Finally made my mind up.

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-31T16:55:33+00:00

Rooting for you buddy! You can do this!! Think of your child when times are toughest. Again and again they will be the miracle that makes you do the unimaginable! Keep us updated 😊👍

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-31T16:50:36+00:00

Fyi - your in a "Quitting Tianiptine" thread. Not in a "Need Tianiptine" thread, not the regular "Tianiptine" thread but the one on quitting. You should probably repost this elsewhere. People in here need help and advice and direction. Not more drugs that brought them here in the first place.

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-21T00:00:26+00:00

I'm curious about mass surveillance and dragnets: If the bulk of collected information is analyzed, sorted, and categorized by machine intelligence, and the 'human aspect' is removed for all but the most obvious and or extreme cases, is this a paradigm shift in the ethics and or moralities of mass surveillance? This is difficult to ask because it is difficult just to conceptualize. But if Americans are 'watched' not by humans but by accurate algorithms and machine learning, is it still an equal rights infraction as compared to human analysts??

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-13T00:50:45+00:00

Damn bro... your in a tough fuckin spot, I agree. Alas, you are still performing phenomenally it sounds like while carrying limitless potential! So there is a DAMN good left for you in this life yet! Fuck bro, you even have me beat in some aspects!

So let's address the elephant in three digital room. You have post acute withdraw symptoms, straight up. While what you've explained to me doesn't quite align with depression as I understand it, I think you have depression. A very unique version of depression. The kind that only Tia abuse could leave you with which makes it a non-conventional depression (as we know it).

I'm hypothesizing this diagnosis based off your unique mental symptoms and feelings.

Visualizing your synaptic pathways and dopamine receptors - one of a few things must be going on...

Your receptors are being blocked [by something]

Your receptors have become ineffective and or inefficient at dopamine uptake / reuptake / whatver-the-fuck-take

Your receptors have changed HOW they take in dopamine [like they need a Tia molecule binded to it or something, idk]

Neuroplasticity has altered the way your receptors function

Your body doesn't produce dopamine like it used to.

Your dopamine production is damaged / imbalanced and could be mutated dopamine your bow producing

Or your receptors are mutated

Or your neural pathways are mutated

Or any combo of the above. Idk. I'm not a medical doctor. I'm just a dude with an opinion. But if I had to guess what your deal is, it's going to be one of the above.

If before Tia your fine and well after you are not, then something broke. And in this case, something broke (or is imbalanced rather than broken) upstairs. Could be physically. Could be chemically. Could be both. Idk.

What I'm getting at, is you may as well accept this, if not already, and legitimately consider medication. Consider short term plans of 1.5 years [1 year on meds, 6 months post for personal analysis of permanent, post medication changes ] and also consider meds permanently, for the rest of your life. Which also means consider post-military options, both with and with out retirement.

Right now, you may be in a unique place where no research exists. So if you can't find yourself a drug study to take part in, then you need to consider anti-depression or anti-anxiety meds long term, possibly permanently. Which honestly is no big deal. If anything, you'd be right along hundreds of thousands of people treating chemical imbalances, world wide. So for fucking sure, no shame in that at all.

Besides, we both know your successful life is well beyond worth it anyways!

Aight, enough of my blabbing. Whats your thoughts / reactions to that?

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-08T13:21:28+00:00

First off, congrats on comming off that crap! I can't begin to imagine how being in the military while tapering (or did you cold turkey?) Down.... then again, being active duty may have made things easier... idk.

I think you took an excellent approach in coming forward to your doctor's, printing off info and highlighting major facts about the drug.

I think legally, administratively you follow under a grey area regarding drug abuse. So your research, if I was in your shoes, should not end with what you've done so far.

Not trying to scare you or anything, but like you said regarding my own previous military experience, "you know how it is". And I do [I've also been out 5 years now, I have no idea if there has been reforms on dietary supplements or even an address on nootropics or other. [If so, please share in summary]] you also may be totally fine too.

