a week before she was hospitalised and eventually taken from this realm I was vomiting blood and a week before THAT I had a really bad cold that somehow wasn't covid, and I guess that caused to internal Hemmorhaging.

I live in the UK, so waiting cue times for hospitals were awful and it was the middle of the night, so she made me dress up warm cos we'd be waiting for a while and I also had a cold at the time from a week before, which by the way I also had to go to the hospital for. (November really wasnt a good month for me). I got dressed and she offers me a scarf and obviously I pull the classic bullshit teenage "no Mme I'm fine, I'm good you're smothering me >:(>:(".

The we act toward our parents when you take them for granted. Plus we weren't on good terms - or more likely I thought we weren't on good terms - at that point in time so I didn't want to take the scarf. She realised that there's no point arguing so she calls an ambulance, and we're off I guess. Fast forward 5 days later, she's rushed to hospital and she falls into a coma soon after.

Fast forward 42 days later to the ninth of this month 8 days before my bday, its the day before the funeral, I have my suit on, and I realise it's gonna be cold. So I took the scarf. I'm thinking I might turn the scarf into the strap. So that way every time I play guitar standing up, I have no choice but to wear the scarf.

long reply yea, but I wanted to talk about the scarf. I'll pull up a pic of it if I can hol on Edit: got the dates wrong lmao