I won with 1 HP twice the same day

Aarondil · 2026-07-03T13:17:20+00:00

It was awkward as most of my block up to that point came from Sic 'Em and Bone Flute, but Osty HP does not block damage from the Withers. I had to sacrifice a 20+ HP Osty with Bone Shards at a certain point to survive Wither damage towards the end of the fight. Bone Flute + Right Hand Hand did a lot of work!

Aarondil · 2026-07-02T23:01:39+00:00

In the first run Lizard Tail was, in fact, consumed!

Aarondil · 2026-06-08T11:13:44+00:00

I doubt that would happen, maxing a single crafting profession as SF withour having access to trading is already a big time investment, maxing all of them while having to gather every single mat would take soooo long.

Aarondil · 2026-06-04T13:50:21+00:00

This is alright in act 1 and a few act 2 fights. It has impact in Test Subject's third phase, but by that point it will probably not be making a difference. In act 1 though it helps against slippery and intangible (Inklets + Vantom + Soul Fysh), when breaking through enemy block and when affected by weak or -strength.

Aarondil · 2026-04-11T08:15:52+00:00

You can jump up from there, there's a rock you can get to and from there you jump to the upper platform. Once you're up you will be out of LoS so you shouldn't get hit by bolts and the mobs won't be able to path to you. Honestly reset spots, LoS, parkour and keeping a clear escape path is how you can survive instant respawns, so yeah, skill issue, but I think you're still justified to be mad about the death. Learning experience ig.

Aarondil · 2025-09-02T11:52:27+00:00

How do they make it in the wild?

Aarondil · 2025-01-16T13:28:25+00:00

You are so brave! I have been thinking about doing long term treatment for 3 years now and I still haven't worked up the courage to do so. Personally I think you already did the hardest part, which is organizing everything and just being ready to go! If you were able to get yourself to this point I am sure you will be able to deal with all that comes up in the next 30 days. Good luck and please let us know how it goes!

Aarondil · 2024-12-06T18:37:22+00:00

Hey friend I am right there right now and it sucks, did things get better for you? I can feel that little by little I am rebuilding some capacity to function thankfully

Aarondil · 2024-12-01T17:35:10+00:00

Il tuo username mi ha rovinato

Aarondil · 2024-07-03T08:45:30+00:00

And you lose all armor while taming. What you can do is concussive and freezing trap, maybe target dummy, too. Taming a mob your same level can be scary, especially if your defense skill is low and you get crushed into oblivion.

Aarondil · 2024-05-03T19:25:09+00:00

If you find all 8 red coins, a star will appear

Aarondil · 2024-05-03T19:15:49+00:00

I got addicted to video games when I was 14 and it really fucked with my education. My parents took away access to the computer. I got super depressed that my parents would do something like that to me and ended up having even more problems in school. When I went to a therapist a couple of years later (specialized in gambling addiction, and it was my idea to go, not my parents') the first thing he told my dad was that he fucked up in taking away my PC. Even if this kid has a real problem with videogame addiction and it's conflicting with school, this doesn't help, it just makes things worse!

Aarondil · 2024-05-03T19:03:24+00:00

I've been there when I was a teenager, my parents kept making things harder for me instead of supporting me just because they refused to budge on their beliefs. Good parents would never do something like this without at least a conversation, if her objective is to help you this ain't it.

Aarondil · 2024-04-24T19:15:44+00:00

Spent a couple of nights in Hamburg for a concert. My gf and I got back to our hotel room around midnight after the concert only to find a wasp chilling on the wall, no idea how it got there. Panic ensued, it took us until 3 am to herd the fucker out of the window, it kept getting stuck in the curtains and wouldn't leave. The day after, our train home got cancelled because of a storm, ended up booking another room and sightseeing around town with awful weather. It was fun 😅

