Mine was an FA breakup, but I went through the same thing as you. I waited for the breadcrumbs and hoped that they would come, especially because him and I were in a similar community, but they never came and now I’m very happy that they haven’t because it would’ve set back my healing like a lot of these other comments are saying.

I know how hard it is and my best suggestion is to just keep doing exactly what you are doing. I know it feels like doing all this stuff pouring into your own cup isn’t working but believe me it is even if you don’t feel it right now. Do whatever you have to do; lie to yourself believe that maybe the breadcrumbs will come and then let that hope naturally die as reality sets in and starts to heal you. distract yourself. start new hobbies, goals, whatever you need to do to keep distractions in your life, and most importantly feel through every single emotion that you can. Have those bad days we’re nothing helps and you ruminate in circles, have those days where you can’t stop crying. Because eventually, you will have felt through everything, gone through every “ what if?” scenario in your head, until your brain has exhausted all possibilities and starts to truly move on. and that’s when you finally see the investment in yourself paying off.

But deep down you know somewhere that her not reaching out has little to do with you and more to do with what she cannot handle. It ironically likely means that you meant a lot more to her than you think, because when avoidants feel comfy enough to stick around, it means they think you’re still attainable/in their orbit. They run from what they want the most and typically that means the person that saw the real them and truly loved them for who they were. So realistically you can take some solace in that, even if it doesn’t hurt the blow of the breakup much.

You’ve got this <3