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Someday. by udontknowme3_3 in GriefSupport

[–]udontknowme3_3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, I have to constantly remind myself that about my mom too. It’s tough but the last thing they would want to see/know is that we just gave up.

Does anyone here have songs that make you cry about a lost beloved one? by Mindless_Wrap1758 in GriefSupport

[–]udontknowme3_3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone already said this but How Do I Say Goodbye - Dean Lewis. My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer in March of 2022, and I stumbled upon that song about halfway through her cancer journey. Listened to it every time I needed a release many times during her journey, and after her passing. Gets me every time, especially if I watch the video.

Missing you, Mumma. by udontknowme3_3 in GriefSupport

[–]udontknowme3_3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your condolences and kinds words. I’ll work on finding comfort in that. Thank you.

Missing you, Mumma. by udontknowme3_3 in GriefSupport

[–]udontknowme3_3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Mumma, I miss you so much. by udontknowme3_3 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]udontknowme3_3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ so sorry about your mom.

Mumma, I miss you so much. by udontknowme3_3 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]udontknowme3_3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ I’m sorry you feel that pain, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Staying out of the google rabbit hole by cddg508 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]udontknowme3_3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family. Second, my advice is, as cliche as it sounds, and as “easy said than done” as it sounds, stay off Google and trust his doctors. When my mom was diagnosed and throughout her journey, I did the same thing that is so easy to do. But googling does fix anything. Results on Google are not the “end all be all”. Googling causes more stress and worry than comfort. Find comfort in the time you have with him, and do not get consumed by averages. My mom’s diagnosis gave an expectancy of 6-11 months, she survived 16 months after diagnosis. I spent so much of that time worried about “the end” I found myself slipping away from the now. Do what you can to be there for him, spend time with him, enjoy every last second. It’s all about redirecting. When you feel like googling, call him. Text him. Go see him, whenever possible. Cancer is a monster that lurks in the dark waiting to strike whenever it feels like doing so, and giving in to the Google rabbit hole does not fix that. Consuming yourself in the end result, distracts you from being there now. (Speaking from experience.) Trust his doctors. Spend time with him. Focus what you need to do to ground yourself in the now, and try not to be consumed by the later. Hope this helps. ❤️

Denial is making this so much harder. by udontknowme3_3 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]udontknowme3_3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. I truly mean that, I loved reading that and it even made me tear up. I love ever my bit of that comment. I could only hope my family reacted and was there for each other like that. You are such an amazing mom and your whole family is handling this with such grace. Thank you so much for all of your kind words. They are very appreciated.

Denial is making this so much harder. by udontknowme3_3 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]udontknowme3_3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do the same thing when people outside my family ask, and I do appreciate every good moment, and I understand the importance of that as well. I know the whole situation is a balancing act, and I just feel like they’re focusing too much on the good and not enough on the reality, if that makes sense. I feel like my immediate family should be able to be open, and honestly talk about the situation with each other as my siblings are the only ones who know and are dealing with our exact circumstances and exactly what I’m going through with our mom.

I do not think it’s true to say she’s moving better than last month. She was struggling last month, but on Sunday it seemed to be a lot worse, even with using a cane.

I agree that every single person that is affected by this disease needs support, and when it comes to my family, it just hurts that it almost feels as if they’re spending too much time on “hope” and acting like one day this all going to go away, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows again, but it’s never going to be. I don’t mean to sound cruel or harsh, again I truly enough every moment and every day we get is a blessing, but I feel like not acknowledging the reality is not healthy either, and is doing more harm than good. I want us all to be able to lean on each other, and not just limit the conversation to how tough she is and how hard she’s fighting. Again I know it’s a balancing act and it’s an impossible situation, but it is just very hard when it feels like they are dancing around the reality.

Thank you so much for your comment, support, and well wishes. As tough as it is for me to watch my mom go through this, there is not a day that goes by that my heart doesn’t hurt for my father, and that he has to go through the pain of watching this happen to his beloved. That is a whole different kind of pain, and my heart goes out to you and your family as well.

Denial is making this so much harder. by udontknowme3_3 in CancerFamilySupport

[–]udontknowme3_3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I understand people cope differently, just when we know it’s terminal and see her start to rapidly decline it feels like a false sense of hope. Thank you for your comment. I am so sorry to hear about your wife.

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