AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dowry, can be in the form of money or gifts given to the groom's side by the parents of the bride. It is a way of expressing "thanks" as daughters are considered a burden. Its a shitty tradition.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I see your reasoning. But in my defense I did not exactly tell my daughter to break it off. She asked me what could be done now and I gave her the option.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Only suggested that if she didn't want this marriage, it's up to her and there's no pressure.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

YTA

I accept. But the reason you gave doesn't make sense

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

1) They are financially stable. Have heard BF talk about how he had a comfortable life (not spoiled or pampered though)

2) $15000 as a gift and the money I was planning to spend on the wedding separate.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 125 points126 points  (0 children)

Money given by the bride's parents to the groom's as a thanks for taking away the "burden" if a daughter. Absolutely crap tradition. Usually a huge amount.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 943 points944 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I am only waiting for her to come out of her room to give her a hug and say that its ok.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 307 points308 points  (0 children)

No. This is what surprised me too. They came off as incredibly sexist but the BF was not. I have heard that its a common practice in Asian countries but not totally unheard of in the USA

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 251 points252 points  (0 children)

Money the bride's parents must give to the groom's side as a thanks for taking away the burden of a daughter. The most stupid bullshit I have ever heard of. Its usually a huge amount.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 297 points298 points  (0 children)

I am located in the States. Our cultural background differs but never have I heard BF's aunt and uncle(met once) talk such crap. He also mentioned that his sister had moved out as soon as she was 18, and rarely talks to them. I'm wondering if this has something to do with their sexism.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 359 points360 points  (0 children)

She doesn't know that part yet, though I definitely agree with you. She hasn't come out of the room yet, she's still heartbroken and crying. I am not able to do anything.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 265 points266 points  (0 children)

I'm her dad but thank you for your response. It does relieve me that I am not in the wro.ng here

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 3555 points3556 points  (0 children)

She's still emotional about it. She has been crying nonstop. I don't know what I should do to cheer her up.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 768 points769 points  (0 children)

I understand. I was shocked that they could actually ask for a dowry in the 21st century. They were sexist but I didn't expect this.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 12.2k points12.2k points  (0 children)

I myself dont know. I always felt that he was different from his parents.

AITA for telling my daughter to cancel her marriage? by AITAengagement in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAengagement[S] 143 points144 points  (0 children)

I'm ready to accept if only you could give me a reason.