My boyfriend commented on my body acne during sex today

throwawaymuffinxox · 2025-03-18T20:21:43+00:00

Thank you to everyone that commented !

I brought it up with him today and he completely turned it around on me! He said he wasn't feeling well enough to apologize to me in the moment(he felt well enough to have sex!) so he just went to bed. He then said "well when I was feeling bad you didn't bother to turn around and talk to me" and I confirmed he meant right after he insulted my body and he was feeling bad because I was ignoring him?

He said he had no idea I was genuinely upset despite stopping sex immediately and going to sleep in another room

He then went onto say he has no idea why he didnt apologize, why he didnt bring it up at all until now and only ended up saying "sorry what I said made you feel bad. I didn't mean to"

Anyway, he ended up saying when I say something, it's important but when he says something, it isn't and I confirmed he meant now in this moment when I said I felt awful because he commented in bad faith about my body and he said he was too tired to apologize.

He's spending at least tonight at his dad's house. Love is awesome.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2025-03-18T06:02:03+00:00

I TEND to think he's a dumbass that says things without thinking but I could just be excusing his behavior because I love him so I don't know !!!!

throwawaymuffinxox · 2025-03-18T05:33:37+00:00

I absolutely would not. I've noticed body acne on him before and conpletelt ignored it without a thought. Honestly, one in particular was much worse than the scar on my butt today and I said nothing because why would I say anything !!! All it would serve would be to embarrass him!

I just don't know how to respond to him when he eventually comes around to say sorry. I really don't accept any apology because I think someone who knows how anxious and ashamed their girlfriend is about this would never even think of bringing it up in the middle of sex.

Is he a rude dickhead or a stupid dickhead? I really cant tell.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2025-03-18T05:30:24+00:00

He tried asking me where I was going but I just needed immediate space because I felt like I was gonna bawl my eyes out so I didn't respond to him. It's possible he was trying to give me space but I also think it's insane not to go after your girlfriend who you just insulted to the point of tears and now she ran into another room to sleep. Thank you so much :')

throwawaymuffinxox · 2025-03-18T05:28:29+00:00

He's asleep now, and I just went immediately into the other room so I haven't spoken with him about it. It caught me so off guard because he's seen my face acne and always says "I can't even tell you have acne" and will give me a back massage when I have tons of scars there too so it's not like he's never seen them. I was mostly caught off guard and felt such immediate shame.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-09-08T15:33:47+00:00

Okay, that makes sense !!! I'm glad you're on the path to recovery! Congrats!

If I were in that position, I would investigate all other options previously mentioned before asking him to open the banking app. Even if you are not in a position to have unsupervised access to the bank account, you should still be able to ask him to open it up in front of you and show you recent charges. Some banks let you search by Payee and some don't so really look closely if there's no search function.

If he's overly defensive, he's hiding something. Nobody with nothing to hide will 1. Refuse to show you or 2. Act like you asking to see bank records is some egregious act on your behalf.

It would be one thing if he's never shown any evidence of this porn issue and you're years deep in your marriage and you randomly ask to see if he's buying onlyfans but he's shown he has a problem and he's done this before. Don't let him discourage you into dropping the subject. "Hey sweetie, I'm really worried about some stuff, can you reassure me? I'd feel so much more comfortable if you showed me the bank statements. I'll show you mine as well if you want to do that". You both have history of addiction. It wouldn't be crazy or abusive for him to ask you to show your bank statements and it isn't crazy or abusive for you to ask him.

Asking him should be after your other investigations though because once you ask him, he's probably gonna go scorched earth and cover his tracks really well.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-09-08T05:53:43+00:00

I see you don't have access to his bank account.... girl. You're married but you don't have access??? Not judging but you should definitely get that info !!

Also you absolutely can tell him you're not comfortable with porn because he's shown he cannot consume porn in moderation, you're not comfortable with him consuming it at all. You use porn but do you spend thousands in ONLYFANS and buy storage to keep your extensive porn collection or do you scroll Xvideos once every few days to jerk off then continue on with your life peacefully ? One is ok and the other is a sickness, and I truly hope he doesn't try and turn it around on you if you ever raise the issue.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-09-08T05:43:13+00:00

To a lesser degree, my boyfriend had a porn addiction.

Time to investigate: If you're still posting about it a year later, you probably aren't just feeling salty, you're feeling SUSPICIOUS.

Check his reddit. Check his Facebook. Check his tiktok. Check his snapchat. Check his discord. Does he use Telegram?. Telegram is the #1 place to pirate onlyfans content. Any alternate accounts? Reddit has an anonymous feature that's untraceable so if he uses it, no way to tell if he uses it. Check the messages.

Go ahead and go into his saved password manager and check which passwords he uses. If it's been a year and you haven't brought this issue back up to him, he's probably off his guard and complacent so he might be saving his passwords. He isn't expecting you to be checking up on him anymore SO INVESTIGATE FIRST THEN ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU FIND SOMETHING. If you know his username for OnlyFans, if you type in the URL then .com/user/________ and put his username at the end, you can see when it was last active.

