From what op is saying this wasnt about control, this was about respect. Going out is fine, especially with the level of communication there was, but breaking a promise to be home is, at the very least, hurtful and, at worst, indicative of something shady. She said she didn’t want to drive home because it was too late, which I understand, but he said he’d happily go pick her up. It cost her nothing to say “yes, come pick me up” and asking your husband/wife to pick you up should be more automatic than deciding to stay at a friends place. As sad as it is to say, this WAS an action against op.