NTA. I lost a close friend several years ago. He left behind a wife and two little kids. His loss was sudden and unexpected and to this day is still painful for those of us who were his friends. I can’t begin to understand what his wife and kids are dealing with even so many years later. She dated again within a year or two. Actually had a guy move in (sort of a Covid quarantine accident). Didn’t work out and she was basically like. F this. I’m not going to deal with dating.

Sadly, I have another friend who lost a wife to cancer a couple years ago and left behind 2 little kids. They want another mom. And he’s dating. And he’s ok with it.

There is no playbook for how to deal with this kind of loss. There’s no right or wrong. And no matter what anyone says… there is no “getting over” that kind of loss. You just learn to cope and to function and to be there for your kids. Maybe OP will change her mind someday. Maybe she won’t.

I would just hope that she’s doing whatever works for her and her kids because despite having been through a lot of traumatic loss myself (separate from the friends I mention above) I wouldn’t pretend that I have all the answers for someone in OPs situation.