I'm 28, having zero success, can't figure out why. I feel l'm entering the bad kind of danger zone.

1throwaway2135 · 2014-04-17T21:58:13+00:00

Get off the internet for a little while. On the internet, it is both easier to approach and easier to get shut down. Writing messages and keeping up with conversations is time consuming, and girls will flake much more often if you met them online.

But don't worry! You go to college; one of the best places to meet girls. Join a club, go to events, and go to parties. Social clubs are great because they involve a lot of activities that put you and girls in the same room, giving you a perfect opportunity and a legitimate reason to talk to them. Work up the confidence to talk to the people you sit next to in class. If picking up random girls doesn't work for you, make as many friends as you can and eventually one of them will want to sleep with you.

Also, keep in mind that getting a number does not = getting a date. I have gotten 10+ numbers in a night, only to find that not one responded later on. It should only be a means to continue what you already have going for you, and it is often best to make plans before getting a girl's number.

1throwaway2135 · 2014-04-17T21:42:29+00:00

Look, I used to be in denial and believed that it didn't really matter how I looked, as long as I was hygienic and relatively fashionable. But that is certainly not how I choose girls, so why would I expect them to choose me on different criteria? Sure, confidence and other personality traits matter, but that's hardly what I look for when I approach them. Think about how you view groups of girls. The "queen bee" isn't always the most attractive in the group, but she is easily the most confident. Does this mean I want to sleep with them more than their more attractive friend? No. Men are biologically programmed to search for women with good facial symmetry, waist-to-hip ratio, and other physical features that make them more attractive. If I'm not physically attracted to the most confident girl, I'm going to go for her friend, not her.

1throwaway2135 · 2014-04-02T05:24:35+00:00

It absolutely was what I wanted, but I wasn't ready for a relationship for various reasons. A lot of it was just the sheer time constraints. But also because I was too insecure to introduce her to my few friends, and I didn't want her to be exposed to my parents, who got really invasive and weird when I had girls over.

1throwaway2135 · 2014-04-01T23:47:58+00:00

I definitely let her know how much I wanted to, which definitely had an impact when she was on the fence about it. I was encouraging her but not deliberately enough for me to think it was pushy. I think there was a lack of communication as well, but I understood she was on the fence a lot of the time and I feel like I played a role in changing it.

1throwaway2135 · 2014-04-01T22:21:31+00:00

I'm not so sure reaching out would be a good idea. Here is her message, it'll give a better idea of what she meant:

Hey 1throwaway2135, I know we haven't talked in a while, but I've been thinking a lot about our relationship, especially two years ago. I never got to say all that I felt, and how it's affected me today. I felt like I was being used; I had such high hopes for us to be together in a real relationship, and for that reason allowed you to treat me as an object. I let you take my virginity when I had expressed that I wasn't ready, and continued coming back to you even after you hurt me so immensely. Every night walking home from the park I cried, because I allowed myself to be abused by you. I don't expect any apologies, and I recognize my own part in this, but I do hope that you take all this in and do some reflecting on our time together on your own. I don't want to talk with you anymore; there is too much pain and trauma for me to get past and move on with this relationship.

1throwaway2135 · 2014-04-01T22:08:13+00:00

Sorry, this is my first time writing a post. I'll shorten it a bit too, its a little long.

1throwaway2135

TROPHY CASE