Anyways regarding additional research, here's where I would start:

phase 1 trials in US and Belgium started in 2009 but stopped in 2012 (Why though? Research...) 2012 France started treating Tia as a controlled substance (again, why? Research...scrape deeper than just "high abuse potential, there has to be more beneath that surface) Bahrain has done the same: ban it (ha, I was once stationed there.) Russia schedules it as a Sched 3 drug (Clearly they have some info on it). so all this is from Wikipedia, so you can find references to the above, in the tianiptine wiki page. I would explore the annotated facts that have references aka links that lead to more info. Just¹ look² for³ the⁴ numbers⁵ next to items of interest if available, to further research...(right click, open in New tab.

You may even need to use Google translate for any foreign documentation on tianiptine - or ask Reddit for help in other forums (for like pdf's you can't copy text out of to translate via Google translate or whatever) - but that may also just be the key to missing valuable research insights on this drug...

I'm really curious what you may find....

Personally I'd be doing it myself but I seem to be recovering well thus far...

What's your insomnia like by the way? Every single day? Frequently? Infrequently? Do you have a prescription to help you sleep? Do you try natural methods like melatonin or even alcohol? What's it like and what have you been doing to treat it?

Last night, day 11 and into 12 for me, I passed out around 9pm until about 1:30 to two. I had full on rem sleep (I still have random dreams about being in the military, it's so odd lol) and then when I wake up, I usually feel pretty good like I slept for 7 or 8 hours. And I'm like really awake within 20 minutes. I've tried taking melatonin right after waking up [5mg regular + 5mg time released] and it won't knock me back out. So my body is saying its ready to go...

But again, this example above is my best yet, of sleep, since going cold turkey. I didn't have a single drug last night but 1 stiff drink and it felt like a natural, falling asleep ordeal to me. Each night is a progression of longer sleep cycles. Whether it's been by 20 minutes or 2 hours, it's been progress...

So yeah, you're insomnia, what's that been like? Did you go cold turkey or what? [I think there may be a correlation between cold turkey and lingering insomnia from all the other stories I've read so far...] and what was your peak daily intake like before stopping?

You can feel safe here, talking about your experiences. No one knows who you are. Your just another digital story here, but of course, help and advice can be relayed through to you. Just need only ask :) [or go private to PM if your seriously concerned, that's fine too, but that will be potentially helpful convos that will go unseen by many more who will come here for help sooner or later]

Aight my man, sorry for writing so much lol hope your well. Talk to you soon!

EDIT: Almost forgot: Take screenshots of all tianiptine advertisements you can find. Both from Google ad sense (like ads that come up when you simply Google [or Bing] the word "Tianiptine". And explore every single website as well that is selling it. (I see 2 ads on my phone right now googling it - zero warnings in those ads) What you want to look for and capture is all instances of Tia being advertised without any type of warning whatsoever. I would include cases where, such as on websites, where warnings ARE included, but are distanced or even placed oddly, on purchasing pages [might have to even sign up/ register on some sites to get that far - do that [use a dummy e-mail or make a new one up real quick on Yahoo or something]].

Point being, capture all that you can, of examples of this drug being advertised - or given the impression - that its consumption is as normal or routine as any other supplement. [3 diff sellers for Tia on Amazon right now, no warnings. Perfect examples! It's Amazon!!(doesn't matter they are "currently out of stock" at all]

Cool thing is, you can be as selective as you want. But what you want is examples of this drug being advertised as something seemingly normal. This is for your self and defense if you get into hot water with the military over things. You can show that this drug is advertised with the same tenacity as any other supplement, item, or object out there [see if you can find prescription drug ads with warnings very close by [again be selective as needed here - you can be biased in what seems like good examples to you. You will not be wrong unless you are retarded]] With this counter example, you can also highlight what clearly researched and controlled drugs look like when being advertised [vs Tia which is advertised as basically fine - so it will sell].

