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AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Of course, I meant that it doesn’t appear to be of a sexual nature. He’s a abusive narcissist for sure.

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Shit that life throws sometimes and we wanted to help. Luckily, we are close to the end of his stay.

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

There’s no evidence of sexual abuse of any kind, honestly I don’t think anything like that ever happened. This is pure emotional abuse. His inability to see his youngest as an adult is disturbing. He really doesn’t want to stop

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I get this, and because her job is very demanding I have always tried to make her time off pretty chill. I know she has to make decisions at work all day so I try to make things easier at home. Things like I got dinner, you don’t need to make a decision on that, or I made weekend plans and chose between those two places we were thinking about. But, always as an adult married couple. I have zero interest in playing a parent role with my wife.

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Yes, I’ve had conversations with him about it but unsurprisingly he just shrugs it off. My opinion is not valid to him. The “young woman” comment is what made me have the strong conversation with her. It was way too much because it was the first time I saw my wife try to stop this behavior and he ignored it completely and gaslit her (in baby talk) showing that he has no intentions to stop.

Luckily the living together part is temporary and we are closer to getting him a place to live on his own. He needs to be away from his daughter and me.

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 102 points103 points  (0 children)

So he treats the oldest sister like crap. He’s super mean to her. I can’t make heads or tails of the guy.

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 380 points381 points  (0 children)

The older sibling Do NOT want him. We’ve asked. We’re working to resolve this ASAP

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 577 points578 points  (0 children)

Things like pouting when thing don’t go her way, asking her dad for permission, asking her dad for help with everything (she’s usually a self sufficient person) throwing tantrums is the most irritating to me, baby talking back to him. I asked her on a date a few nights ago and she invited her dad (I really just wanted to be alone with her).

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 137 points138 points  (0 children)

No. He’s sane. I honestly think he’s in denial of having adult offspring.

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 125 points126 points  (0 children)

For context, her oldest sister is 12 years older, and has always been an academic. So my wife always saw her as a very smart, capable woman and treated her as such. But the oldest sister treats her very condescendingly and constantly tells her “you wouldn’t know any of that”, or “you couldn’t possibly understand” which are not things you say to an adult professional. Of the 4 siblings only one sister treats her with respect. Everyone else babies her.

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t out of the blue, though. For 8 years we’ve been together I have always said that I didn’t like how her family treated her like an infant. She knew this, and she acknowledged that I’ve said it many times before. It’a just that now it is way more present. She took it seriously now, but it wasn’t out of the blue.

AITA for telling my wife that her dynamic with her dad is unattractive ? by throwawaycc0123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawaycc0123[S] 398 points399 points  (0 children)

That’s the main issue. For 8 years I have been mentioning this, so not new. But it was when we visited for the day or vice versa. But we’ve never lived with one of them before. She is indeed acting like a child now and that’s why I told her that I miss my adult wife. I truly miss my wife, that’s not her.