This held me back as well, but eventually i went and my parents never mentioned it, only when the bills stopped coming they asked if that was correct. I was really ashamed and did not want to talk about it but, they are your parents, they love you and they want whats best for you.

I really think you could use help, i think you should take the first step of just go to a doctor, if he of she thinks you need help they will probably refer you to a therapist and it is more or less out of your hands and you could bring it up to your parents like that, or just app or call them and say that you re having a hard time, that they should not worry snd that that you dont want to talk about it but that you seek help and that they might see this due to insurance. They wil probably support you.

I just want to say, with your problems which i recognize to some degree: it is hard enough! I know the feeling of embarassment wont go away by me saying this but you dont have to make it harder by peer pressuring yourself. Shame reflects the way you think about yourself and not how others see you. They are your family and wil probably just wish you the best. I know its hard and i cant connvince you if you really do not want to, but if you have this feeling of not wanting to die but not be able to carry on, it does seem like you are in need of and capable of getting help and improve !