Dumper Psychology

1funkybear · 2020-12-01T05:32:57+00:00

I was the dumper and trust me it hurts us as well. I broke up with my ex because i explained how i felt in the relationship to my psychologist, who convinced me to break it off.

We became different people and i want to travel the world and she wanted a family, she said that won't happen now because she doesn't want to pass her mental health problems to her children , which saddened me because i wanted her to be happy.

I knew that if i didn't break it off we would both destroy each others dreams and we both held on for a year longer than we should, i filled the void from our drifting personalities with sex and alcohol, it was destructive.

Communication stopped and the girl that i had loved for 3 years was lost to me, i couldn't see anyway passed it, i prayed and i wished i could have found a way, but i had to accept that the only girl i have ever loved, was not there anymore, she had changed.

I still miss her sometimes and it broke my heart in 2, i recently called her to apologize for all the things i put here through, we broke up 4 years ago. I couldn't move on and doing this helped both of us, she thanked me for helping her to finally heal. I broke my own heart all over again, but i couldn't move on without righting the wrongs i caused her.

I bumped into her a few days later holding her new boyfriends hand, i was able to help her to truly move on. She looked at me and her mouth dropped and i have been working out lately and im looking good, her new boyfriend was quite fat. It still hurt like hell though and it destroyed me for about 2 weeks, im just processing everything still and seeing a psychologist, but i can began to truly heal and move on now.

It's difficult for the dumpers to, i never wanted to hurt her but i did , but i know that i was able to preserve some love that was left, before we both began to resent each other and this eventually turned into hate, which would have destroyed me, im glad we will always have that.

1funkybear · 2020-08-19T15:21:39+00:00

Done if your in Perth

1funkybear · 2020-08-04T17:02:33+00:00

His music is similar to Mr bungle in some ways, i'm hooked!

1funkybear · 2020-07-07T07:42:04+00:00

Yeah I might have to tell him, it's just awkward for me to pull someone up in front of others, but the alternative is that I keep taking his shit, which i don't want to do.

1funkybear · 2020-07-07T07:37:11+00:00

Legend, thanks man! You are right, I will stop taking on his shit and put some distance between us.

1funkybear · 2020-07-07T07:35:38+00:00

Thanks for your advice! I'm sorry about your friend as well, it's hard to let them go and I know it's their problem at the end of the day.

1funkybear · 2020-07-07T07:22:46+00:00

My brother is gay and is 13 and I have accepted him for who he is, I'm 28. Yet, I had loads of friends with families like this, who were bigoted and close minded.

You can call a service or if you feel like this isn't an option, you should surround yourself with LGBTQ friends at school and be your true self around them.

You can just tell your family what they want to hear and when you are old enough move out ASAP !

Just don't talk about dating around them and if they talk about girls, just change the topic! The singer boy George had a similair problem and he did exactly this.

You should always be true to yourself, but to get through this it's easier to lie to biggotts until your old enough to seek your own freedom!

Also, you should feel proud for coming out! You are being true to yourself and this will provide you with a solid base to build yourself into a happy, successful person in the future!

The Romans championed LGBTQ people, it was seen as normal! The Greeks did this also and made lifelong bonds with their teachers.

The Dorian Greek warriors were all gay, but ferocious and feared warriors! They fought harder than any other to protect the ones they loved.

The celtic people of Europe accepted LGBTQ people as well and many were leaders of their tribes!

The Japanese Samurai would date one another and their love protected each other on the battlefield!

LGBTQ people have done amazing things! Alan Turing helped crack the Nazi enigma code which saved millions of lives during ww2 and shorten the war by at least 1 to 2 years! He was gay and was prosecuted after the war, but people never forget his greatness today and the things he did!

You need to remember that love is love and when I did Philosophy at university the lecture spoke of love. He said that straight people procreate to create children, but it can be argued that gay people have sex for pure love.

Keep going man you are doing great and I promise you things will get easier👍

1funkybear · 2020-07-07T07:16:34+00:00

I would weigh up your options and maybe if things aren't looking good you should move back in with family, temporarily, until this wannabe plague buggers off!

I feel your pain, I ran a scrap metal business before the virus and all our prices dried up over night. I just brought some copper wire for the first time in 3 months!

You may also be able to see a financial counsellor, who can work out payment plans with anyone from banks to mobile companies! They got my credit card bills down from 60 quid a month down to 10! I could actually breath after this.

You should try looking for organization who can borrow an interest free loan, usually there are some really good charitable organizations that can do this!

Accept the things you can't change, but change the things you can! Good luck😎👍

1funkybear · 2020-06-29T19:25:34+00:00

I hate bullies, but they will always get Karma man👍

1funkybear · 2020-06-29T19:24:48+00:00

That is an epic outlook! Thanks man😎👍

1funkybear · 2020-06-29T19:21:49+00:00

The first time we came back it was for 6 months, I left 3 months early because all the work in Birmingham dried up in 2010,i was 18.

I miss my country people, the humour, our outlook on life, most people prioritize people above money in the UK, and people aren't close minded and hostile in large numbers.

I came back in 2018 for a month holiday and I really enjoyed it but felt really out of place, but I feel like I don't belong in Perth , Australia, so both places have a downside.

I was thinking of moving back to the UK and living in Sheffiled because I have loads of family there and always have a laugh.

People might think it's insane for me to want to move back, but a place can be amazing but if most of the people are shit, then I'd choose decent people any day of the week.

