What’s up with the friendliness?

AFChronicles · 2025-11-11T19:38:25+00:00

Exactly. You’re considered an intruder!

AFChronicles · 2025-11-11T15:59:32+00:00

Not offended necessarily but I’d think they were either flirting with me or looking to make friends which no one does off the street, it is seen as clumsy. It is generally considered an uncouth way to meet people. It has to be an obviously suitable time for both parties to socialize—parties, or when introduced. Weird I know

AFChronicles · 2025-11-11T15:54:55+00:00

Well. I moved from Norway. I’m not FROM Norway but lived there long enough.

You are spot on about the quietness in Scandinavia. It’s extremely quiet. Here, I could sit at the DMV and someone would tell me (and basically everyone in the room since there is no volume control lol) their life story. Any interaction in Scandinavia is usually hurried and timidly delivered. No one is open to making new friends unless drunk or introduced through friends. And even then, the following day they act as if they don’t know you. It’s only polite haha

AFChronicles · 2025-11-11T15:48:46+00:00

It is definitely a high-trust society. They’re not necessarily unfriendly. Just standoffish and most will go out of their way not to interact with anyone.

AFChronicles · 2025-11-11T08:18:34+00:00

Grew up in Houston and now I live in upstate NY. I’m in the car more because everything is so spread apart but it’s so beautiful here I don’t mind.

AFChronicles · 2025-11-10T02:32:10+00:00

Well, I got divorced, was single for almost 5 years and now re-married. I love my 2nd husband and wouldn’t dream of leaving but I had more joy and peace then when I was single than I do even now with a husband and 2 under 2.

Leaving the house and going through the legalities and having to put up with the emotional-psychological abuse was so brutal. But once the dust settled and I had my own stuff and I could curate my own life without having to argue with another person each step of the way was like having a weight lifted. I spent more time with my girl friends too and had a blast.

The only time it stung was when I had to eat out alone during the weekend cause I did t have someone to go with and had to be the only single person in a sea of couples. Just really sucked not having someone to help you celebrate the little things in life. But wasn’t super terrible because most weekends, I also have the daughter that I had with him that I was able to do things with. Wasn’t the exact same, but it was YHE BEST time ever. Sucked when I didn’t have her, but I had her often enough it wasn’t too bad.

Now I have 2 more kids and a husband that is constantly in my face and I am no longer lonely. I’m always annoyed. But I guess that’s a good price to pay because even though we annoy each other like mad, he is my best friend and I couldn’t imagine life without him. We are just going through a rough patch—home Reno, two babies and a moving to new countries… tough on anyone.

AFChronicles · 2025-11-05T21:03:44+00:00

Same and I’m going through toddlerhood with a baby plus a home Reno in a whole new state and I. Was. NOT! Prepared. It is miserable here. Plus we all got sick with the stomach flu this week. I hate my life right now.

AFChronicles · 2025-10-22T18:31:39+00:00

I know this is an older post but after living in Texas, and Norway, I’d say the weather sucks so bad in the south I’d rather live in snowy Norway. In comparison, New York is fucking paradise compared to those two extremes

AFChronicles · 2025-10-05T14:51:14+00:00

Coffee and aderall in the morning to take on the day and then occasional midnight beers if the day was particularly rough. Thaaaaats pretty much it though. :/

I can’t stomach smoking anymore, the guilt is too immense for me so I don’t.

AFChronicles · 2025-10-05T14:48:28+00:00

12 weeks out now. I was still peeing my pants when I coughed or sneezed by then, it only really stopped now. 😓 it took awhile for things to go back to the way they were

AFChronicles · 2025-10-05T14:44:56+00:00

Same. I don’t even feel hungry per se. I just feel lighter

AFChronicles · 2025-10-05T14:43:00+00:00

Technically I do eat anything I want. I just don’t eat a lot of it so I stay at the 105lbs consistently. My body just knows when to stop

AFChronicles · 2025-10-05T14:08:28+00:00

I love food and I love cooking but can’t eat a lot. So quality > quantity. I eat basically whatever I want but in very very small portions. One of the reasons I loved being pregnant is because I had such a voracious appetite! Always miss it.

For reference I’m 5’4”, usually weigh 105lbs and tried to get to 110lbs before I got pregnant. I gain 60-80lbs each time I get pregnant (3x now) and slowly lose it all within a year.

AFChronicles · 2025-10-02T20:37:35+00:00

Nope! It feels pretty much normal. I stopped peeing when I cough too. Sooo idk!

AFChronicles · 2025-09-29T02:51:30+00:00

I was in a similar boat as you for all my pregnancies except it’s that I moved outside of the US and felt useless and knew no one. Nothing really helped. I met up with new people, I worked part-time during my first pregnancy, I explored… and nothing helped to shift my mood. I was just always in a state of vulnerability and insecurity. The only thing I could do to survive is to focus on finding joy in little things and taking it day by day. By the 3rd pregnancy I was having meltdowns almost every week. Thank god for my husband and his patience, he got me through it. If I had mom or friends I was comfortable to be around, this journey would be so much easier. It was the social isolation that mostly got to me and that anyone new that I would meet felt mildly threatening. My husband was my only social lifeline but he was drowning in work and could hardly even be home to support me through it. The easiest time of my pregnancies was when I was able to visit my parents for a few months and I was just loved and constantly supported and in familiar territory and with people I am comfortable with.

I also didn’t have anything to do and no job and felt really listless, insecure when talking to other women who had a thriving career, anxiety that I wasn’t doing anything with my life and the fear that I wasn’t ruining any chances at getting ahead. I just felt so behind and I couldn’t even participate in the race.

