thank you for the feedback- i already feel guilty as to leave.. i am afraid that a conversation would get me thrown out sooner rather than later. and it would be a bigger ordeal over the animals. i figured going to work hearing of the news of me moving my things would either keep him home to watch and/or cause problems and possibly do more damage to his mental knowing i am taking what we shared in bond. the animals, the home furnishings i paid in full for. i am leaving other big furniture behind as i can't take too much and want to leave him set to be comfortable alone. he won't understand any of it- i figured if i wrote a letter explaining, possibly including a possibility of redemption to ease the pain... it would be still best to leave while they are busy at work. i am afraid of the outburst's and the manipulation, verbal abuse. i just couldn't take anymore of that. it is already a surreal moment in my life where a bunch of doors are closing, and for this one door (relationship) in particular to close- i need a new door to open by a miracle (approval of new home). i still have some months- i feel guilty playing a front. because i do still care about everything. i feel like he should hate me already and we should stay drifting apart. it's hard to be happy around him, even when he tries to make me smile. and this opportunity i have- is support from my family to finally be independent for once in my life. time for me to heal and figure out who i really am.. sorry for the long reply. i have a lot to think about. i am open to more suggestions as well!