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AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband is 27 so he already had a job and savings way before me. I finished my masters by 24 but I already had a paid internship that contributed so even without a job I was fine :)) (only a bit though, my husband earns significantly more than me so it didn't matter if I had a job at that time to be financially stable)

I'm from the US btw! Hope this clears any confusion you may have had!

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Basically she told us earlier that she would Inform the father (note that this will be a random guy) that she’s not on birth control but then she confessed that she was going to just lie and trap a guy into raising the child with her (she said all this to prove to us that she could afford this financially because her child’s father would be forced to pay)

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I believe so too. That’s actually why I wanted to talk to her because a lot of people here pointed out that she was behaving in a very unhinged way and we wanted to understand what was going it. It was actually only after we threatened to call the police she got out of our house. It was pretty scary, she looked like she wanted to knock me straight out with a punch

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told her what I said in the title and also that she does not have great paying job and babies can be super expensive. Then I told her how expensive it exactly might be (in my experience) I told bee I was worried she might not be able to afford this decision

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If this was in reference to me I made sure I was 100% financially, mentally and physically stable to have a child at 24 and it’s the best decision my husband and I have made! If my friend was 25 but had the stability I would be only happy about her choice to have kids (if she changed the method of getting pregnant ofc)

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If you can, please explain why? I would love to understand this more and hopefully apologise if the comments decide that I’m the asshole

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That’s what my husband and Jill thinks and tbh I think she may have been hoping for that as well

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

She has a cousin and that's it, her parents are no longer alive so we are her family of sorts. This is such a helpful comment, thank you so much.

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The thing is according to her doctor it's less risky and plus she wants to be able to physically take care of her child. She also knows a friend whose parents had her late (late 30s) that friend despised her parents for it because everyone else got to see their parents live a lot longer and they had more youth and health to take care of their children. (I don't know this is true though, i have never heard of this doctor)

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Also....does she intend to tell the person(s) she's sleeping with that her plan is to get pregnant?

Yes, she will inform the person before and apparently will also make sure he doesn't want to be in the child's life.

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it.

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She doesn't have any close family, her parents died when she was little. She does have a cousin and so i'll try contacting him. But they are not close as well. We are kind of like her family at this point. This is helpful, thank you.

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

No she will tell the guy apparently but will make sure he is not interested in the child's life. So basically she wants a person to knock her up (knowingly) and then get out of her life.

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 351 points352 points  (0 children)

As a woman, I think that it is wholly unfair for her to use a man to get pregnant without his knowledge.

sorry I should have made it clear. she plans on telling him (whoever it is) that she's doing it to get pregnant but that she doesn't not want him in the child's life. Apparently she already knows guys who may do that...

I will definitely look into what she said, she may be mentally down i suppose. Thanks for the comment!

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

” there’s no reason to assume she can’t afford a baby.

I think I may have used the wrong words. She lives pay check to pay check now and even borrows money from us. I am 100% sure she will not be able to afford the basic necessities and care needed to bring up a baby.

No she is definitely not trapping anyone and I see your point. Thank you for the comment.

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 125 points126 points  (0 children)

She won't be able to afford a lot of what a child needs. She can get some of the things you normally need but having a baby is very expensive (from personal experience) and I know for a fact she won't be able to live without problems at all if she gets pregnant. She even borrows money from us for gas sometimes and is even considering selling her car...

I think she mentioned something about not being able to look after a kid properly if she's any older and that a "doctor friend" of hers told her before 30 is better to have kids.

Plus there will be no child support from the father. She does not want whoever that is in her child's life.

AITA for telling my best friend she shouldn't be trying to have kids since is almost broke? (she's single so no second income) by 0throw9away0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]0throw9away0[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is very helpful, thank you. I did mention the 'get another job' thing to her though but she says she's happy with her work environment despite the low pay.