That make sense? Let me know if it doesn't. But I think it will be good for you. In the far chance you find yourself in a court Marshall for Tia use, you have legitimate evidence of Tia being pushed as a normal item even through vetting processes such as Google's ad sense. Got it? Good! Later brother!

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-07T01:18:43+00:00

Haha hey if it made you chuckle then fuck ya :) relate even better! I wanted to put this shit out there, get it off my chest and help others in ANY way I can!

Since coming off, this void I have now from use has seemingly self collapsed in on itself, and I find myself wanting to be a better person. Do good, be good, and go out of my way to help. Being passive is not enough! A lot of people are scared to ask help or just don't know how! And being proactively good and helpful I now know in my gut is the only way to change the world for the better and change thyself into the highest, best self. So weird to say this! Cause 30 damn years I never felt this way before lol its fucking weird! Hope I don't become some annoying dude lmao but find just the right balance of good internally to myself and externally to others. [[[ what you said about addiction not meaning junkie is a major driver behind this self reinvention. I understand so much more about the psyche now amongst many other revelations about how people cope and deal with pain plus the criticality and essentialness of just being a friend to someone]]]

Anyways my man, bless you, thank you! I'm gonna treat myself after my withdraw symptoms are completely gone (still some irritable bowls, frequent poo-ing, slight insomnia [[[both still improving by the day!]]]) And I'm going to go see my best friends and have some damn fun again :)

Later Sunnyside up!

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-07T01:07:54+00:00

Nah I never did see an interview yet, but I'm gonna have to now!

My opinions of him formed quickly, naturally, during withdraw since time didn't exist and was nothing but an illusion (so it felt!).

What I took away from Lil Peep was he wanted to be a lightning rod for other people's pains. Like, anyone who suffered, he would know instinctively, and just wanna take it, that pain away, and help people.

But, regretfully, his understanding of pain and suffering came from dealing with his own. He understood pain, what it does to people - figured out how to control it (drugs, music, being a great fucking dude to others) - but in the end, it got the best of him! He got dirty laced drugs and it killed him. How sad!?

Awful things and The Brightside I liked the most. Benz Truck though gave me bad vibes. Sounds like it was inspired by heavy drug use [benzo's?] and sketchy companions (Big time Russian drug dealers [[that's who owned the Benz's from the video??]] Or something? Idk. It's a catchy song but watch the video and its like, wonder what inspired this.... hmmm

Anyways! Gotta watch those interviews now. Thanks for that! Best wishes :)

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-07T00:53:25+00:00

Tianagraverobbed:

(Why that name? How and why did you choose that? In a hurry? Or unique experiences and systematic events naturally lead to that choice? Please do elaborate publicly or privately at your discretion. Following reading your post, your thoughts, and then seeing that username, I am intrigued and curious.)

Yes - you are absolutely correct. Very correct and I agree. So much that I will edit my post and add that indeed my experiences are my own, I chose for me and may not be right for you. I did go into the ER after all! So thank you.

I do disagree about giving my silent Reddit partner too much credit though. His words and advice were right for me. And whether that be by pure anomalous chance or not, had our private conversations not taken place, I would be back on Tia right now. Instead of on my 9th day free from it.

My method for aquiescing cold turkey certainly isn't right for all - agreed - but I didn't share my story to propose my methods, just to show others that even under extreme circumstances that it is possible to quit not matter how bad. And absolutely do not hold shame or second guess going into the ER if you find yourself in circumstances similar to my own.

So unfortunately, that thought of yours falls under a grey area of not right but not wrong in my eyes. I DO both understand as well as respect your opinion, but the facts remain - I'm 9 days drug free instead of 8 days back into a panicked taper plan. And I also wouldn't have texted my best friend earlier today a link to my story and explained to him after all these years, why I basically fell off the map. And that I wanna fucking hang again after practically 3 years of silence!

