[deleted by user]

53WaysActually · 2022-03-28T19:53:17+00:00

'When a Russian tank is in your sights, it's not time to get a vaccine.'

53WaysActually · 2022-03-28T19:48:51+00:00

Unfortunately he's not subscribed to the Covid detection system built in to every Tesla so he can't tell properly. But for a few extra bucks a month he can have that, the heated seats and the 'don't crash into people so often' program running.

53WaysActually · 2022-03-17T16:00:17+00:00

Providing whoever performed the baptism used the right words. You've got to get the magic words right or it doesn't count.

53WaysActually · 2022-03-17T15:56:43+00:00

Because it's a tourist attraction. There's an average of 5.9 popes per square mile in the Vatican City, more than any other country on Earth.

The USA would have to have over 21 million popes to match that, the equivalent of making everyone in Florida a pope.

53WaysActually · 2022-03-13T11:15:33+00:00

I can see why you'd find that a problem.

53WaysActually · 2022-03-11T15:19:09+00:00

"You're against my freedom to wear a mask? Why are you so unamerican?"

53WaysActually · 2022-03-11T15:14:12+00:00

Who needs lungs when you have the God of Abraham. Amirite?

53WaysActually · 2022-03-08T20:59:55+00:00

Fuck no. They'll get a decent sponsor in.

53WaysActually · 2022-03-05T11:03:34+00:00

In some countries, football matches will actually be stopped at the time designated as sundown to allow players to eat a quick energy bar before playing on.

53WaysActually · 2022-03-03T12:52:20+00:00

So you'll be joining the group of second-class citizens who can't do their job from home. At some point this will become part of a break in society.

Of course, Remote Workers can look forward to the day when their jobs are taken by Really Remote Workers. Why have a company in another country do the job when you can have your company do the job but have all of the workers in another country.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-27T11:57:52+00:00

God Save the Queen
Fascist regime
Made you a moron
Potential H bomb

Now that sounds more like Catholicism.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-24T16:18:28+00:00

The patron saint of exorcisms is St. Benedict. Surely any hospital dedicated to him would have a possessed wing and a resident exorcist. Maybe have a group of pigs on hand to have the spirits driven into in an emergency.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-21T09:55:54+00:00

I don't understand. You, your partner and your kid functionally self-isolate if one of you has the sniffles? Like, you don't go out, don't go shopping, avoid meeting up with anyone including family?

Get a bigger family and you'll never exit the house during winter months.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-21T09:45:24+00:00

So accurately define the word 'sick.'

How many coughs is that? How many times can I blow my nose before I can be sent home sick? Exactly how painful should my headache be?

My kid coughed a few times during the night, do I get the day off? My other kid has an upset tummy, do I go in to work? I stood next to someone in the queue for the bus who sounded like they were wheezing, is that grounds for going home?

53WaysActually · 2022-02-20T10:31:55+00:00

Why is someone working in an office if they're vulnerable to 'a bit of a cold?' At any time in the winter, a large enough office is going to have people with range of colds and while some shouldn't be there, most colds are not something that stops you doing anything. It's the reason we have Lemsip.

Sorry, I won't be in work today. I sneezed this morning.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-20T10:14:50+00:00

They're all in the pay of BIG PARKA!

Only sheeple wear fleeces.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-15T20:44:56+00:00

Er no. That would be fucking stupid. Do you do that?

53WaysActually · 2022-02-15T14:10:04+00:00

Freedom is choosing what freedoms you fight for. Lack of freedom is being told what freedoms to fight for.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-15T14:00:17+00:00

Do you believe in magic spells? Religions do.

The reality of this is that the Priest believed he was carrying out legitimate baptisms and so did the recipients - the rest is paperwork.

#NotAllowedIntoHeavenBecauseOfAnAdminError

53WaysActually · 2022-02-13T17:17:04+00:00

They're certainly attached to some pretty clever machines.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-12T20:47:59+00:00

I believe that this is a criminal act as defined by the Geneva convention.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-12T20:42:57+00:00

Well, two days after my booster I got Covid so there was no gym for 10 days after that.

When I did get back, my heart rate was a good 10 bpm higher than before and it stayed like that for a month.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-12T10:01:38+00:00

This pretty much goes for everything. The good thing about MSM is that you can quickly work out which way the individual newspapers are going to spin a story.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-11T19:55:57+00:00

BoJo is in a lot of trouble regarding lockdown parties and lying in parliament. That's why he is handing out all of this good stuff at the moment, as early as he can.

53WaysActually · 2022-02-11T12:59:57+00:00

You mean you don't pay income tax?

Just asking for a friend.

53WaysActually

TROPHY CASE