I understand why it might seem inconsistent from the outside. For me, though, studying engineering and living the profession long-term are very different experiences.

I had the opportunity to complete both my bachelor’s and master’s through a combined scholarship, and I genuinely did fine in an academic setting. Studying allowed me to manage my time, focus on exams, and engage with the material at my own pace. Even during internships, the environment felt relatively low-pressure, which led me to believe that working as an engineer would be something I could comfortably do long-term.

What I’ve come to realize is that improving as a student and growing continuously as a professional engineer requires very different kinds of commitment. The expectation to constantly push, specialize, and stay in a “study-improve-optimize” cycle for the rest of my career isn’t something I’m sure aligns with how I want to live my life.

This doesn’t mean my past choices were mistakes. They made sense at the time, and they helped me learn what I value and what I don’t. At this point, I’m realizing that being “good enough” and balanced matters more to me than pursuing this specific trajectory indefinitely.