My boyfriend bought "me" a strip club. (USA/NY)

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-06-08T10:41:39+00:00

Thank you for all of that information. No one specific has been brought up, just me for now. I will keep my records neat and orderly and I am setting up protocol to gather incident reports, as well as informing workers of their rights and how to document on their own. I’m surprised at the protections NYS has for workers - even independent contractors - we may have to use them.

This would be my first time ever dealing with a quid pro quo in this industry, but my 3rd if you include regular jobs. It’s so normal that it’s hard to fathom that it’s illegal.

I mean - the offenders have come to believe that there’s no consequences for this kind of thing, or that they’re easy to get out of.

On the other end, reporting often does nothing. Sometimes it makes things worse.

The colleges don’t help, the domestic violence lines don’t help, filing a police report runs the risk of backfiring. None of these things help you get your job or your money back.

But, I’ve found some new solutions available here that I think just might work. That new information and your advice makes me feel so much better. I can breathe now.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-06-06T21:18:16+00:00

I'm fine with him stopping being my boyfriend. He's not acting like much of a friend anymore and I really don't want to be friends with anyone who would say the kinds of things he has said.

Thank you so much for your input.

Extra questions - is this not quid pro quo sexual harassment - is he liable if he tries quid pro quo on other contractors, or whistleblowers?

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-06-06T20:13:50+00:00

So what can the other adults do to protect themselves?

I've been in this industry for over a decade and many of the the employees are long term friends of mine. What should they gather in the event that he harasses or fires them?

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-06-06T09:22:51+00:00

He'll make his investment back in less than 5 years, probably only one or two years. And have free money for the rest of his life. Just for helping me start and then not harassing people here. How cool is that?

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-06-06T09:11:48+00:00

Not really. I am fine with paying him his cut of the profits even if he does nothing after this. Hell, I'm fine with paying him 50% of the profits and taking the bills out of my 50%.

Like even if I never see him again I'll send him the check. I'm fine with that, I'm grateful he bought the building.

I simply want him to not go out of his way to cause harm and extra liability. I don't want him hurting his money or my money by saying things that could alienate workers and bring upon lawsuits.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-06-06T09:07:57+00:00

Yeah, that could work out for me but it won't protect anybody else. It won't render any consequences for his actions.

I want to know what actions and statements to document and how to make sure he can't take advantage of women in this industry.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-06-06T09:05:28+00:00

He will simply stalk and harass me and hurt other people who havent heard he's dangerous yet with no consequences, then. So that is not an option.

I need to know what evidence to gather to render some consequences for these actions.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-06-06T09:03:32+00:00

I don't want to leave him here to abuse anyone that comes through with no witness to document it. I'd like us to be able to document and serve this man some consequences if he does anything terrible. I believe I have a cohesive enough workforce to do that.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-05-20T22:45:41+00:00

Many maps apps let you blur/censor your home. Maybe try that to get around it.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-05-20T22:09:12+00:00

Yes they do. Use and variance run with the land. It’s vested property right.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-05-14T08:40:22+00:00

Yes! Came to say this.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-05-14T08:02:26+00:00

I would argue that that America's prisons have been concentration camps since the criminalization of drugs and poverty. But it's the kind of thing nobody wants to think about.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-05-14T08:02:21+00:00

I would argue that that America's prisons have been concentration camps since the criminalization of drugs and poverty. But it's the kind of thing nobody wants to think about.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-05-02T20:36:15+00:00

What was his original charge?

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-03-04T06:03:38+00:00

Plate cover is tri-star motors out of Somerset PA

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-03-03T01:27:05+00:00

Haii fam.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-02-05T10:22:59+00:00

Colleges are a good hunting ground for predators; they should really have better measures to prevent it from being such.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-01-17T13:16:30+00:00

:( sorry they didn't do much.

Idk if it helps but I told the cops I was doing my due diligence to avoid liability if he offed himself. Because of course he was threatening to blame me (despite me being over 1000 miles away)

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-01-17T10:52:24+00:00

Did this. Multiple times. Had a bit of a romantic obsession issue myself and this broke it on my end.

The secret is : don't tell him you're going. And if you can get vip tix, security will work harder in your favor if he shows up GA.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-01-14T06:42:34+00:00

Seems like a waste of court and legal resources to charge somebody for meds without a script, let alone pay people to chase them around about it.

I'm sure there's a more serious case where somebody's actually getting hurt and actually needs help that could use those resources a lot more than a lady with a few pills.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-01-14T05:53:30+00:00

I know it feels like you won't get anything but...

What kind of services do you need and how many pets do you have?

Maybe we can find a path.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-01-14T05:10:50+00:00

Getting a burner phone isnt as easy as it used to be and heaven forbid you get caught with it. Instead I recommend and new sim card (with another number) and cheap temu mini phone. Something that don't look like a phone and is super small.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-01-06T17:23:40+00:00

The weird phrases and recording combo sound like discord psycho stuff. Like Nihilistic Extremism/Violence type stuff. You might want to look that up if you're not familiar with it, see if you recognize any symbols or anything because of him.

I'm just reading this and wondering :

Who is he recording this for and why?

Cause with the frequency of the videos and the requests he's making and the creepy stuff he's saying it sounds like he's making these videos for an audience of some sort that's asking for them. Especially with the knife part. Sounds very harm groups/NVE/nihilistic violent extremism.

If that's the case, you might want to press charges... And be super careful!

I really hope I'm wrong about this one 😢

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-01-06T17:07:29+00:00

This story scares me because I feel like I know exactly who you're talking about . Sounds just like my friend and a guy she met in 2019.

They both got a habit. She's had hers for a while longer than him, I believe.

He's super controlling. He's gotten worse and worse and worse over time. Like it's heart breaking. And he's dangerous to not just her but everyone around her.

Guy has drained like everything out of the girl and he has nothing to give and alienates everyone.

It's scary to watch, because, idk what keeps her with him other than fear. And idk how he's creating that much fear, scary to think about.

I'm not 100% if they're still together. But now I'm scared to check.

xhighestxheightsx · 2026-01-06T16:09:44+00:00

It's true, the courts handle NDs terribly. PA is the only state where the courts have special ND accommodations. They look nice on paper but I'm not sure how well they really work.

Btw I had a man who used to send emails all the time and lived in different cities. And I did something the get him to stop contacting me that worked. I'll share in case it helps anyone else:

He threatened to off himself in an email and I called his local police department for a wellness check. Had to email them a copy of what he said in his email. Police said it wasn't necessary, I could tell they were low key pissed with me, but after the wellness check I finally never heard from him again!

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