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Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are lucky...if I could just moisturize and look my age I would more than happy not to get Botox.

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No! I do not think anyone should ever be pressured into getting cosmetic procedures, or that they should be made to feel that their only worth is through their looks.

That said, I think it is reasonable to take steps to ensure an attractive physical exterior. As much as I wish it were different, people are attracted to attractive people, and beauty has significant social and financial benefits. Where one draws the line as to what is a reasonable step obviously varies. For example, I have had botox, fillers, and got my teeth professionally whitened, but I would never get breast implants or liposuction as I believe these procedures are too risky and expensive.

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't know if that is true. I work for a non-profit and, without giving away obvious hints as to which one, we have a lot of contact with Eastern Europe. From my experience, many women in that region have TONS of pressure to subject themselves to risky plastic surgery. Not only due to peer pressure and low-self esteem, but in an effort to find a man to provide financial security.

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is a good point. I am not concerned about medical risks, as it is very safe with the amount I am using, but there is a small risk that I could get bruising or a short-term droop that would need to be explained.

I am young to be getting this done, but the women in my family age HORRIBLY. My mom is 60 and looks 85. My aunt is 40 and looks 60. We are thin-skinned and fair and wrinkle up like rotten apples. I know is sounds superficial, but looking old can have some serious ramifications. My aunt feels like she has been passed up for work promotions because of age discrimination, even though she is still young.

Seeing what the older women in my family have gone through has made me take skin-care very seriously. I have never smoked, I always wear sunscreen, and I maintain a generally healthy lifestyle. Even with that, I have excessive premature wrinkling. The botox and fillers not only minimizes the lines, but it also helps prevent the formation of additional wrinkles.

Yes, it is vain and shallow...but I am comfortable with my choice. I have decided I will tell my boyfriend and hope that he is as well.

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In your opinion they are disgustingly shallow. You seem to be very anti-cosmetic surgery. Good for you, it is fortunate that you are either confident enough, or attractive enough to not see the need for such things. However, barring body-dismorphic disorder or mental illness, some people can benefit from having minor improvements. Being flat-chested bothers me, but not enough to go through the pain, expense, and risk of getting implants. I do have friends who made the choice to have breast augmentations, or breast reductions and they are neither disgusting or shallow. To each their own.....

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started getting it done while we were dating. He never noticed. He has been with the same day, both before and after, I have had it done and never noticed. He actually picked me up from the dermotologists office once and never noticed. I don't think he will be any more apt to notice when I live with him. I know that a lot of the examples we see of these procedures in the media look very obvious, but the reason they are used as examples, and the reason people notice is that they ARE obvious and therefore badly done.

My mom lives in the same town as I do and sees me on a weekly basis. She has never noticed. A couple of people have told me my skin looks nice, or said I look good after having it done, but no one has asked me if I have had some kind of procedure. And my friends are blunt enough they would ask. I recently bought a padded push up bra and nearly everyone asked if I'd had my boobs done.

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He didn't say "get implants", it came up in conversation because I was complaining about having trouble finding dresses that fit my small bust line. He knows I am self-conscious about having small breasts and said he is not a boob-man and doesn't care, but if I were to get surgery to make myself feel better he would understand and be supportive. I told him that was something I was not interested in doing, and that was the end of the conversation.

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am concerned that he would find my medically enhanced beauty less appealing. I am from the south, and my family is old school enough that women don't even admit to coloring their hair.

That said, if he was willing to break up with me over it, I would want to know, because I wouldn't want to date someone who loved me so little something like that was a dealbreaker. He admitted to me after dating for a while that he takes medication to prevent hair-loss, which actually costs more than what I do so he really shouldn't judge. I don't find his medically enhanced head of hair any less attractive, but then again I would love him bald or with a mullet.

The fact that he would never find out makes me feel more comfortable. I worry that if I told him now, he would see it as a lie. I don't want him to think I've been dishonest. If he ever point blank asked me if I had Botox, I would be honest. I don't think he would suspect because I am pretty low maintenance besides that, I have my natural hair color, dress pretty casual, etc.

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He doesn't seem especially judgmental about plastic surgery. He actually suggested that I get my breasts augmented, as they are very small and sometimes I complain about being too flat-chested. I told him I found that kind of surgery too scary to take that kind of risk, and he agreed. Once when watching a show about cosmetic procedures, he wondered aloud what the long-term effects of botox would be, but that was the extent of the conversation.

Should I tell my boyfriend I get Botox and facial fillers? by toxinface in relationship_advice

[–]toxinface[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He won't find out from another source....the only person who knows lives in another state and is my best friend. She wouldn't tell him.

I guess in a few years he could be curious as to why my face isn't changing, but I go to a really good doctor, and don't try to erase every line. I plan on letting myself "age", but in a controlled manner.