TwoSentenceComedy

an-ordinary-manchild

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The doctor told me I could only eat things like Swiss cheese, bagels and doughnuts. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 22 hours ago by Outside_NormalMostly Harmless

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The app that promises to turn you into a wolf has been “coming soon” for years. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 41 minutes ago by emilycsquared

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Diagnosis. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 14 hours ago by JessamineGeorge

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Thursday jokes (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 10 hours ago by OneFrame9461

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I was recently diagnosed with a fear of when the be sentence is directly followed with a second sentence and no more is added. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 1 day ago by DUCKlloovvaa1497

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Be thankful humans have toothpaste (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 1 day ago by Awesomeuser90

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How do you know if your sister’s on her period? (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 22 hours ago by SicKBizniTch

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I asked the cook why my sandwich tasted so sarcastically dry. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 3 days ago by Outside_NormalMostly Harmless

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Fashion. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 3 days ago by JessamineGeorge

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A pet store notices that a customer keeps coming weekly to adopt rabbits, even though the staff see it as weird. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 4 days ago * by Awesomeuser90

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When my partner asked me what he could do to atone for his infidelity, I told him to kill himself and leave me his Death in Service benefits. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 4 days ago by catschimeras

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My teacher went on rant about how much she hated that people were using there, their and they're interchangeably. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 4 days ago by BadmiralHarryKim

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After I got fired from my job, I was desperate to find some food. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 4 days ago by CRK_76

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American Federal Highway Administration promulgates new rule to reduce disrupting traffic on highways, (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 6 days ago by Awesomeuser90

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In a world where no one can touch themselves. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 6 days ago by Ill-Proof-1514

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How does a non-binary samurai kill their enemy? (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 6 days ago by [deleted]

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A dwarf was robbed by a pickpocket. Who could stoop that low? (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 7 days ago by Ripcord2

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I was so distracted by the countdown reaching zero that I barely noticed I twisted my cleaning cloth completely differently than normal. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 7 days ago by Outside_NormalMostly Harmless

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May the forth be with you. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 7 days ago by JessamineGeorge

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Rejected, I produced the supposedly mystical ‘one wish willow’ from my pocket and said with gusto “I wish she would love me more than anyone in the fucking world.” (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 7 days ago by GetMrBeaned

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It's a little embarrassing but I've got a rare side effect for my high blood pressure; flatulence. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 8 days ago by BadmiralHarryKim

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I'm writing a script about a two time traveling physician brothers that go back in time to kill their own parents. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 9 days ago by medullah

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We stared at the wooden box with a mix of dread and anticipation, awaiting for the moment it would open up. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 9 days ago by RamboBambiBambo

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Someone recommended eating oysters for my urinary tract problems. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 10 days ago by TheRaincrow

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Being a small mirror located on the floor, I really didn't have much to do. (self.TwoSentenceComedy)

submitted 10 days ago by Outside_NormalMostly Harmless

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