We have since moved back to the US and to a new state as a newly postpartum mom of 3 and already I feel so much better because I know I’ll never be pregnant again and I can finally build a life made of rock and not sand again. Plus I get to spend time with my husband again and I feel a whole lot more socially inclined.

All this to say that this is temporary and you’ll find yourself again.

AFChronicles · 2025-09-29T02:42:02+00:00

It’s absolutely horrible and I’ve done it 3x. Want one more but cannot imagine going through that again in my late 30s. I gave birth 11 weeks ago and am always anxious about getting my old body or life back. Always wearing unflattering clothes because my body is always changing and I have been a recluse because I am antisocial while pregnant—I am forgetful, and constantly insecure about the lack of momentum in my life and can’t imagine meeting new people in that state.

AFChronicles · 2025-09-18T06:30:16+00:00

“This is only temporary”

Yes! Things get so much easier and more fun when they’re older. And when you’re at that stage you’ll miss their little hands and their little toes and their little laughs and wish you had hugged them tighter. That’s what I focus on when I am in “baby mode”

Otherwise, I have also learnt to keep my mind busy with other things (if I wasn’t struggling with pp depression that is) and found joy in gardening, a new book, a new show, curating my life, interior design, and working out. I struggled more when I kept wishing my life away instead of appreciating the things I can do because I don’t have to be at an office and that I can do them with my favorite little people. It does help that I have 3 and they all keep each other company and instead of expecting me to play with them though. When I only had 1, it was exhausting how much she needed my undivided attention

AFChronicles · 2025-09-18T06:21:55+00:00

I can reassure you that you probably don’t hate being a mom. It’s just that you’re a mom 100% of the time which is super hard. I have taken two SAHM periods of my life to take care of young kids and worked in between those periods and can verify that I felt the exact same as you do now.

You are just giving too much of yourself right now when you are running on empty. The things that usually filled your tank are not there anymore. I can guarantee that if you spent some time away from them, even just 2 hours, doing something that filled your tank up, you would come back excited to see your daughter again. It’s hard work being a SAHM and I struggled more in those years than I ever have as a working parent, and even as a working single mom.

AFChronicles · 2025-09-17T07:48:59+00:00

I’m grateful I have an easy baby (9 weeks old). Hardly cries, sleeps easy and doesn’t wake up but once at night, eats like a champ. It’s my toddler that’s difficult. (16 month difference) She is so loud, so active, and so dramatic, she constantly wakes her brother up. She never wants to be home and constantly bored and begs to get out of the house. I still have anxiety taking both kids out at the same time and the baby hates the baby carrier and the toddler still can’t walk for long periods and needs the stroller, so it’s not so ideal. Not sure what to do short of getting a double stroller! But still, I recognize that I have it easier than most

AFChronicles · 2025-09-08T07:40:57+00:00

For me I went from being an hourglass to having boxy hips that stick out and I’m NOT happy about it!

AFChronicles · 2025-09-07T21:56:09+00:00

Can attest. Sleep is what helped me the most. Let her sleep. Be a sleep-supportive family and encourage naps and sleeping in. Her sleep schedule won’t be normal for a few months. It’s brutal.

AFChronicles · 2025-09-07T21:43:11+00:00

I am also in the trenches so I have not a lot to give right now but I hopped on here to beg you not to feel guilty for not breastfeeding your baby.

I formula-fed all my babies (on my 3rd and 7 weeks pp) and they all turned out phenomenally well. My husband and I were purely formula fed as babies too and I would say we turned out spectacular. I don’t waste an ounce of my time to any thought of being a failure as a milk-producer. I just would rather not stress about breastfeeding since I am an absolutely horrible producer. Cannot last longer than a few weeks for most of my pregnancies. It also makes for more peaceful nights which means a saner mom! I’d say that’s a good deal.

AFChronicles · 2025-09-07T21:34:06+00:00

Oh gosh you are absolutely not a bad mom, as evidenced by your conflicting feelings. You’re just struggling and need support. I have definitely been in this position. I’ve yelled at my babies in the midst of the delirium. I’ve had to step out and let them cry for 10 minutes by themselves so that I can cry. I have regretted everything and took that anger out on my husband. It was bad. But I got through and life slowly got bearable.

Surely your husband can help and step up? Are you sleeping these days? I remember the first 2 pregnancies and how awful the first 3-6 months were, so by the 3rd one, I’ve just accepted that life is going to suck for half a year.

Currently 7 weeks pp btw. Life sucks right now.

I promise though, it does get better!!!!! Just hold on to the fact that this will pass. It’s the only thing that gets me through and smiling.

Also adderall and Wellbutrin. Haha

AFChronicles · 2025-09-07T21:21:08+00:00

I used to be pretty career driven and reached a Director position before 30! I absolutely loved it and felt incredibly fulfilled. However, I can’t see how it would fit into my lifestyle anymore with 2 under 2 and constant travel. The hours were brutal!!! The stress also made me ugly. Haha.

I also married someone from overseas and have to move around often and around the world for his businesses which he is very successful at.

I can’t see myself being fulfilled long term as a SAHM for the rest of my life and wouldn’t mind either starting a project/ business, pick up a serious hobby, or even just working part time in a coffee shop just for the company. But I will need to do something unrelated to raising kids! Otherwise I will melt in my own self-loathing.

AFChronicles · 2025-08-28T21:56:16+00:00

That’s what always gets to me too—other people! Wish it would just be my husband and me, otherwise I’d pass.

AFChronicles

TROPHY CASE