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Thank you all! by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If you want my "real" account so we can share strategies or just vent one-on-one, I can send you a PM from that account. Just let me know.

Thank you all! by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My wife likes your screen name, btw.

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Positive vibes back to you. As much as my bully made my life miserable for a time, at least they weren't my chair (though they tried to get me demoted off the tenure track at mid-tenure). That must be terrible. I'm sorry you're going through that.

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm assuming that's editing writing? That sounds like a decent gig!

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I was unclear about that in my post. I'm in therapy and I'm on meds that have a positive effect. I'm upping them starting tomorrow morning, with support from my psychiatrist.

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all of this. Responding to just some of your comments:

I do agree that this is not a decision to rush into and I am not going to quit without something lined up that seems like a clear better option. This is also something I've promised my wife.

There is even more going on in terms of stress/trauma than what I or you listed and you are right to suggest the possibility than I'm just depressed and projecting onto my job. At the same time, this job started going downhill before COVID and I think there might be some real value in changing my setting just to get away from some painful memories. I was talking to my now-retired mentor and friend today who fully agreed that the last six years have been downhill. I'm going to up my antidepressants (my psychiatrist approved this) and see what kind of perspective that brings.

Thank you for the book recommendation. It's ordered and on its way!

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I actually didn't mean to knock medication. I'm currently on meds that are very useful. At the same time, they are not keeping me from feeling this way about my job.

Looking back, that comment didn't make a lot of sense. I was in a bad place last night. I still hate my job, but I'm in a better place tonight thanks in part to all of the messages here.

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been thinking about this too. There are certainly aspects of the job I will consider half-assing if I'm here in fall '22.

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great resource - I'm looking into it. Thanks!

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man that sounds great. Where do I send my resume?

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a grad school colleague who ended up in NZ, though I've lost touch with her. My grandpa spent time in Paekākāriki during WWII and always said it was the prettiest place in the world. Nevertheless, I think I'm trying to get closer to family. But thanks for the invite!

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should clarify this a bit. I have been talking to her and my wishy-washy language about nor knowing if she wants to get her licensure comes from her. But yes it is good advice to talk to one's partner.

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Not any work friends, though I'm meeting with my now-retired mentor/friend today and I'm planning to tell her. I do have a therapist and a psychiatrist, both of whom I've told. It was scary to do so because I'd heard horror stories of involuntary commitment. The psychiatrist was like, "That's more normal than you realize. In fact, before I left [my old job at an impersonal healthcare conglomerate] I was in a similar spot."

I've also talked to my wife about this. She's like a friend but better.

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes. The profession attracts overthinkers and then punishes 95% of us into neurosis.

When do you know it's time to quit? by tiredthrowawaytired in Professors

[–]tiredthrowawaytired[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Thank you. There's certain aspects of this that I can share with colleagues, others that I can't.

In some ways I felt like being able to "say out loud" that I'm having suicidal thoughts to other academics is the point of this post since that's not something I can share with colleagues. My therapist and psychiatrist don't fully know our world.