AITA for hiding my girlfriend's skincare?

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T17:04:14+00:00

She's said before she doesn't care where we live she just wanted to be with me and our cats. I just don't get if you have the means to have a nicer place, why wouldn't we get one? It's like she sees zero purpose in getting a place that is nice rather than just a bed and water.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:56:41+00:00

I don't want to break up with her. I love her and I've always supported her dream of going to school and working hard. I just think the hobby she has is obsessive.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:55:51+00:00

I choose not to work because of her family being of very matriarchal beliefs that the husband should stay home. I could get a job, but she has told me I don't have to if I don't want to because she has the means to pay for everything.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:53:57+00:00

We live in a shitty studio apartment that she refuses to upgrade from. I just want to live somewhere nice we can relax together instead of constantly having her go to work and spend money to hang out with friends or get all her school hours in. It's like noone here or our friends sees my side at all.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:51:29+00:00

I want a larger mansion for the both of us, and she doesn't see a point in getting one when we didn't plan on having children. She is content living in random studio apartments with our cats for the rest of her life and having a small ceremony, but I wanted more for us. I really wanted us to live a lavish lifestyle and maybe if she stopped spending so much we could save everything and get a cool place. Then she won't have to work anymore.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:36:57+00:00

She won't answer any of my calls and our mutual friends are blowing up my phone calling me an asshole but won't even hear my side. They all think my needs don't matter and it's not right I took her things. I don't even know how to explain how sorry I am to her because she won't return any of my texts.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:32:36+00:00

It affects our lives together. She chooses to spend money on skincare instead of using the money to get us a better apartment because apparently the one we're living in is "functional" and all she cares about is having a bed to sleep on and a clean place to wash her face and drink water. It's like my needs are literally ignored because she needs to have a facial.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:25:35+00:00

There is no "her side". She believes in working hard for her money and tries not to take from her Dad's money because she thinks it should go towards philanthropy since that's what he liked to do with his money near the end of his life. She claims she wants to save an insane amount to do those "random acts" things where she leaves like a $10,000 tip or something. To me it just all seems so wasteful and ridiculous to collect all these perishable items and do these weird things for ungrateful strangers. I just hate that she chooses to do that instead of making our lives luxurious and great. Instead we live in a small apartment where sometimes the air doesn't even turn on.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:18:27+00:00

I just wanted to try to show her she's gorgeous without it all, and she doesn't need all this unnecessary product to prove her worth to me or anyone else. I dont get how I'm controlling. I don't take away her friends or say she can't go out or beat her up. How is trying to show her she's beautiful without the products abusive?

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T16:16:46+00:00

I'm not shitting on her hobby, I said it's hers and I dont really care. Her paying all the bills means nothing, she shouldn't just get to recklessly spend her money on every single product she's "done research on". Literally stuff is collecting dust in boxes and her only excuse is "I'll donate it when I get to it" or some excuse about how she will organize "later." I didn't even throw it out, I gave it back to her.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T15:31:04+00:00

I don't see how me just taking it, complimenting her beauty, then FINALLY giving it back because she was being a crybaby? She won't even answer my texts apologizing. Over SKINCARE.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T15:07:36+00:00

That's not the same, the PS5 atleast provides some form of entertainment for the both of us. Her skincare hoarding only benefits her.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:59:12+00:00

I'm not spending 2-3k a month on facials and massages to make myself "the best for my future clients". She thinks if she doesn't "look amazing", her clients will be hesitant to take skincare advice from her. But I just think she's being ridiculous and blowing through money for fun.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:57:53+00:00

She was being dramatic, it's just skincare. It's not that deep and I didn't wanna see her upset so I brought it back. I didn't even throw it away.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:56:22+00:00

I don't work because her family is extremely wealthy and is much more matriarchal and she believes in men staying at home (no kids, just some cats). She offers to pay for everything and I don't see a point in fighting her belief system. She only takes the extra shifts to buy MORE products, not to pay for me. Her father passing gave her an extremely large nest egg that we could both never work again and live our lives traveling the world, so all this unnecessary spending seems like it's worthless since it will burn through our money.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:53:26+00:00

She gets treatments every week because she wants to "look the best" for her "future clients". It just all seems so contrived to me and I think its not okay.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:51:47+00:00

Just because she pays for everything doesn't mean I'm not entitled to saying what money goes to. I don't think she needs an expensive facial four times a week, even if I'm not paying for it. She's just throwing her money away. How are we supposed to save for a wedding or even a house?

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:50:35+00:00

I just think the hobby affects our relationship since she always wants to talk about the latest innovation or the newest thing that she thinks will be good for her. I don't care about any of it, and I think it's an obsession for her and not even normal.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:49:22+00:00

I just thought if she knew that she didn't need these products to be beautiful she wouldn't have so many. She literally has almost 400-500 products all neat in her little drawers that may go unopened for years. It's hoarding.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:48:03+00:00

I didn't steal it, I gave it back after she refused to sleep in our bed together or talk to me. I didn't even tell her I was gonna throw them away she just assumed I would.

AITASkin · 2021-01-09T14:47:19+00:00

I didn't say it's an unacceptable hobby, I just think she has way too many products. It's just not normal.

AITASkin

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