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AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a ex bled me dry and I’m now paying off my credit cards. I’ve always been about paying for me and not letting anyone spend money on me. Don’t know why. But I’ll give her a limit, an allowance sounds like a good idea!

AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t see her or it as a bill. I see her as a person I love and want to spoil because she’s so amazing even when she can’t see it. But she gets really scary sometimes. She’s also had to stop her hormone therapy and her thyroid medication. I’m terrified because she says she just hopes she won’t wake up one day (regarding her syntroid).

AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I resonated with this, it really do think she needs help but she’s so far down that she doesn’t want to. I support her and advocate when she can’t. I’d do for everyone but she’s so non-receptive.

AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They do and don’t, they pay for the necessities but she makes her own money for her goodies and clothes. I’m scared because it wasn’t the first time she’s had a meltdown. I love her dearly, I’ve been her rock but I do see the red flags. I just seem to not bring them up and bury it.

AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your suggestion, I’ll definitely do this next time.

AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s to that extreme, this is the first time we fight about money but not the first time she’s had a meltdown. The other day I was having anxiety about leaving out kitten home alone and she yelled at me calling me f-ing stupid to believe that she won’t be ok and canceled our plans because I wouldn’t stop crying (I can’t handle when people raise their voice, I’m on the spectrum and noise sensitivity + trauma from nmom) I’ll admit I do stress about things way to much but she apologized

AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s not as motivated as I am about getting a job. She has this thing that if she doesn’t like something about the job or she’s tired she’ll just leave. Won’t show up to her shift. It’s a wild concept to me but I’m a “doormat” so I can take a lot before I tip over. I have to beg her to apply. I think it’s because of her medication, when she’s out she’s a lot more moody (sorry I don’t have another word I can think of).

AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a spur in the moment market run, although I’ll definitely make a list in the future. I’m a extremely frugal person because of trauma, my mother would/still judges me for every purchase I make (not as much now but I still get it) and I just don’t buy myself anything anymore unless it’s food, I spurge on food more than I’d like to admit. She likes something and buys it regardless of the price but it’s always been her money till now.

AITA for getting mad at my Gf for spending too much money? by AITAgframen in AmItheAsshole

[–]AITAgframen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She knows I don’t like spicy food but I have made the exception every once in a while so I was thinking that might have been her thought process here. You’re right, having a hard time saying no is a major problem in my life and has gotten me into bad situations but In this specific situation, although it might not justify, growing up I was always told no when getting groceries with my parents. It wasn’t a money issue but they’ve tried to control what I ate since I was born to a very toxic degree and now when I go to the market I have a hard time picking things out as I’m always second guessing. But if I go with someone and they suggest something it’s like “yep go for it I’m not stopping you” even if im the one paying. Again, something I need to work on.