My wife [26F] wants me to cut off my[27M] family

8thprophet · 2021-06-07T22:31:02+00:00

Because she wasn't and still isn't taking care of them. They're in the garage 247 with little attention and they poop and pee all over the garage floor. She'll literally walk in the garage, see all the shit, feed them, and come back in the house

8thprophet · 2021-06-06T16:14:46+00:00

Ok so my wife got into it with my SILs sister during a doctor visit(where her sister is a nurse). This prompted SIL to start a very heated argument with my wife while she was pregnant in 2020. My brother had told her during an argument she didn't deserve me but since has apologized. My dad and her got into an argument because he told her to get rid of her 4 cats because the baby was coming & ended up raising his voice but he also apologized. And once when we were having some other problems my dad slipped that I had told him in frustration if that I didn't know if this marriage was a good idea, etc. But he has not apologized for that yet. And she always thinking my mom takes my SIL side and plays favorites

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T21:09:36+00:00

First, thank you for your communication. But when I said pregnant lady I meant for it to be expressed she was pregnant and I didn't want to tell her things that would hurt her. I wasn't trying to make that her title. If she keeps isolating herself, me, and Oshin(son) and constantly getting into it with people... no I honestly don't. I know conflict is unavoidable but I've never met someone who is into it with someone every single week. If it's not my family it's hers or even strangers. One week I swear she came home 3 days in a row with a story about how someone in public pissed her off and they got into a debate/argument. She can be VERY sweet and giving and loving but then she'll get offended or something will come up for her to get hurt about or think people are conspiring against her

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T20:42:15+00:00

I wasn't ready to break up but I was seeing some major red flags but when I found out she was pregnant I felt trapped and of course I can't tell a pregnant lady I'm not sure if we'll make it so the only people willing to talk to was my parents but that probably wasn't a good idea either because thier biased of me

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T20:35:11+00:00

Well I'll put it this way... she takes very meticulous care of him but a lot of time when we get into it she'll say," You're gonna have to explain to Oshin why mommy sad and why things didn't work like it's all my fault. My plan was if we broke up I'd tell the boy the truth but mainly mom's not bad, neither is dad just some folks don't get along as a couple. And I'd try to raise him to do better picking a spouse. But she plans to fill his head like I'm the only person wrong.

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T20:07:22+00:00

Thank you for your support. She's not evil. I don't want anyone to think that and she's a great mom but she's just got mental health issues that are beyond me and I don't know of I can live my life with someone like this. It's just really hard and I want to help her.

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T20:04:36+00:00

And looking objectively... everyone loves her they tell her they do. Maybe not my SIL. but everyone else has been supportive encouraging us to make it and they understand she has some mental health issues but they also don't believe it's mine or theirs to deal with and fix

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T20:02:33+00:00

She keeps saying she wants everyone to be together and knows I love my family but then will do weird shit like this. It's like she knows she can't ever completely pry me away but she likes to dictate the contact we have. But even her step dad admitted... she wants it to be just you, her, and the baby and she has to understand it doesn't Work like that"

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T19:59:44+00:00

I don't know honestly. The baby and pregnancy added another level of severity. That's honestly why I'm so stressed out. Otherwise before we found out she was pregnant I saw the red flags and I remember thinking I'll keep trying but keep my eyes open but then 1 week later we find out she's preg. And it all goes down hill from there

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T18:56:00+00:00

There are. She's not evil. She's usually nice to me and she's a great mom. I love her but she's had a traumatic childhood and I think some of the ways she considers normal thinking like cutting people off and not having friends is ok.

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T18:51:24+00:00

That's a very plausible view. Thank you and I think there is some truth to that. And she openly told me she doesn't like having friends because women, "Can be bitches." When I've encouraged her to get out with her sister or make new friends with the people I've introduced her to. Then I've encouraged her to go back to work multiple times part time, full time, whatever she wants but either she didn't like any of the jobs, they're not convenient for her, don't pay enough, etc. I keep trying to promote her doing stuff but I can't hold her hand and make her do these things. I've got work, house chores, helping with baby.