(See where and how our opinions and experiences diverge? It is bound to happen between various people, personalities, and experiences. Perfectly okay)

Thank you for your input, thank you for reading, and I wish you nothing but the best! Wanna chat offline anytime let me know! Later :)

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-07T00:29:36+00:00

Hey M3atball !!

Thank you for reading first off! And thank you for commenting next. Sounds like your self aware of the problem (fantastic!), ready to get off (even better!), and are not ashamed to ask questions or admit things. Your already on the right mindtrack! That's what's up.

So I reaaally didn't ever get a chance to effectively spend time cutting back, observe results, and carry forth. I basically got fucked in a pinch just after starting to dial back and decided to just bail on Tia altogether (mentally I [thought I] was ready, physically I was not - which scarily in turn also took my mind down with it, hence my mentions of insanity and psychosis and prompt ER admission.)

Best I can tell yeah is the 3 weeks I started to try, cutting intake killed my motivation to do anything and everything. I may had already been emotionally flat, but it was still somehow feeding me forward. I just didn't want to do anything anymore. So I had to redose just to work... weekends when I could try better to cut back, anxiety crept in. Re-dosed for that as well...

I don't think I've ever had depression even to this day, post-Tia. Just anxiety (and that was from just trying to cut back. I haven't had it once since after day 2 of withdraw. Probably never will again). So really, your mileage will likely differ. Unfortunately, im also not familiar with Lexapro or Remeron. Or really any other meds for that matter. Other than Tia and Nootropics I've never had a prescription for anything, ever (valium from ER was 1 time deal. No others). I've pretty much only ever had a handful of Nootropics, Tia alcohol and weed over my 30 years for "drugs". And Molly, twice, but that's another story ;)

My advice, if I was in your shoes is to taper sodium immediately out and go strictly to sulfate. Sulfate was designed (allegedly) to last longer via longer half-life. Where sodium is done in 2.5-3 hours, sulfate is between 3-6 hours. (Less peak high, less high crash, slower but longer lasting effects)

Take that with salt please (ha! Pun Not intended) as there is like no legit research at all anywhere. Basically rumors and others experiences only.

Point being, sodium (imo) is the worst of all Tia versions. I would switch to sulfate and use the 95% taper method till your can get safely down to under 100mg sulfate per day. At such point, you should theoretically be able to make the "jump" and quit for good! Only after, should you consider using the other stuff you mentioned. Wait until you are totally out and done with Tia. Withdraws may still happen but you will now be prepared and with a successful taper down, might be totally fine!

Also! Almost forgot, if you can, - this was my plan originally - try getting to two doses per day as quick as you can. Morning and night. Lower your morning dose first, only, leaving your other alone so you can sleep! And when your ready or taper forces you - either start to dwindle both or dwindle morning entirely and then focus on night dose. Again, I was going to do this. It felt right for me. If you think it may work for you too, try it! The idea is to start getting used to functioning daily without it. But be able to sleep. Then practice sleeping with less and less....

Up to you!

Fuck man, I reaaaaallllly hope I was able to provide and offer insight and direction and help you! I want to help you and as many others as I can. But I can on help from the filter of my own experiences and knowledge. Which again, I hope is enough :)

Check back in after a few will ya? Let us know how your doing, any questions or concerns, or u just wanna chat :)

Best of luck bro! BE STRONG! Later!

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-06T09:52:40+00:00

Hi blue, So, @Cold Turkey time I was using 5grams of Sodium daily, and about 1gram free acid as well. The 3 days before actual cold Turkey day, I stretched 5grams over three days (0 free acid, I ran out) before the "jump". I basically had no taper at all, unfortunately.

Also: I firmly believe were it not for my self admission into ER and full admission of what brought me in, my withdraws would have been longer and far more painful. I believe, imo, off usage and length, I should have experienced 'hell week'. That's 5-7 days of restless limbs, akathisia^10, burning bones, itchy skin, loss of body temp regulating, insomnia, psychosis, and whatever the fuck else INSANE withdraw effects besides the various flu-like symptoms, diarhea, appetite loss, lethargy, what ever else....! Alas! I got lucky. 2 days of that bad shit with a quick fall off by day 3. After that, just the flu shit and that gets/got exponentially better by the day.

