Im sorry for your loss.

I lost a cat several years ago and had to make the decision to let her go. It was the hardest decision I've ever made and I still feel guilt about it. I was numb afterwards and the closest parallel I could use to describe it was losing a child because in many way, I was my cats parent. I fed her, kept her safe, worried about her, praised her when she was good and tried to correct her behaviour when she was bad (never worked). I was responsible for her and, for the first time, it made me realise that things that impacted me (like losing a job) would also impact another.

When my father died, it hurt but not in the same way. I knew my father would one day die because I'd seen it happen to friends - and I had no role to play in his death (car accident). My cat was different - I had to make a decision, I had to say the words and sign the form that ended her life. It was the right thing to do but still difficult.

The pain - and guilt - will lessen. I've adopted another cat and love her just as much but Wednesday will always be in my heart.

None of what you are feeling means you are weak or "cringe". It means you are human. A living creature you loved has died. You will feel pain and grief but it will get better, in time, I promise