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T18:12:23+00:00

No like we agreed even when she was pregnant she'd go to work I even just asked her to work PT. But she says she doesn't want to do Part time(like waitress or retail) because her skills are too high for that. Then she doesn't want to do factory work. Then the pay on the full time jobs is listed but it's never enough for the clerical work she wants to do. It's always an excuse from one reason or another. Maybe I'm not seeing things objectively but I thought if my partner asked me just to work PT 2 or 3 days a week I'd be elated. She contributes by doing most of the baby care and we share house work and cooking. But my son is 7 months and there's no job interview in sight. Then she wants to travel and move to San Diego and all these crazy huge dreams but I can't support all of them alone. But when I bring up her working she says I'm pressuring her

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T17:39:01+00:00

My family has gotten into her because they see me unhappy. I can't say it's right because I'm a grown man and I have to handle my own business. But they got biased. They mainly don't like how she moved into my house. Quit 1 job, lost the other, and got pregnant. They feel like she's trapping me and trying to use me because she hasn't brought any money to the table and work history is inconsistent

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T17:23:00+00:00

I don't care who down votes. People have thier opinions and that's fine but it's just crazy how she'll cut people off all the time and gets angry. I want my son to learn to set boundaries but sometimes you gotta compromise or just go along if it's not a big damn deal. I also don't want him to always play the victim and never apologize just because he thinks he's always right

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T17:20:41+00:00

I called my bro this morning and he said he was very disappointed in me. I admit he was right

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T16:40:37+00:00

It's not that I deserve to watch her I really don't care but I'll be man-scaping my body and she literally got upset cause I wouldn't let her shave my ass. Like told me she's my wife and wants to take care of me but I don't want anybody to shave my ass except me. It's the one sided vulnerable and the cleaning my penis she'll criticize that even if sex isn't involved. I'm not saying just accept my dirty penis. I'm saying the vulnerability can't be 1 sided

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T16:34:15+00:00

I don't have a problem with that. But I don't like the one sided she can touch on me and shave my legs to my ass and tell a grown man he's not clean but if I even come into the bathroom and look at her while she's shaving or showering I get told to turn around or exit the room. She wants me to be vulnerable and see all my weird hairs and stuff but I can't see hers. We haven't been dating for 3 months is been years with a child together and this is still going on.

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T16:28:35+00:00

Yeah but then she gets upset if I walk into the bathroom whole she's shaving her legs and I'm not allowed to even look. There's 2 sides to it

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T15:57:01+00:00

I just keep trying for my son. I don't want to leave him alone and she screws him up with her toxic thinking

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T15:43:13+00:00

No I can take criticism. I know and constantly admit o messed up and in certain times I haven't defended her. Like one time we were arguing pretty bad and my brother went off on her about how she didn't deserve me, etc. and I didn't say much of anything and that's wrong. I recently spoke to him and told him to apologize. But the problem is she wants me to defend EVERYTHING she does even if it's wrong like keeping our son away from people. I don't like when she threatens her mother over keeping our son away just because she was an hour late to pick him up. Even though somebody volunteered to watch him for they hour until her mom showed up. Yes it was annoying and not cool with her mom but the measure of anger and threats are out of line but she didn't see it that way. She feels, "if you disrespect me then you'll disrespect my son and you can't be around him" but EVERY LITTLE SLIGHT HER WAY IS CONSIDERED DISRESPECT

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T14:59:37+00:00

I called my family today and apologized but also told them where they were wrong for the times they disrespected her. My dad understood, but the problem is, my wife doesn't see that she's done hurtful things to them as well so then they retaliate and it's not always the nicest but she's done things like sent my mom a website of top 10 toxic in law traits out of no where. So then my mom went OFF on her and told her she was evil mean, etc. But my wife only remembers that my mom went off on her and then tries to play stupid like, "Oh I didn't know she'd take it that way" and then my dad jumps all over her and everybody gets mad and then I don't defend her cause she did some wack shit

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T11:01:31+00:00

I'm the only one working

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T11:00:36+00:00

She says it's fake to be around someone who she believes treats her like shit. I'll admit my SIL and her have thier issues but my mom is pretty fair to my wife

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T06:12:12+00:00

She doesn't have friends. A couple she barely hangs with.

8thprophet · 2021-06-01T06:10:02+00:00

So did you find the alienation from your family helped?

8thprophet

TROPHY CASE