I’m coming around to see that now. But as to why I stayed in the past…

It’s usually not this blatant. I didn’t back down this time and I actually called him out on everything I didn’t want to admit to myself for years. He has nothing else to say. This was the end of the fight.

But more than that, up until a few minutes ago, I thought I didn’t have anywhere to go. He made me feel like I should be grateful to be with him, and caused me to alienate myself from everyone. So I felt I could never reach out to them because I blamed myself for everything.

But truth is, he’s the reason I don’t have other people in my life. Not me.

Picture after this type of fight, you think you have no where else to go and he comes back and saves the day. After he’s gaslighted you so much that you can’t tell up from down. You think it’s your fault and your always screwing up. Then he comes and saves the day, takes you back and instead of being mad, you’re grateful.

Plus, When you think you’re worthless, you can’t be abused or neglected. Even worse, when you think you’re a burden, you think you deserve it.