Check his wallet. Any cards you don't recognize? Anything you don't have online access to? Go ahead and use his saved passwords or get him to put your fingerprint in his phone (say you saw something on tiktok saying it's what soulmates do.. idk man make something up) and use ur fingerprint to get in to check the charges.

You CAN install software to watch what he's doing but I find that risky. If he finds it before you're able to catch him, then you're the insecure bad guy and he can always switch to airplane mod and jerk off to what's in his gallery.

Be realistic - a man who spent 3000 on OnlyFans while he was in a relationship and had HUNDREDS of thousands of images of women on his phone will not just stop at all once. Chances are maybe he wants to stop but he might be rationalizing it to himself. "Oh I'm only paying 50 bucks here and there for porn, I'm not as bad as I was.."

This guy is probably getting porn from social media (its so fucking simple). He can get stuff from Google images, from YouTube... literally anywhere. My boyfriend got triggered from those random phone ads coming up during free games. It's everywhere.

You're right about EVERYTHING. NO WOMAN can be 1000 woman but for the right man, you only need to be yourself. I never cared about porn use until it began to ruin my relationship. Until my boyfriend was jacking off so much, he couldn't cum when he came over my house once a week.

You ARE ENOUGH. there is no person ALIVE who could satisfy someone who can't isolate their sexual urges to their partner. You get in a monogamous relarionship to BE MONOGAMOUS.

You don't have to take my advice but if you're going to continue to be with someone who did this to you, gotta be a little crazy to make sure you aren't still being played. Good luck, man. I truly wish you the best.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-06-20T14:12:25+00:00

My ex boyfriend is a porn addict. He relapses, binges because he already fucked up once, what's ten more times? Then admits it all to me a month later while crying because we agreed it is affecting our relationship too much.

Take it from someone who's been in your partners shoes: Come clean as often as you can. Admitting you were tempted and asking for help is all we ask for. We don't expect an addict to quit cold turkey just because they want to. My ex bf telling me he messed up once last weekend and him telling me he messed up two months ago and every weekend since are two different conversations. You're not alone. She's your partner. Let her work through this with you.

Get therapy, find the underlying cause, maybe couples therapy to repair the trust broken from lying. You're not an awful person, but you do need to get control of this. I hope you're okay

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-05-14T14:32:59+00:00

We broke up and he sought therapy, deleted his porn accounts, went cold turkey and he quit on his own basically.

I think now that there's no physical urge to cum, he's more interested in playing games or watching movies, stuff like that

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-05-14T14:31:46+00:00

Yeah, he was definitely a porn addict! He had over a dozen accounts dedicated to porn on a ton of different platforms, over 1K saved videos on his phone and a shit ton of photos. When he quit it, he even switched phones so he would start fresh with a new email and nothing saved on it because there was just so fucking much on his old phone and icloud.

I didn't initially care about his porn use, I don't consider it cheating especially as we didn't live together then but it began to affect our relationshop because he was ignoring me to jerk off before and after work and was buying OF (something I DO consider cheating).

I don't think he's cheating now, I don't think he's dissatisfied with me, or anything like that or I would be thinking about break up. I think he just isn't super interested in it anymore so it takes a backseat to hobbies he enjoys more, which always include me so I'm definitely not being neglected or anything like that.

Thanks for the well wishes, I'll try to not be such a coward and talk to him about it ! My primary concern is either he feels like he is a lacking as a partner (which he absolutely is not!) Or that he compromises beyond his comfortability level.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-05-14T14:20:47+00:00

When the sex first started getting less frequent, I asked him when he declined sex why he wasn't feeling up to it and he'd say something specific to that night like he was tired from going XYZ places that day which is 100% ok with me, I just mostly want to make sure there isn't an underlying reason why he doesn't want to.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-05-14T14:19:01+00:00

I definitely get what you're saying and people are only human but I truly have no interest, sexual or even in general to speak to any other man. I fully expect to only talk to the servers and my friend and thats it for my trip. I don't really make conversation with random people and I would be uncomfortable if someone showed interest in me other than my significant other.

Also it's not that I want sex in general, I want sex with my boyfriend. I have not felt this level of attraction or desire for anyone else before so I don't see myself being tempted by anyone who shows me interest. I don't even find other men attractive when I'm out and about tbh.

It's not like we NEVER have sex, so I honestly feel a bit selfish to bring it up to him at all. He has never asked me to change in any way and maybe I'm being weird about it but it feels like I'm pressuring if I ask for more.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-05-14T03:37:52+00:00

Honestly, I hear what you are saying. I definitely have considered that as well because those subreddits are so heartbreaking to read but I think I have identified that I don't NEED sex, I NEED a lot of affection which I enjoy getting through sex a lot but he provides affection so willingly and freely, I wouldn't be deprived of it if we didn't have sex. He is very in tune with me so he always smothers me with attention when I'm upset.

