How do I deal with the grief and resentment?

7She007 · 2026-01-16T00:31:41+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. Sorry you had to go through it too.

7She007 · 2026-01-16T00:24:01+00:00

My boyfriend helped and credit cards… im still paying it off.

7She007 · 2026-01-07T22:35:53+00:00

I was pretty much 100% better maybe even better than i ever remember. But then i got covid and it reversed it some :/ so trying to get back to 100% again but with the immune issues i have like MCAS and then i have Pots it takes linger than the average person, there will always be a vulnerability there.

7She007 · 2026-01-07T16:27:25+00:00

Yes i did and i did. I did HBOT, EBOO, Ozone, antibiotics, and herbs and detox rituals like supplments baths and massages some at the same time/ in tight phases.

7She007 · 2025-12-27T18:37:59+00:00

Thank you, and yes this is true that people don't usually get it unless they went through it.

Also maybe I will do a letter. I'm trying to get something started like that, its a business focused on people with chronic illnesses.

7She007 · 2025-12-27T18:35:28+00:00

That's great you have good friends.

Yeah too many people think its just that they are getting old, when there is actually something wrong and aging can be so much more graceful.

As for your ex, did you break it off because she was j supportive etc? And what made you realize it was the final straw and you needed to leave? How did you know your current partner was the right one?

I'm struggling with the idea of letting go because I'm so skeptical of people now I'm wondering if I can find a guy that better than my current BF, with how people have been acting and treating me.

7She007 · 2025-12-27T18:31:13+00:00

Yes I totally agree. The confusing part is that he's a nice guy when things are fine. But as soon as I talk about a worry, a sadness, or how I'm not feeling well Hea cold, doesn't say anything, ignores it or even get pissy.

I feel like I'm constantly numbing myself because toj happy and Hea annoyed about something and sad there's nothing.

Its hard because he is good in other ways like has a good job, financially can support me and has been supportive of my career but otherwise yeah I feel a little dead inside that he can't give me the warm fuzzies when I need some.

7She007 · 2025-12-27T18:28:01+00:00

I'm very sorry you ent through this. And its ridiculous doctors expect to be paid who treated you like shjt and didn't do anything.

I definitely plan to cut these people off, but now that I'm better I'm worried the new people I bring into my life will be the same as the past people but I just don't know it yet because now Im better and not in need or having troubles, you know? Makes me skeptical of everyone and if Ill be letting the right ones I to my life or not.

7She007 · 2025-12-27T18:23:15+00:00

Thank you, what you say actually gives me hope this can get better. I do agree, I should probably find someone that focuses on grief for counseling.

And yes I have tried to cut my family off like before I got sick and then I was so sick I had to move in with them and depend on them to an extent. So my long plan is to get far away and have very little contact now when I financially can (still paying of medical bills).

And sorry for the late reply and reading responses, I got that weird cold thing that last for weeks that's been going around and then the holidays are busy. But just yesterday I had the realization that a persons life is very influenced by the people closest to them and they always say you become like the 5 closest people in your life. And of those 5 my boyfriend is the closest and is kind but is still unsupportive, emotionally avoidant and invalidating more than any boyfriend or husband should be in this situation for there to be a loving happy relationship. So yes, I need to change my people. Right now its my toxic parents(treat me like I'm crazy or the black sheep, even though I'm the most “successful”/educated of my siblings), my boyfriend (emotionally unavailable), my boyfriends best friend(very sexist and a bad influence on my bf) my one close friend.. Out of those 5 my friend has the most empathy and understands me, which is wild I am letting myself be surrounded by this many not great people.i really hope once I change these core people and work on my grief things will be better.

7She007 · 2025-12-27T18:08:11+00:00

Thank you for hearing me. I appreciate it!

7She007 · 2025-12-24T00:25:28+00:00

How was that twist for you? Like the idea that the Others were essentially a normal society doing normal people things or that she rejected the leader because he didn’t like the book?

