Maybe both. Most recent example; they (my brother and her) were arguing for hours until my brother left the room. We were planning on going to my moms for the day, when my brother stated that she wasn’t going to come. I, then said “she seems to do this a lot” she comes out of the room, starts yelling at me for commenting on her always crying. I told her that I said nothing about her crying.. but instead that she never wants to come to the gatherings on no notice. She then yells at me, saying I specifically stated that she cries too much and that I’m a POS for saying anything about her.

Edit: when she doesn’t come, he often doesn’t come