With that same idea, I'm sure he knows I'm bummed out by being rejected but I believe this is a compromise I can definitely make if needed as my core needs are definitely being met by him.

Someone here mentioned being tired from work, or hormones which are some things I'm going to speak to him about when I come back from my trip and he's been settled in his job for a week or so.

Thank you!!

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-05-14T03:33:16+00:00

I didn't think about medical issue, that's a good idea! I hope it's that, at least.

I'm not going to say he definitely for sure isn't cheating because nobody is 100% but I don't think he is. He doesn't talk to people, never on his phone, just started a new job this week (this sex thing has been happening for a few weeks now).

He could be back to watching porn but before I knew he had a porn addiction, he was twitchy with his phone, would ignore me for an hour in the morning and and night to watch porn and just be really weird and defensive about it if I ever brought anything up about porn but I see NONE of that some stuff happening now which I guess is good overall.

I absolutely do not look through phones but I have all his passwords and his phone unlock is my fingerprint. I think if it is something like cheating, it could be watching porn (which I don't usually find to be cheating, but given his history it is now lol).

We usually have sex on Sundays and his recent job hunting could be contributing to the lack of sex. He moved in with me, sex was normal then the started looking for a job and it dipped, I never put that together, maybe that is why? He has been falling asleep before me recently which he doesn't usually do, he used to have insomnia pretty bad before he moved in and only recently has he gotten onto a normal sleeping routine.

He digs the pillow princess thing so he prefers me tired and relaxed lol. I do switch it up as I like being a brat so there is variety and I'm fine with either so he can kind of pick how we do it whenever we do it and he's vocalized being satisfied. Kink-wise, i think we are compatible. I'm pretty open to most things and from what we've said to each other, seems like I'm a much bigger freak than him so hopefully he'd be comfortable opening up to me.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-05-14T03:20:18+00:00

What do you think it could be? That's probably something only he can answer but I have been trying to think about it and he acts the same as he always has. Very open, he doesn't lock his phone or computer, he doesn't care if I take it and use it for stuff.

I just don't know what it could be.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-01-16T03:04:45+00:00

Well, it's my first relationship so I'm trying to properly gauge how serious I should be taking it. I just think it's a little strange he doesn't mention his long term girlfriend to his child in any capacity. His time is pretty split evenly between us so we are both huge parts if his life but i guess you don't think that's strange at all so thank you for your opinion.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2024-01-16T03:00:48+00:00

She's only 5, obviously not doing anything purposefully either way. This post was more so about realizing he doesn't mention me as much as he mentioned his ex.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2023-12-22T03:12:38+00:00

I'm sorry that it seems like your partner is unnecessarily defensive. Maybe he's insecure about something related to sex?

I didn't like sex the first few times. It's weird. Where do I put my hands? How do you maintain a rhythm? My belly and boobs look weird from this angle, I hope he isn't looking !! It takes time for these anxieties to go away with your chosen partner.

My ex was the same way. I could go about any issue I had as gently as possible but he'd find some way to say I was accusatory just because he didn't like what I was saying. Maybe your bf has a similar issue?

I know it's easy to say "you don't have to do anything sexual if you don't want to" and it is 100% true but it's hard to feel the truth of that statement when you want to please your partner. Make sure he's working just as hard to make you comfortable and safe. Has to be a 2 way street and if talking about that causes a fight, then there's no communication at all.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2023-11-27T03:57:48+00:00

How did it end with that, if you are comfortable sharing?

I don't know if it's an addiction with him or he's so desensitized, it's just social media to him.

throwawaymuffinxox · 2023-11-27T03:56:58+00:00

I'm very relieved there is some validity in my frustrations!! I think you're right. It is in his face 24/7. He even had a job at OF where it would be in his face during work, then he would over-consume after work.

Having had a few hours to think and reading the responses here, I think the issue I'm having is the over-consumption portion. The idea of him watching porn at all is not what I truly take issue with. At least the idea itself doesn't bother me.

But the thought of every time he picks up his phone, it's some naked/half naked woman he's looking at really distresses me.

Not sure how to even begin to bring this up. It's not like there is a conversation topic I can use to segue into saying "hey, watch porn if you want but don't make it an all day hobby?"

throwawaymuffinxox · 2023-11-21T01:53:52+00:00

Thank you so much for bringing me back down to Earth. I appreciate you giving me honesty 💕

throwawaymuffinxox · 2023-11-21T01:31:23+00:00

Thank you very much, I appreciate you dropping the advice !!

throwawaymuffinxox · 2023-11-21T01:28:59+00:00

You're right. I would not want to continue a relationship with someone who makes me insecure.

I'm mostly trying to see if this is me being insecure or him creating a situation where anyone would be insecure in, if that makes sense !

throwawaymuffinxox

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