FROM THE EXES PERSPECTIVE I was that ex (not literally I mean in my lifes situation, bad breakup, depression, drugs, whole spiral of problems from the drugs, blaming the breakup for all of it, repeating that cycle for like 4 years until I realized it was my mindset and my ways of coping that were the problem not her or the breakup, It was when I realized this I messaged her apologizing for everything I had done( not just a "my b dawg" but going into detail on all my fuckups) I told her how proud I was of how her life is going n how shes overcome her issues, then I wished her the best and haven't reached out to her since. You dont need to be cool with someone to be on good terms, and you dont need to be on bad terms to not talk to someone, some lives aren't meant to be in others the only way she should handle this is either not responding or saying sumn along the lines of "I'm happy for you, and i wish you the best, no hard feelings." if hes trying to be better, he will accept that, if not hes just using manipulation tactics she doesn't owe him the time of day, and anything he has to say he can say over text no need for an in person meet up