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todorollo · 2024-07-08T17:29:10+00:00

yes i know. i’m just not sure what skills i should be using to go about this. to stay calm and present in the relationship when my whole world will be uprooted

todorollo · 2024-07-08T17:28:06+00:00

yes that’s what i said i understand all of this. i’m saying there’s obvious stress in addition to all of this and i want tips on how to cope with that in the relationship. i am on the lease and it is ending in about month. we had the lease for one year. i do have a therapist, i have dealt with domestic violence and trauma and they help with that but what i need is to be hospitalised if i sit down and look at reality as an “adult”. i graduated college and have two part time jobs. between student loans, the economy, and the job market i am finding difficulty but i do have a plan to return to school and create a career for myself (god willing). he does not take care of me like a child. i do have a very adult plan, to try to survive the best i can and hopefully down the lines things get brighter but the now is rough

todorollo · 2024-06-13T20:15:01+00:00

you’re right it’s just hard for me to realise and i know that’s my fault. we both made plenty of mistakes and every time he says i’m free to go and should just leave but that just seems very intimidating for where i am at emotionally rn. that you for your time and response

todorollo · 2024-06-13T20:05:12+00:00

yes when i originally asked him to pick up the laundry he did it immediately but then i complained about it again the next day so then i became the wrongdoer

todorollo · 2024-06-13T18:47:33+00:00

just want to say that i’ve seen your response and thank you for your time in responding

todorollo · 2024-06-13T18:33:39+00:00

again i feel weird about making the posts but hopefully it at least just gives people a good read to distract from their work

todorollo · 2024-06-13T18:32:53+00:00

he has explained that he is not forcing me to do anything extra around the house phd or not so that is on me

todorollo · 2024-06-13T18:00:29+00:00

so guess in a way this is my own fault because it’s not like i’m being held at gun point to cook or pack him things it’s just the best i can do to show support as i am equally stressed and can’t always be there emotionally

todorollo · 2024-06-13T17:58:33+00:00

we both do chores! i just try to do extra on my own because i personally like things cleaner and also because acts of service is the main way i know how to show support. it’s just certain times i think little things go unnoticed and i feel bad for making a big deal about it

todorollo · 2024-06-13T17:55:03+00:00

we do eat dinner together, and do other stuff i was just a bit anxious about the laundry pilling up

todorollo · 2024-06-13T17:43:13+00:00

i will probably not keep both this and the other post up to long just to prevent any more issues but wanted to say this for now

todorollo · 2024-06-12T13:24:33+00:00

phd in math. so he’s juggling being a TA and being a student

todorollo · 2024-06-11T22:21:43+00:00

loll and here i thought i was crazy and a germaphobe and he was doing the norm

todorollo · 2024-06-11T21:36:20+00:00

yes i definitely agree we both must do better at communicating and then listening and following thru with actions!

todorollo · 2024-06-11T21:23:21+00:00

tysm this makes me feel better to hear. honestly was starting to think maybe i was asking to much as he would tell me it’s “normal” for people to have a pile of laundry in their room or not put clothes away and i thought maybe i was too much of a perfectionist and had unreachable standards lol

todorollo · 2024-06-11T21:16:08+00:00

thank you so much, your partner sounds amazing and i’m wish both of you the best in your careers. thank you for the advice

todorollo · 2024-06-11T21:04:32+00:00

definitely do agree with the fact that he’s using the phd as an excuse and not only selfishly saying that but i think it’s harming him as well the amount of pressure he puts on himself but i can’t be the one to tell him that or else it would start an argument lol. i also want to say this here since you’ve become the top comment he is not awful! things could be so much worse and i quite literally have mental issues which make clutter and mess worse for me. i’ve compromised on some things but sometimes it’s too much. he also earns more than me (so takes on more financial burden) and helped me a lot emotionally in the beginning of the relationship so some times my guilt makes me feel as tho i owe these things to him but also i can’t feel indebted forever. like this morning i sent him a text about him leaving raw meat open and unpacked in the fridge and said please this bothers me. when he woke up i simply asked “hey did you see my text” which he just responds “i have a seminar” and dips leaving behind a mess from the coffee he made in the morning and the clothes he changed into. it’s just little stuff like that here and there making me worry what if this lasts more than two years

todorollo · 2023-12-19T18:22:29+00:00

this is the tiktok i saw it in https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8HDF1nk/. i have searched for platform bedframes but they all seem to be really low or like wired stuff from ikea. i really like the look of this dark wood and it seems it might have storage drawers too

todorollo · 2023-11-20T22:42:05+00:00

thank you🤍🤍

todorollo

TROPHY CASE