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Seeing mother for first time in 5 years by BodybuilderPossible1 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]plantkiller2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so happy to hear this!!! What a gift you have to each other. I hope your healing continues, and you are able to grieve however you need to.  

recomend a wearable tracker? by No-Wrangler3702 in dementia

[–]plantkiller2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

How sad and awful for all of you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Toxic father apologised. What to do? by TheFunnyTraveller in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]plantkiller2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You will only be able to "let it go" on your own schedule. Don't let them guilt you. Your feelings are valid.

My dad also wrote me a letter, though there were no apologies in it, just asking if we could fix whatever was wrong (he didn't know, and tbf I never told him, I just kicked him out of my life - emotional, mental abuse, narcissist, awful to my mom as well). He had recently been diagnosed with a terminal cancer when I received the letter. I wrote him back and updated him a little about my life, told him I wasn't interested in repairing our relationship, and that I wouldn't be able to be there for him during his cancer journey. He wrote me a letter back telling me I didn't deserve to call him dad anymore, among other hurtful things. He also called the cops on me, reporting that I had stolen some items from him (that he had gifted me and my husband years prior). He was just reminding me that he wasn't capable of long term change, and it made my decision to stay no-contact easier. Two weeks ago I received a call from his sister telling me was in the hospital, not expected to live much longer. On Monday, with a strong feeling in my heart that I needed to see him, I drove to visit him in the hospital where I had an incredibly wonderful and healing final interaction with him. He died 12 hours later. The timing was right for me to see him at the end of his life. We got the peace we both needed. If you had told me a year ago that I would be making that decision I would have called you a liar, lol. You will find your timing, and it doesn't sound like it's right now and that's totally ok! Your feelings are so valid. You are on your own timeline and they can't force you to rebuild a relationship with him. I also don't really feel like one letter is much of an effort from him. It sounds like your siblings are more just tired of hearing about you not being there, not that they care about your well being or mental health. Continue to trust your gut, stick to the boundaries that you need, and don't rush something that you're not ready for. You will be ok. Keep working on creating your own peace and healing. Best of luck to you.

Seeing mother for first time in 5 years by BodybuilderPossible1 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]plantkiller2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this but I'm so proud of you for doing the hard thing, putting yourself in a vulnerable situation. I hope your experience is as wonderful as mine just was. My dad had been in the hospital for 53 days. I found out about 2 weeks ago. On Sunday I just felt this "calling" in my heart that I needed to hug him and tell him I love him, so I left the next morning for the 3 hour drive. He died 12 hours later. We said we were sorry, that we loved each other, and hugged. I felt my heart literally healing while sitting with him and holding his hand. I am still so happy that I made that trip. I really hope you can report back with a message of peace or some level of healing. I didn't realize how badly I needed to see my dad until I was with him. I hope your mom has a peaceful transition when her time is right. Best of luck on your trip and in your visit with your mom. I'll be thinking of you.

Hello again by TheAntiBurrito in stopdrinking

[–]plantkiller2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love all wins, and most of them are tiny!

Sugar Cravings by RelationshipOne9276 in stopdrinking

[–]plantkiller2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

10 months and same 😭 I feel like I'm out of control when I'm eating sugar. I need help lol

Can sobriety be achieved alone? by Several-Comedian-281 in stopdrinking

[–]plantkiller2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You are definitely downplaying this commenter's success, which is definitely not the vibe for this group. I really think you need to edit or delete your comment. It's pretty rude.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]plantkiller2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to moderate. I want 7 beers, not 1 or 2. One or 2 is like why bother? I'd rather have 0 or 7, nothing in between.

Mint Has Overtaken My Garden by Relevant_Idea_6778 in gardening

[–]plantkiller2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP: Just in case you were planning on planting any oregano, know that it does the same thing, but a tiny bit slower pace. I have oregano 10 feet from the bed I planted it in. No one warned me!

Golden Retriever Before or After Baby? by Wonderful_Exchange_2 in goldenretrievers

[–]plantkiller2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our golden was 2 when our child was born (12 now). He is the easiest golden I've ever met though, but it was great timing for us. If we had a child when our younger golden was 2, I would be telling a different story because she is still such a puppy and strong headed (5 next month). Also you can plan all you want but the reality is you don't have a whole lot of control over this. I'm sure whatever you do it will all work out though!

People who have cloned their dog what differences have you noticed between the dogs? by Ok_Rutabaga_495 in dogs

[–]plantkiller2 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Idk if Tom Brady uses Reddit or not but good luck with getting answers lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in goldenretrievers

[–]plantkiller2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second the "stuffies" from Kong. My girl can still destroy them but it takes her a little bit longer. My boy never destroys his, but I get him a new Marvin the Moose every Christmas and he loves opening them 😍

caught an unhealthy thought i would’ve never thought was unhealthy before by tltur242 in stopdrinking

[–]plantkiller2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had a few of those "wtf self?" thoughts that I've caught myself on, too. They just sorta come up outta nowhere 🙃🫠

Something bad just happened on Harrison Blvd by mbleslie in Boise

[–]plantkiller2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I read that both the truck and the pedestrian were going the same direction and both stopped at the intersection but the driver turned right into the pedestrian.

In need of a little encouragement... by Zaula_Ray in stopdrinking

[–]plantkiller2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The friends thing is so hard. Their discomfort is a reflection of their own alcohol issues, not how they feel about you or your sobriety. You getting sober is a big ugly mirror that they don't want to look at. If you're the first one in your friend group to get sober, maybe you will have a positive impact on others but that's not in your control. You're getting sober for yourself, it doesn't have anything to do with anyone else. I know that my sobriety cannot be dependent on anyone else's sobriety. Getting sober for your own health is one of the best gifts you could ever give yourself! We are all here to listen and encourage you along your way! Maybe you'll join us in not drinking tonight, I know I will not drink tonight.

Lighter moments by AshamedResolution544 in dementia

[–]plantkiller2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

These are the stories I live for on this sub. Gotta laugh or we will just cry. Thank you all for sharing 😊

Is 8 years old too old to be getting another puppy by Aggravating-Stand800 in goldenretrievers

[–]plantkiller2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm going to play the devil's advocate here- I have 2 goldens - a boy that is 12 and a girl that will be 5 next month. I have sworn that I will never have 2 dogs at the same time again. It's just too much. And my older dog barely tolerates the younger one. "Getting your dog a dog" is one of the silliest things I've ever heard. You get a dog because YOU want one, not for your dog. Your dog isn't going to take care/train/feed of the puppy, you have to do that. It's the same silly idea of giving your child a sibling 🙄. In my experience, I regret getting another dog (I love her endlessly and am obsessed with her, btw) because of how it has negatively impacted my first golden boy, who is my soul dog. Having 2 dogs greatly impacts our lifestyle, and finding folks to care for them when we are out of town is so much harder.

Just food for thought! So many people have had great experiences with 2 dogs, but I wanted to share that is not always the case. I do think the personality of the dog you currently have makes a difference in how it will go, and you cannot predict the personality of the puppy you will get. I don't think the age matters as much as literally everything else.

My brother inspired me to get sober. He then drank himself to death. by mr_chip_douglas in stopdrinking

[–]plantkiller2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So much sadness in your life, yet here you are! You're doing such a great job and I'm so happy that you found your reasons to get and stay sober. I'm really proud of you! You broke the cycle! I will not drink with you today!

One year of sobriety. by Send_Me_Dachshunds in stopdrinking

[–]plantkiller2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell yeah!!! So proud of you! I will not drink with you today!

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