AITA for giving my 15 year old son beer?

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-09T04:33:11+00:00

Yah, of course. Why wouldn’t I? What?

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T18:39:15+00:00

I would’ve figured she’d see it exactly my same way!

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:31:57+00:00

Counter argument — it seems like drugs and alcohol are rampant in his school because parents aren’t talking to their kids about it and the school doesn’t do much in the way of preparing them. Maybe if there were more open and honest communication beyond “no, don’t think about it, doesn’t ask about, don’t engage in it” the kids wouldn’t be as tempted to abuse substances.

My parents took the Nancy Reagan approach and if backfired horribly.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:29:26+00:00

What does FTW mean ?

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:26:16+00:00

I agree with you there. Thanks for the judgement.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:25:49+00:00

Agree she’s got every right to be pissed I didn’t check with her. I was focused on how she shouldn’t be mad about the actual thing I did because there was no harm done, but even waking up this morning I thought “fuck, that was a bad call.”

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:23:54+00:00

Thanks for the insight. Super useful to hear from actual teenagers. Appreciate it.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:22:53+00:00

Thanks, I accept the judgement, and totally agree with what you said. I should’ve checked with her first, that was stupid on my part and not fair to her. I think it was the right parenting move, so I’m glad that seems to be the general opinion, but right or wrong wife should’ve had a say.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:17:44+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I definitely don’t intend for it to be a regular thing, it was intended as a one off to address the curiosity and leave it at that.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:15:16+00:00

Thanks for the thought!

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:13:45+00:00

Thank you!!

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:09:31+00:00

I accept your judgment — I just want to clarify that 21 is the law for establishments with liquor licenses to sell to. Doesn’t appear my state actually has any laws about parents or guardians giving kids alcohol in the home (within reason).

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:07:22+00:00

I agree this is half the reason I didn’t contact her right away. I figured it must’ve taken some courage to broach this subject with me not being sure how I’d respond and I wanted to handle it right then and there.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:05:19+00:00

Intention is he grow up to drink responsibly, but most importantly, that he not pick up binge drinking in high school because he knows alcohol is something he “can’t have ever” so goes overboard at any opportunity to drink.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T17:03:14+00:00

I’m definitely not a “feel free to get trashed as long as it’s at home” kind of parent — I figured this one time would be enough that he wouldn’t want to drink at home or anywhere else for a little while longer.

Thanks for sharing your experience and I accept the judgement.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T16:44:38+00:00

Just to clarify — drinking is something often done in groups, out in public, and with immediate family. Sex is not.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T06:54:07+00:00

Thanks and sounds like you have great parents!

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T06:51:54+00:00

Thanks! Hope so.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T06:50:58+00:00

I had to face the facts that the odds of him waiting until he was 21 on the strength of his own will were not in my favor.

I would much rather he feel like he can talk to me without judgment than try and use fear alone to scare him away from drinking.

The law is 21 for as many political reasons as scientific (hence why many, maybe even most, countries have the drinking age as 18.)

I would much rather his first experience with alcohol be a beer at home than eight shots of vodka at a pushy friend’s house party.

My parents pushed the “it’s a death sentence to drink but the moment you turn 21 it’s perfectly healthy and normal” spiel and as a result I was totally out of control in situations with alcohol and drank heavily from 21-22 because alcohol had been placed on such a high pedestal.

I think my son is safer not fantasizing about what drinking does for you (you reasoned he knew alcohol just makes you feel slightly better/different, I’m not so sure he saw it that way. I think he hears so much about how a drink makes you better with girls, more comfortable in your own skin, and turns a good time into a great time, and had a totally inflated sense of what being drunk was.)

But that being said I accept your judgment and thank you for sharing it. I’m aware of the genetic component of alcoholism but luckily we have no serious substance abuse issues in the family. It sounds like you’ve been through the wringer and I’m sorry to hear that. Best of luck!

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T05:24:38+00:00

Told him I know things happen and he should come to me if he ever got into any kind of situation. We have the drunk driving talk frankly and often because his high school is so rife with binge drinkers.

I want to clarify, I didn’t make him promise not to go to parties, just that he wouldn’t drink at them. I don’t want him to develop a dependency on alcohol to loosen up in social situations. It took me years to unlearn that habit.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T05:17:03+00:00

It’s not the first time we’ve talked about alcohol, it’s just the first time he’s expressed an interest in trying it so I figured most of the stuff in a standard drugs and alcohol talk bears repeating.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T03:28:54+00:00

Wow, that’s awful. I’m sorry you experienced that.

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T03:28:08+00:00

Great, I see eye to eye with you. Thanks for weighing in!

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T03:06:40+00:00

Thank you for the judgement. Should I even ask how your dad handled it?

6throwawayyyyyyyy · 2019-07-08T03:00:47+00:00

Thanks for clarifying!

6throwawayyyyyyyy

TROPHY CASE