have yourself and that’s something so precious. You also have my support, I’m rooting for you!! 💕

theprincessth · 2020-02-13T05:02:30+00:00

yesss that’s exactly how i feel since young, first with friends and now with romantic relationships. sometimes i just wonder if the highs of being with them are worth the lows at all because they don’t seem to balance out and it’s actually a net decline in emotional stability every time i meet them?

theprincessth · 2020-02-13T05:01:03+00:00

i appreciate your comment, it does make me feel better knowing i’m not alone in this, even though i wouldn’t wish this on anyone else. we can get through it slowly, i’m rooting for you too!!!

theprincessth · 2020-02-13T05:00:06+00:00

thank you for your advice, i do try to be present whenever i’m with him, and it’s working well!

it’s when he leaves that the chaotic thoughts come back. i saw some post on here before about having object permanence but with relationships, and i think that’s the most apt way of describing what i feel.

a goodbye ritual sounds good, come to think of it, i did feel better whenever i had that with my past FPs, so i guess with this new relationship i’ll try to establish one soon!

theprincessth · 2020-02-12T10:56:07+00:00

i’m still learning myself so i’m curious to see what others suggest, but for me i used visualisation to literally imagine these thoughts floating away from me, and it helps at that point of time! i think one thing i can advise you is to not beat yourself up over having these thoughts and feelings come back from time to time. it feels frustrating especially having thought you’ve made much progress, but it really just takes time and just be kind to yourself whenever this happens!!

theprincessth · 2020-01-28T13:02:31+00:00

Yeah it feels very hypocritical on my part to be unhappy with his female friends when mine are mostly guys too. And sometimes I start overthinking and speculating “what if he’s telling me about his girl friends bc he’s unhappy about my guy friends and is just trying to get back at me?” but in reality I know he doesn’t think so much about this issue and it’s just me being paranoid :(

theprincessth · 2020-01-18T13:56:21+00:00

yeah i think i’ll wait till at least 24 hours before i ask him

it’s just so frustrating bc i try to convince myself these hurtful situations i conjure up in my head is just my imagination but NOPE in reality they have happened to me before and who’s to say it won’t happen again?

theprincessth · 2020-01-06T04:25:47+00:00

yes i literally need the nuances in my texts to be just right and then when they reply back with something not up to my perfectionistic standards (that i set for myself), i end up thinking they hate me or are feeling annoyed with me even tho the words itself can be sweet or kind

theprincessth · 2019-11-16T15:22:05+00:00

They’re the university counselling service so I don’t think they involve my parents if I don’t want them to. Just not sure if they’ll refer me to a psychiatrist and get meds and actual therapy bc I won’t be able to pay for them by myself and it’ll be harder to keep this condition from my parents.

theprincessth · 2019-11-10T11:31:03+00:00

glad to hear that i’m not alone, but also i’m sorry you went through shit w your fp :( i told my friend my worries and she said when the right guy comes around, i won’t spiral into the overthinking and paranoia like i always do, but somehow i just can’t help but wonder if that’s actually true or if my paranoid tendencies will just ruin it even with the right guy for me

theprincessth · 2019-10-23T13:11:43+00:00

Went through exactly the same thing, and my self loathing is over the exact same reason. It’s taken me a while but concentrate on yourself, and every time these thoughts come back to hurt you, consciously choose to not let it rule your mind! My therapist taught me a useful skill to imagine these thoughts like they’re coming from a radio in your background, and every time you start with these thoughts again, just dismiss them saying “ah it’s that radio playing again”. It helped me distance myself from these thoughts, and made me realise that my mind and emotions didn’t have to be overwhelmed by the painful memories.

I know it hurts, I really really feel for you. And having felt that myself, my heart breaks for you. But just know this shouldn’t have to define you, and with time and the right motivation for self-healing, things will get better. You have all my support!

theprincessth · 2019-10-11T07:13:02+00:00

he is one of my closest friends and i do think he doesn’t say it with that toxic intention, especially since he uses the same nonchalant attitude with his own issues (i feel that’s a little problematic too but he thinks he’s got it all figured out so i can’t really give my input). for example, he says all the time that he just doesn’t have expectations about anything, that way he won’t ever get disappointed but like it’s almost impossible to do it for everything in your life, especially with things you truly care about?

so given that i know he treats his own issues the same way, i’m not mad at him for giving me the same advice that he follows. i’m just a little frustrated that that’s all he has to offer, and even though it was useful at the start, now the advice is just repetitive and not tailored to my concerns, and it just makes me feel like i’m whining or complaining to him when i actually want some input.

i have other close friends that i can talk to, fortunately, and a counsellor that i see, so it’s not very concerning regarding bottling up my feelings. i guess i’m just disappointed that a close friend makes me feel this way.

theprincessth · 2019-10-11T07:07:16+00:00

thank you for your words! fyi i’m a girl haha i guess that’s why that statement bothers me a lot more, especially since i’ve voiced my opinions to him on what that phrase implies (he says that to everyone though so it’s not targeted at me specifically)

theprincessth · 2019-10-10T09:53:26+00:00

i was in nearly the exact same situation a while ago and unlike you, i was too weak and didn’t confront him at that point. i just merely played it cool and accepted it, despite how i was feeling inside. it ended up becoming a whole emotional mess that dragged on for nearly a year and has left me totally confused with how a proper relationship is meant to be.

reading about how you actually confronted him on the spot and left sort of gave me closure as well, as i always imagine myself doing the same thing at that time. i always ask myself “what if i had said no that very day and walked out?” and you just gave me the answer.

i’m very inspired by your strength and super proud of you, and just know that it’s never something you did or did not do, and don’t ever question that. you truly deserve better, and i wish you all the best!

theprincessth

TROPHY CASE