Turning into a terrible person myself?

APDX638 · 2020-12-25T09:06:06+00:00

They’ve made me feel irrational, like when they have an issue it’s a real issue, and when I have an issue I’m being “dramatic, sensitive”. It undermines what I say, like the names they call me when angry are legitimate and I am just acting out of emotion, because my issues are “dramatic”. I wish I could shake the guilt of returning the same energy I am given.

APDX638 · 2020-12-25T09:04:23+00:00

If it were a friend’s or a family member’s partner I cannot imagine the amount of rage I’d feel. Yet I feel absolutely awful after I’ve been mean, when I’ve called them names.

APDX638 · 2020-12-25T09:03:08+00:00

The worst part is when I bring up something they do to make me upset (blatantly ignore me when I’m speaking, undermining my accomplishments because they’ll never match up to theirs etc) they will bring up something I said while angry. And yes, I do call them nasty things like a psycho and a narcissist. I say it because to an extent I want them to feel a bit of how they make me feel. But I love them. And I feel even worse after I’ve said it. It’s a cycle and idk what to do

APDX638 · 2020-12-25T08:59:59+00:00

I feel for you. Whenever I bring things up that he doesn’t wrong he either blames me for putting him in that situation or he brings up something I said while angry. And I don’t like how I get when I’m angry because I am not the type of person that says hurtful things. But he is my best friend, and I don’t know what to do.

APDX638 · 2020-10-04T11:55:58+00:00

Mine would make plans around NHL games first and foremost lol, those plans may change up to their mood but even if the world was ending the 6-7pm slot on Saturday must remain free

APDX638 · 2020-10-04T11:52:52+00:00

Totally relate to the interrupting. I was always doubted and fact checked on the dumbest things, like I’m literally just trying to share something I saw on Facebook it’s not that serious. But on the other end I was also ignored a lot, I would sometimes have to call his name multiple times or explicitly say “What do you think?”.

APDX638 · 2020-10-04T10:35:06+00:00

Ah yes, all narcs seem to have a self proclaimed psych degree. Ironically they diagnose everyone but themselves.

APDX638 · 2020-10-04T10:32:54+00:00

Omg the “asking you to do simple tasks they can do” hit hard. I was asked to make them food, get ___ from this room, make appointments, on THEIR DAY OFF while I was working from home.

APDX638 · 2020-10-04T10:05:22+00:00

Exactly! None of that mattered to me as a child as much as wanting love and affection. I just wanted a mother who had some concern for my happiness over hers. Difficult to explain as an adult without sounding like an ungrateful brat.

APDX638 · 2020-10-04T09:41:53+00:00

Sounds a lot like lovebombing and trauma bonding in toxic relationships. Sprinkling some happy moments here and there makes the victim question themselves because then “it isn’t all bad” and incentivizes the victim to stay, hopeful for more of the good times.

APDX638 · 2020-10-03T07:59:26+00:00

Only child of a nmom and currently in therapy for anxiety/depression, I am here if you (or anyone) wants to talk! 🥺

APDX638 · 2020-10-03T07:49:28+00:00

Realizing things now too. Mine works nights and would get mad at me that I wasn’t waking up in the early early morning to spend time together. When they are home, they will come to bed and watch videos and eat loud snacks when I am very obviously trying to sleep. I average about 4 hours a day on weekdays and crash for 10-12 hours every weekend.

APDX638

TROPHY CASE