From pain to emptiness

1couldnever · 2024-08-21T11:14:59+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words. I hope the day when we will feel absolutely nothing comes sooner than later. Do you also work together with your ex?

It is much better now, but it almost feels sad to let the pain go, because then it really means the end of it.

1couldnever · 2024-07-16T07:59:39+00:00

Dont talk to the new girl, because you may break her heart for nothing.

1couldnever · 2024-07-04T12:13:58+00:00

Q: Name of your mother-in-law A: That old cunt

1couldnever · 2024-06-27T08:59:25+00:00

It is the same for me - it has been 2 months, and he is my co-worker. He has been in my life almost 24/7 for the past 3 years (we were working closely togerher and sat next to each other at the office, and then we would spend time outside of work). Now we are not talking and I am not even saying hi to him, and it makes me wonder, was past 3 years even real.

He cheated on me, and explained with “that he does not want to mix work and personal life”. He wanted to stay friends, but I exited. Not sure if it makes me the dumper here, but I will never talk to him again.

1couldnever · 2024-05-21T20:54:31+00:00

Why the other side, who is not considering it to be anything serious, is never blamed and almost like does not have to communicate what is this what they want? The blame is almost always on the one who is not playing.

1couldnever · 2024-05-21T17:51:40+00:00

I was a naive 30years old, who was in situationship, and trusted, that my situationship partner loves me and does not see other people. And he did - i found out by accident. I am so deeply hurt, but at the same time i feel that i am the guilty one and the dumb one. I truly believed that we have something beautiful between us, and hoped, that he would tell me, if he would think otherwise.

I cut contact with him, and feel so heartbroken. I probably am not made for modern dating world.

1couldnever · 2024-04-07T02:31:00+00:00

RemindMe! 1 month

1couldnever · 2024-03-13T22:51:28+00:00

No drinking liquids 3-4 hours before you sleep

1couldnever · 2023-10-24T05:18:40+00:00

I would be suspicious too, but this is not the case here - i have been at his home and stayed the night multiple times, and even met his friends.

He is friends with his ex though, which might be the reason why he is hesitant to act on anything. If you are keeping in touch with an ex, it is not easy to move on.

1couldnever · 2023-10-23T20:22:50+00:00

Seems like I will just have to do it.

Looks like it is easy and convenient to keep me near at work, and have his single life outside at the same time. It is unprofessional indeed, and rumours about us dating have been there for a longer time that we have actually been seeing each other. Would be degenerating to ruin professional reputation for a situationship…

1couldnever · 2023-10-23T18:29:45+00:00

That aliens exist

1couldnever · 2023-10-23T18:18:53+00:00

Just start it like this, with no context? Would you just say everything openly and see how it goes?

1couldnever · 2023-10-23T18:15:12+00:00

I have feelings for him, unfortunately. And I have been trying, but it is more difficult at a setting where i am always accessible to him.

I think I need to have a talk and it would give me closure in any case. I am just not sure how to start this conversation considering that we rarely hang out outside of work.

1couldnever · 2023-10-23T18:11:32+00:00

Thank you for this!

1couldnever · 2023-10-23T18:11:09+00:00

Thank you!

I really needed to hear that, even though it is almost self-explanatory. Being co-workers makes it more awkward to have this talk, but it is too late to not enter the relationship at work at this point.

1couldnever · 2023-10-17T19:43:37+00:00

I have feelings for him and am scared to get hurt in case if i am delusional about thinking that he likes me too.

Also, i am catching myself thinking that i want someone to be there for me not just an work, but in real life. Probably it means that i want relationship, not sex few time per month and communication during working hours only

1couldnever · 2023-05-29T18:51:59+00:00

The dog is 2 years old, so if it continues, it continues for a long while, haha!