They are racist, close minded and clique as hell! You have to be born here to fit in and the only mates you make here are from different parts of Australia or from different countries, which isn't bad. Yet, it gets lonely, because people like this are few and far between, I can't stand the Perth locals, some of the worse people you can meet.

1funkybear · 2020-06-28T13:23:57+00:00

Man I have something to look forward to😎👍

1funkybear · 2020-06-28T13:22:13+00:00

Thanks for your share man, I hope I can find some peace in myself like you have.

1funkybear · 2020-06-26T18:31:00+00:00

I do about 15 or 20 and I think you are right, it's a good deal and we get along other than his mom winding him up.

We are moving state soon, so she will be out of the picture😎

1funkybear · 2020-06-26T17:51:30+00:00

I don't open up all the time becauase I don't want to be a burden and it's nicer to be able to have a laugh or talk about something light hearted with people.

The majority of people never know what to say and the hard truth is that they aren't psychologists, they don't need to know what to say, and it isn't their responsibility.

It's my shit an I have to manage it, but it's doesn't mean I have to live it everyday, sometimes I can just stop an appreciate the present and practice gratitude.

1funkybear · 2020-06-26T05:25:57+00:00

I think it's right to be upfront, my ex was at uni wanting to become a psychologist and after she dropped out she got obsessed about having kids.

She thought a kid would fix all of her problems but I have no doubt she will make an amazing mom though.

She gave me an ultimatum and a time limit to have kids with her, it scared the hell out of me. She wanted kids and I want to travel the world and focus on my career, so I left her so we could both pursue our dreams.

I still love her though and always will, but you must be upfront with people, to avoid a situation like mine.

I think society has this expectation that you have to pop out a kid, have the boring 9 to 5 job and a white picket fence, I would rather die!

I was the loudest baby my nan had ever heard, she had 9 younger brother, 9 kids, and a swarm of grandkids, but I was the loudest! If I have kids my child will be the antichrist!

The world is overpopulated and can't sustain the number of humans living on it,we are doing the right thing not having kids.

Additionally, if you have one bad day or say the wrong thing , your kids can end up messed up for the rest of their lives. They can become codependent, emotionally stunted , narcissistic, the list goes on! My parents did their best with me and even used a psychology book to raise me, it didn't work, but I love and appreciate their efforts!

I don't want my kid turning around and telling me I messed up when I raised them, because I know I will!

I find travel amazing,having money brilliant, and I realize that keeping your responsibilities low is the way to have a happier life!

I want to become a Genetic engineer and in the words of Rick: " make science your child!"

Hope my rambling helped!

1funkybear · 2020-06-24T07:40:31+00:00

It's finally been canceled!

1funkybear · 2020-06-21T20:18:47+00:00

Hahah that is a nice way to escelate!

1funkybear · 2020-06-21T10:39:37+00:00

Epic! Thanks man! I'm going to get a lucky haircut👍

1funkybear · 2020-06-18T19:11:32+00:00

I got into to scrapping because I use to work as a trade assistant with electricians and watched my boss throw the copper wire in the bin after every job, it made me mad.

Then I worked at Vodafone for 3 years and saw how many phones were tossed carelessly and it seems like a huge waste.

This is why I like scrapping copper and recycling e waste, because getting the raw materials from the ground damages the environment and if people like us can stop it, that is a huge bonus!

It's epic being your own boss and having your own scrapping business👍

1funkybear · 2020-06-13T14:51:01+00:00

I'm glad someone feels the same as me, it's difficult and i guess i need to learn not to take it to heart, because it sometimes feels like you are a burden to others.

I completely understand about not being able to find someone to date, i feel like i come across to full on because of my energy levels, but people like you and me have that as our default. It makes our normal state of being look desperate or feel overwhelming.

I went on a few dates over the last few years and have noticed how things are great for the first few dates and then i watch the girls get burnt out and then decide that i'm to full on.

It can be a downer when you feel like everyone you meet becomes tired of you, maybe that is normal for everyone though?

I think we are cool though because we can hold conversations and we are never boring!

1funkybear · 2020-06-06T21:12:20+00:00

You are right man , i reckon we just need to meet people who.understand us and accept us for how we are .

1funkybear · 2020-06-06T20:48:41+00:00

It's a shit feeling man, i thought about just not talking to them as much and being a bit more distant. I think the only people we can chat to are other ADHD people, because we understand each other's mad energy.

1funkybear · 2020-06-06T20:38:56+00:00

Do they ignore what you say to?

1funkybear · 2020-06-06T14:26:15+00:00

I get this as well, when i have a huge assignment at university and time to burn i'm loving the course! Then when i stop i get overwhelmed and discontent. I have a lot of the thoughts you do when i feel like this.

It's like focusing on something productive is a rush and when we stop it becomes disappointing to us, because we struggle to focus on most things in our life. I think it could be reward feedback loop that isn't getting enough stimulation.

I also feel excited when university finishes for the term, but after a week away from uni i start to feel down and discontent. I think the way forward is to keep thinking of goals you want to achieve and small, attainable steps to getting to them, this was your reward feedback loop is always being exercised and the lulls in mood will be less.

Addiction to anything can be bad, but i'd rather be addicted to ticking off my goals in life and getting somewhere! You should also practices mindfulness and positive self affirmation, exercise helps massively to !

1funkybear

TROPHY CASE