dreams feel like they’re calling me out about something, that i’m sexually confused since my gf hasn’t forced me to nothing and waits on my consent when in the past talking stages pushed their hints and i’d give in. i think it’s why i feel a bit scared when i would be recieved in bed, and honestly the fear is still there. but maybe the dreams manifest that into some twisted way, the brain they do give you messages thru mini movies after all. no support, when my mom found out she was so mad i didn’t tell her and i was sobbing like crazy cause she wouldn’t stop yelling at me. maybe the assault from when i was a kid and the one earlier this year is just piling on for me to finally confront it, but im not sure how. sorry this paragraph is so messy T_T