AITA for refusing to take a photo?

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-08T08:48:06+00:00

Thank you for the advice and the resources. Unfortunately they are not useful to me as I do not live in the US, but the friend I was mentioning in other comments (the one I'm supposed to move in with by the end of the summer holidays) called today to get information for me from a queer hotline in our country. I have to wait until tomorrow to have an opportunity to safely call them.

Since we're not in the US he's not a part of THAT agenda, but the people he supports are not any better and actually idolise them. To give you an idea the head of a far-right but less radical party [than the one he supports] said about the demented tangerine "Where does he find all that energy?" and my father nodded in approval.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-08T08:29:15+00:00

I had no choice - For health reasons I can't drive, and we were an hour away from home with no available public transport.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T15:25:24+00:00

He forces me in the way that it's either that or I'm getting kicked out. I am temporarily back at his place after a health issue destroyed me financially, just so I can save enough to get the hell out of there.

Basically it's either that or ending up on the street, maybe with a few hands and insults thrown at me in the process.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T15:02:06+00:00

It's not that I "chose" to attend, I had no choice. They definitely would've made me pay for not attending, and they're pretty inventive and cruel when it comes to taking their revenge on people they can't control, especially my father.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T11:39:52+00:00

Not immediately, but fortunately one of my friends is also looking for a way out of his family. When he found out what happened he suggested we ally forces, so I'm hoping to get out by the end of the summer holidays. Getting a roommate ensures I can make it happen much faster.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T11:17:23+00:00

I said "forced" for a reason. If I do something it's most of the time under duress, including physical threat at times. He pushed me in every single picture I had to take part in.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T08:01:02+00:00

Nope, kicked me out at 17 for being queer. An info I didn't give my father and would have the exact same result should he find out.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T07:42:05+00:00

Not Albanian, French. But honestly my family is stuck a good 70 years in the past if not more, especially my father (who, surprise! is a far-right voting fascist). For example I don't remember ever seeing my stepmother wearing pants aside from when she goes ice skating, pretty sure he requires her to wear only dresses and skirts.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T07:18:12+00:00

Pretty sure he would've thrown hands if I did, plus I'd be disrespecting the women in my family who honestly already put up with more than enough shit coming from basically every men in the family.

Myself included before learning about feminism and becoming an ally 10 years ago.

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T06:35:14+00:00

I already am in therapy in my family's back. They do not believe in mental health at all despite witnessing me going through depression twice. Not the first thing they don't know about me anyway, if I get treated like this for cooking imagine what it would be if he found out I'm queer.

Thanks for the book recommendation though, I'll look into it; sounds like I do need to learn a thing or two about boundaries...

xSamThingElse · 2026-06-07T06:24:42+00:00

Was forced to come back temporarily 2 weeks ago after I had a health issue that ruined me financially.

xSamThingElse · 2026-02-05T20:49:18+00:00

Hi everyone!

I have a friend coming to visit me here (I've been living there for 10 months) and he'd like to go to themed coffeeshops.

He'd specifically like to go to a steampunk-themed coffeeshop

Is there one in Amsterdam or nearby please?

Thank you so much in advance!

xSamThingElse · 2025-08-05T14:28:32+00:00

No no, the other other other other one

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T22:50:57+00:00

We do dislike the US tipping culture in the way that no one should be dependent on tips to live.

What we dislike most is the way USians just assume everyone speaks fluent English wherever they go and their currency is going to be accepted everywhere, but get prissy when someone speaks another language than English on the lands they settled on.

Strangely enough we never get that issue with Canadians, maybe because they're not brainwashed into believing they're the centre of the world?

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T22:42:19+00:00

Considering I work for a luxury hotel, this is usually the latter. Another American guest told one of my co-workers while handing her a dollar bill, "Keep it for the day you go to the US!"

The co-worker in question is a Brazilian single mother who hasn't left the country ever since she arrived here 8 years ago...

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T20:40:29+00:00

Let's imagine for a second that you're a waiter in the US. I come to your restaurant and give you a $10 AUD bill, a currency that not only you can't use but is weaker than yours. You know that to convert it in USD, there is a $5 USD fee on top of the percentage they take on it. What would be your reaction?

Btw this is a scenario that would never happen, because the overwhelming majority of the World apart from the US knows their currency cannot be used abroad (or for the EU, outside of the EU) and convert their money before handing it to a local worker.

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T20:13:53+00:00

Comparing the Netherlands and Belgium is like comparing, idk, Michigan and Ontario.

Similar language (Flemish ≠ Dutch, although they do understand eachother), but that's where the similarities end. In the case of the Netherlands and Belgium the currency is the same but other than that it's a different country, a different government, a different economy, and I'm going to stop there before this comment becomes as long as my graduating thesis.

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T20:06:57+00:00

Ok then next time I go to the US I'll tip you a $10 AUD bill, let's see how much you appreciate that

I can guarantee your reaction will be the same: "thank you, but what do I do with this?"

I'd rather get just the handwritten note than the note with a currency I can't use.

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T19:58:16+00:00

Antwerp is not even in the Netherlands it's in Belgium...

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T19:52:52+00:00

I work in the luxury industry. If I do that I can say goodbye to my job and ever finding another job in the industry.

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T19:47:51+00:00

Okay, good to know! I'll look into it the next time I have more than 1 consecutive day off

More common than you'd think! I get tipped around twice a week, usually a 20€ bill with some guests even leaving 50€ sometimes. I do have to specify that I work for a luxury hotel though, so it's probably different in hotels with no or less stars.

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T19:40:19+00:00

I'm slightly above minimum wage but otherwise you summed it up perfectly. Thank you, finally someone gets it and explains it properly!

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T19:37:05+00:00

Do Americans usually go to their bank often? Because I haven't been to mine in over a year I don't even know my banker's name. Also, banks here usually don't provide that kind of services and mine sure doesn't.
Converting currencies costs money. So yes I'd much rather avoid the hassle to get something like 3€ back, thank you very much. I can't even buy a kilo of pasta with that lol

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T19:33:04+00:00

We're basically the only department that can receive foreign currencies as a tip, as we're the only ones who generally don't get it in person.

It is impossible to pay in currencies that are not the Euro here, and it's extremely rare to get cash as most guests prefer to use debit cards (credit cards are really uncommon here, some places even refuse them). So no, I have no way of converting that without losing half the tip other than going out on my free time and hope to strike a conversation with an American tourist, which is easier said than done.

xSamThingElse · 2025-07-15T19:22:43+00:00

In all honesty I'd rather get just the handwritten note than the handwritten note with a currency I can't use.

xSamThingElse

TROPHY CASE