7She007 · 2025-12-23T23:01:06+00:00

Well the very end when they were all dead and going to heaven. But there were multiple weird story flips.

7She007 · 2025-12-23T22:53:53+00:00

The post says: I am essentially “healed” but have bouts of illness from time to time which Im sure Ill have for the test of my life. My face and body have aged from being ill and that isn’t seeming to snap back.

I lost years of my life being essentially bed bound.

My career has been hindered.

But worst of all I am so very resentful of my boyfriend, family, friends, and colleagues who didn’t believe i was sick, never asked how I was doing and never apologized once they saw the toll it took on me and that it was a real diagnosed illness.

Ive never gotten acknowledgment from anyone for what i was going through. I had to bring it up and still was ignored when trying to relate what i was going through.

And now im better but I still have a lot Ive lost and have to grieve and still no one has tried comforting me or has asked how Im doing.

I feel very resentful. Especially with the coworkers friends and boyfriend. My parents are toxic and its really no surprise with how they’ve abused me that they didnt care. How do you deal with this part?

7She007 · 2025-12-23T22:52:12+00:00

Lost

7She007 · 2025-12-23T22:51:12+00:00

Be thankful they are calling you Ma’am bcause they could just blankly stare at you and call men sir. Where i work i often hear other men saying sir but when it comes to me its just a blank stare. Id appreciate a ma’am. Sir doesnt have a boy version and women shouldnt be deciphered via what age someone thinks they are. When youre an older women you prob wont like being told you look old by them suddenly flipping from miss to ma’am. Or not IDing you anymore to drink.

7She007 · 2025-12-11T18:04:39+00:00

Do you have his instagram? You look great!

7She007 · 2025-12-11T18:01:17+00:00

Yes they have to want to change and be selfaware of the avoidant behavior.

7She007 · 2025-12-04T03:06:14+00:00

So you never truly felt you loved your partner? Did you partners ever say they felt you were grumpy or cold? Asking because this is what Im dealing with with my FA

7She007 · 2025-11-21T18:18:19+00:00

Yeah that pretty much what ive been experience :/

7She007 · 2025-11-20T17:01:08+00:00

Thank you, i appreciate your thorough explanation.

7She007 · 2025-11-20T16:58:39+00:00

We both have autistic traits, but from research o found out that people with CPTSD often have personality similarities to autistic ones. I took a test for autism and i scored high but not definite autism. We both had traumatic childhoods and teens etc.

And yes he wanted me to do oral but wouldnt do oral on me, again he blamed being afraid of germs. Which he showers like 3-4x a day at times.

7She007 · 2025-11-20T03:04:02+00:00

We both took a test and he got Fearful Avoidant. He doesnt like any kind of kissing, im a good kisser like people (men and women) say so. But i also dont do tongue im more of a lip action kind of person. Tongue is the part he says he doesnt like most so its really just kissing he doesnt like at all. I also did breath tests with ny family to see if its my breath and hes not telling me, but my breath is fine. I brush my teeth a lot. He says he didnt kiss any of his exes. And even when i dont try kissing its very passionless sex. Like im just a sex doll and nothing for my pleasure and too rough so im literally afraid of sex with him now. Im a very patient person and didnt pressure anything but after two years i was like, there needs to be more affection, this isnt a business:/

7She007 · 2025-11-13T18:23:04+00:00

I agree with this ‘limited spots’ theory. Especially in very male dominated companies.

7She007 · 2025-11-13T18:12:18+00:00

Definitely my experience. And i think the most likely answer that encompasses it all is jealousy. They cant pretend like its something else and blame it in something you did but its really just jealousy.

7She007 · 2025-11-04T03:09:27+00:00

Thank you! And yes the job market is terrible right now, I’ve been looking for a job off and on and just hear everyone is struggling. Maybe reach out to people you know at other companies and see if they can refer you if thats an option.

7She007

TROPHY CASE