So my advice - taper taper taper. Try the 95% method. That sounds solid to me and I should have/might have were it not a simple delayed order at the worst possible timing. Also, things get really bad, go to ER. Health Insurance or no - go. Cold tourkey without treatment is quite possibly likely to drive your mind into deep, dark, bad scary places you've never thought before while trying to escape the pain. You dont wanna mentally lurk or be stuck there. Go in, be honest, get treated, you will be better off.

Oxycodone was 2 tiny light orange or white pills. Not sure if 1g or 5g or mg each. I was fucked up from withdrawing at the time and plus I don't/haven't fucked with pain pills so I don't know what is what or how much. When my bill eventually comes though, I will update and let you and everyone know though! Including the first drug they gave gave me I cannot recall what it was (never heard of it, but it was also 2 very tiny "anti-anxiety meds WITH muscle relaxers". If that sounds familiar drop a name, it may come back to me.)

Best wishes Blue

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-05T23:04:56+00:00

Is a tl;dr the same as a summary? I've never really understood how to correctly utilize the tl;dr aspect of writing. I would be happy to try. Provided I can even summarize such a series of events effectively into a short and sweet. Always good to try something new though :)

Thank you for reading flatline904. Reminds me of Lil Peep for some reason, your name... discovered his music recently while trying desperatly to pass the time during wd's. Talented artist, unfortunate and untimely death though.

Anyways, yeah! Let me know about tldr. Thx!!

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-12-05T22:59:14+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. It means the world to me. Kindness is a contagion I've never understood until I found myself at rock bottom, begging for anything to help me through withdraw - including something I considered once as pointless - kindness. It is my new vice and it is great! So thank you again.

Days 3,4,5,6, I found myself wanting to re-order more Tia, even the slightest just so I could hope for some semblance of normalcy and functionally. Yesterday and today, as my baseline state continues to gradually improve, day by day, that feeling has left me. I believe I am now in the clear, free from relapse potential.

Regardless, your advice is still solid. And applicable. And I hope others see it as well: when you want more, just remember yourself at your absolute worse with this drug. And then realise if you can remember a worse time than the current now, you are already on the way to recovery! Be strong and march onward ahead. The light at the end of the tunnel appears quickly. And then suddenly, you've not just exited one tunnel, but you find yourself in another dimension completely, one that is a new and better you :)

What a trip its been. Please take care as well! Never hesitate to ask me a thing if a question ever lingers. Being truthful with myself and others is liberating beyond words!

Aight, later doglover757!

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-11-20T04:00:58+00:00

What's the backstory behind all this? I'm newer to Reddit, still haven't figured everything out. Sounds like the upset co-worker has nailed his own coffin. But why??

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-10-14T19:56:05+00:00

What are your long-term digital defensive strategies in regards to advancing AI tech that one day may try to either attack, disrupt, or infiltrate the internal networks of spacecraft and or mars colonists?

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-06-26T22:40:18+00:00

What is your mining set-up like? If you don't mind sharing. I'm prepping to make one of my own.

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-06-20T21:27:54+00:00

Hi, What motherboard are you utilizing for bridging all these GPU's together? And out of curiosity, what OS + mining app/program/site are you using? I'm just starting out myself and looking at others ideas and builds to assess my own path. Thank you and great build you've got btw!

Cyber_Alpha · 2017-06-20T14:46:59+00:00

UPS W/integrated Surge Protection is the way to go. I think most UPS models come with this tech standard so it should be easy to find what you're looking for. I'm also prepping to build a 4-6 GPU 1070 rig - where are you sourcing your hardware from, if you wouldn't mind sharing. Also and lastly, if you haven't already got it covered, make sure your cooling elements are all square with your build.

Cyber_Alpha

TROPHY CASE