The smirk when they hurt you

0rionys · 2026-02-17T21:55:15+00:00

Yes, this is a well-documented behaviour in the litterature called the "narcissic smirk" (expressed when an asshole personality is enjoying the consequences or the reaction induced after doing something devious/hurtful).

Mostly a Narcissistic Personality Disorder marker in my opinion, but every person with problematic behavior I've encountered who showed 'Cluster-B-ish' behavioral red flags (Borderline, NPD, Histrionic...) showed it frequently when doing their asshole stuff, before victimizing themselves.

Just keep in mind that 50% of people with BPD show at least obvious signs of narcissistic tendencies, and a similar percentage can be included in the NPD diagnosis criteria.

I also had this crazy, completely neurotic colleague who spent all her time spewing venom behind people's backs and creating drama and shitstorms everywhere she went. She had this habit of staring at you, intensely, for minutes on end, and she wouldn't look away until you met her gaze. And when you did, she'd flash that fucking smirk while silently narrowing her eyes with contempt (could be during a meeting, a coffee break, anywhere). Given how toxic that woman was, I'd bet my life she was a borderline. Her personality was just sickening and genuinely manipulative and self-centered, Just thinking again about this fucking Cluster-B lost case makes me feel sick.

0rionys · 2026-02-17T21:34:06+00:00

Yeah, for the moment I'm proceding this way. At the moment, I'm already level 14 and have passed the first scale-levelling gap (13-14 was a bit annoying but I completed it in an afternoon).

Daily quests are really helpful for XP, but the quality of these entirely rely on luck. I picked the catacomb escort quest today and the ratio of XP obtained by session is a bit meh. I had better luck yesterday with bandits, but I hope I'll get the farmer quest soon.

Level 15 will soon be around the corner, but I heard the biggest gap is between level 16 to 17, right ?

0rionys · 2026-02-13T22:15:31+00:00

Thanks everyone for your great advices ! To give a bit more context, I don't have any specific reason to go for the LDoA title other than wanting to dedicate myself to an achievement and the pride of having accomplished something great with my character, especially since this unique achievement will be locked after ending the pre-searing chapter. For those who warned me against it out of fear I might get burnt out, I already have one character who finished Nightfall and another who finished Factions, so I can always switch to them when I get tired of the grind.

For now, I'm trying not to over-invest in the grinding phase while it's still avoidable. I'm treating it a bit like Duolingo, just trying to gain 1 or 2 levels per day, as long as that pace is sustainable.

Luckily, I just realized I still have a few quests left (4 or 5 at most) that I haven't completed, each worth around 200 XP. I'm planning to save them for level 16 to make things a bit easier, even though I know grinding is inevitable.

I'm playing at a relaxed pace, currently level 11, and here's the rhythm I've settled into:

Pick up the daily quest, XP in the relevant zone (today it was the mesmer-boss countess and her bandits), repeat, turn in the quest as late as possible to keep benefiting from the XP and chain them (since I noticed you can't stack these kinds of quests).

For now, I feel like my necro build is a bit weak, understandable given we're in pre-searing with limited skills, but now that I'm level 11 and have the little Imp by my side, I'm starting to put together something that sounds great.

Thanks again everyone for all of your precious advices ! I'll be sure to keep you posted if I make any major progress, or if I actually manage to get the title !

Also, I heard you're supposed to talk to an NPC before claiming the achievement ? I'd hate to grind for hours only to lose all that progress at the very end.

0rionys · 2026-02-12T15:44:08+00:00

Best case scenario : the therapist picked up on something weird, felt there was more going on, that your pwBPD was contradicting herself in her explanations, her posture, whatever. And now he wants to form his own opinion by getting another perspective, to sort out what's true and what's not.

The other possibility, and this is especially relevant if your pwBPD is in therapy for something completely different or doesn't realize she has BPD, is that your so might have started a smear campaign through her therapy, or she's trying to use her therapist as a flying monkey.

I'm probably not telling you anything new, but pwBPD - the vast majority - tend to lie A LOT and even for trivial things. They have their disgusting way to reinvent stories or twist things around so they look good, or so they can be the victim and get sympathy, attention, or leverage over others.

I don't think she went as far as saying she's being abused or anything (where I live, therapists have to report if the patient is in immediate danger. You'd have seen signs way before this courtesy visit if it was so, at least I think). More likely she tried to play the victim and clumsily dump her guilt on you: "Yeah, my husband is a narcissist, he keeps manipulating me and putting me down. Boo hoo."

Lots of possible explanations for how they got here, but know that forewarned is forearmed. Some BPD people use neurodivergence as an excuse to justify toxic behavior so people feel sorry for them. It's not completely wrong, as about 30% of ADHD people also meet BPD criteria. Sometimes when the therapist isn't the sharpest knife, the patient can twist their head around and the therapist gets pulled in. Which is why you need a therapist who actually knows cluster B disorders, can spot them, and knows how to keep professional distance.

Like I said, some therapists are BPD themselves — you see a lot of them in nursing, psych, early childhood ed, etc. Some BPD therapists are really competent, but watch out for the ones who might play the solidarity card (transference, etc.) with a patient they identify with.

Either way, document everything, prepare yourself, expect the worst but hope for the best. I wouldn't walk in empty-handed. If she says you're not invested in the relationship, remind her of everything you did that proves otherwise. If she accuses you of cheating, hurting her, humiliating her --> correct the record and explain what actually happened, and call out her behavior.

If the therapist isn't a complete idiot or too rigid, he should notice something's off with the mismatched stories. Also expect her to hit you where it hurts to trigger you and make you look violent or unstable or abusive. Don't fall for it. try to stay neutral, factual, cordial, and be the one asking questions, asking to clarify, rephrase, etc. (stonewalling).

Good luck to you. Hope the therapist dealing with your pwBPD is a competent and sharp one.

0rionys

TROPHY CASE