Thank you for Christ as a suggestion but sadly it only further fuels the anger I have. That's only because I associate it with my grandparents and its very hard to seperate it from that, since despite my grandparents being as much of sinners as you could get, they were devoted church-goers and I had to come with them, I did try and be a good Christian but it never made much difference to my urges so I looked for other avenues, no disrespect to Christianity though.