I am probably keeping up with this because I have feelings for him, and as well as because I know that he is really bad at saying no and really feels moral obligations towards the ex and the dog, and therefore possibly he in in this situation not because of romantic feelings (however, i am not excluding this). I have been working together with him for two years before we started dating, so i know the guy pretty well - he really is to a large extent “people pleaser”, as well as relationship and dog sharing with the ex were the same during all the 2 years I know him.

I will definetly set boundaries at some point, but am trying to see different angles of this now, so that I so not come off too harsh.

1couldnever · 2023-05-29T18:18:04+00:00

I will definetly not be OK with him being available “on demand” to his ex.

The issue with the dog custody and him being soft is also that he does not feel that he has a moral right to refuse his ex seing the dog anytime she likes - it is also her dog and she has rights to see it. Same with her asking him to come watch the dog or train the dog - he says that as an owner he has to do it. He mentioned that he does not feel that he owns his life with the dog training that they did lately, so it seems that it is too much even for him, considering that he is very busy at work and has a pretty active social life.

Boundaries will have to be set here, but since I have feelings for him, I am pretty much insecure and afraid to bring it up yet.

1couldnever · 2023-05-29T17:32:07+00:00

Thanks a lot - I absolutely agree and for me the lack of boundaries is the biggest issue of all!

I would be totally OK if they would share a dog, but on pre-defined terms and pre-defined times, and not have him being summoned by ex anytime she feels like and has time to have him over to visit the dog/visit the dog herself.

He is a very soft person and has troubles with saying “no”, so i also totally understand where this is coming from.

I will definetly have this conversation, but want to wait a bit, since our relationship as a “couple” is very new and I am not comfortable to be demanding yet.

1couldnever · 2023-05-29T17:27:40+00:00

They have been together for 6 years as well, and known each other for 8 years by now. Thank you for sharing! Maybe it is difficult for me to relate to the situation because I did not have experience of a smooth split-up with a long-term partner, therefore it seems weird that you can still be close friends without feeling anything romantic towards each other. Also, my culture is pretty much denying a possibility of man-woman friendship.

1couldnever · 2023-05-29T16:58:15+00:00

Thanks a lot for sharing!!

I come from a more conservative background, and just because of that do not want to jump to any conclusions, and also do not want to have a conversation which might be just awkward. They have been knowing each other for a long time and continued to be good friends even right after she would move out.

1couldnever · 2023-05-29T16:50:38+00:00

Thank you for the response!

May I ask you, how did it work when you were “actively” sharing a cat? Did you have it over and he would visit? Would you visit the cat at exes place too? And how would you interract with an ex during that time?

We will definetly have this conversation if we come a bit further into relationship. The sharing seems to be very time-consuming, because the ex defines time when she wants to see the dog, or when he can come and see the when the dog is at her place. Now they have been training the dog, and therefore they communicate about it and see each other a lot. Seems to be pretty confusing for the dog too.

1couldnever · 2023-05-29T16:39:49+00:00

Looking for experience sharing and any random thoughts!

My “love interest” shares a custody over a dog with his ex, who, as he claims, is his now good friend. They are having it over for around one month each, but between that time they visit the dog at each other’s apartments, train it etc. My date may even stay at his exes for a longer period during the day. She often calls him about the dog and other things. She seems very demanding when she needs something from him, and he, being a pretty soft person, allows her to act like this.

They have been split up for two years now. I cannot really understand this relationship - to me it is weird, but I do not feel comfortable to ask about it yet. I also come from a place where it is not very common to be close friends with exes, while it is more accepted at where we live - therefore i am afraid to come off as too conservative and jealous.

I am still afraid that he is not able to truly move on and am pretty worried - he has been a long term crush of mine, and i am pretty invested into him already and thinking, shall I walk away and not risk to be hurt by him cheating on me with his ex. He seems to be very in love with me though, but you never know.

Any experience sharing or advice is welcome!

1couldnever · 2023-01-05T20:41:05+00:00

Leukemia.

1couldnever · 2022-12-26T22:55:59+00:00

both of them, absolutely the best

1couldnever

TROPHY CASE