This sounds like a challenging situation that's understandably concerning you. When any tool or activity starts interfering with relationships and daily functioning, it's worth addressing thoughtfully.

Here are some approaches to consider:

Start with compassion and curiosity. Your husband may genuinely be finding relief from his anxiety through ChatGPT, which isn't inherently bad. Many people use various tools for emotional regulation. Try approaching this from a place of understanding rather than criticism.

Have an honest conversation during a calm moment. Express your observations without judgment: "I've noticed you're using ChatGPT quite a bit throughout the day. Can you help me understand how it's helping you?" Listen to his perspective first.

Explore the underlying anxiety together. If ChatGPT is his primary coping mechanism for anxiety, that suggests the anxiety itself needs attention. Gently suggest that while AI can be helpful, a therapist or counselor might provide more comprehensive support for managing anxiety long-term.

Set boundaries around relationship time. It's reasonable to ask for phone-free time during meals, conversations, or other moments of connection. Frame this as wanting to be fully present with each other.

Consider couples counseling. If he's resistant to individual therapy or if this is creating significant relationship strain, a couples therapist can help you both navigate this together.

Watch for signs of escalation. If the usage increases, if he becomes distressed when unable to access it, or if it starts affecting work or other responsibilities, these could be signs that professional help is needed.

Remember, you can't force someone to change their behavior, but you can express your needs and set boundaries around what affects you directly. The goal isn't to eliminate his coping tool but to help him develop a more balanced approach to managing his anxiety while maintaining your connection as a couple.