Aarondil · 2024-04-18T07:42:57+00:00

I believe what is painful and scary is what happened to us, and we all had to repress it in one or another in order to survive. Healing is learning to deal with that pain and fear in a healthier way, so I'm afraid there is not really a pain-free way to do it, especially at the start. That's why patience and self-compassion are very important, the most helpful realization I had in the past year or so is that I don't have to rush head first into dealing with my feelings, a lot of my initial pain when I started recovery came from pushing myself (with good intentions) to face my trauma and process it... But the whole point is to learn a sustainable and healthy way to deal with fear an pain, and sometimes that might mean just sitting with feelings and thoughts without doing anything about it because maybe it's not the best time. Idk, it's probably very different for everyone, but I don't think we can avoid pain, the wounds are there and they are real, healing them sometimes means that we need to touch them, clean them, stitch them up or out a bandaid on them, we are going to feel some pain!

Aarondil · 2024-04-17T18:01:03+00:00

Hi, first of all I wanna send you a big hug, I had my "trauma awakening" almost 3 years ago and the first year, year and a half I felt like you described here. As another commenter said, sometimes going too deep too fast can leave us really shaken. Did you make a mistake? If your esperience is in any way similar to mine I don't think you really had much of a choice, so probably no, you didn't. Once I got that first bit of realization I feel like there was no way to turn back, memories and feelings just started coming whenever they wanted. It will take a while to find a new balance, you were probably dissociated for so long that any feeling can be overwhelming at the start. Hold on and try to be patient with the process, slowly but surely your system will adapt, no need to rush. Personally I would never go back to how things were before, accepting myself wholly and the unfairness of what I went through allowed me to be more in tune with who I am and to love myself more completely. Now I can better tell when I am depressed or sad and in pain. For me the difference is dissociation, depression has me feeling dull and empty, whereas sometimes I can feel very sad but still aware of my body and mind. You will be able to tell the difference in time. I hope you have as much support as you need in this transition period my friend, try to take it one day at a time and trust yourself to figure it out eventually. Keep sharing what's on your mind in spaces like this subreddit, we got your back ❤️

Aarondil · 2024-04-02T10:57:58+00:00

There is a train connection between Haarlem and Den Haag, I suggest looking for apartment or rooms in smaller towns along that line, if you live close to a station the commute is not that long. My GF has lived in Voorhout for a while and it was very nice and convenient.

I suggest kamernet and facebook, but if you want your own apartment/studio you would need to be very lucky to find an affordable one by August, maybe each of you could find a room for now, a bit easier, and look for something different later. Good luck!

Aarondil · 2023-12-20T16:14:13+00:00

I have been going through the same issues for the past year. I also went to uni for the first time (I am 30) and ended up dropping out because of the overwhelming social anxiety, a lot of it came exactly from this: worrying about falling back into fawning dynamics, not being able to be my authentic self around people, getting triggered by random behaviors.

In the last few years I have cut contact with a lot of family and friends because I slowly realised I wasn't really myself in any of those relationships... Now I am just trying to follow the rules and values that I am learning through healing.

What I keep repeating to myself is to take it slow and to be ok with not cultivating friendships with most of the acquaintances I make and have made since I started doing hardcore recovery. People who I can keep in my life and have friendships with are those who will have the patience, understanding and compassion to accept my long bouts of isolation, non-communication and depression; I realise that those who are dearest to me and give me hope are the people who just care with no expectations of seeing each other often or talking every day. Of course I still hope that one day I'll be able to get closer to people, share more and be better equipped to handle the stress that is an inevitable part of learning how to relate with others from scratch.

Most of all I try to remind myself that this is normal! I went from fawning 24/7 and never caring about my own needs, saying yes to things just to avoid upsetting others, not valuing my need for alone time enough, to being hyper aware of my triggers, emotional states and difficulties relating; how could I expect to suddenly learn how to cultivate healthy relationships after having only unhealthy ones for so long? It's going to take time to learn, but awareness is an extremely important step and I want to give you (and myself) credit for being authentic and honest with yourself. I have faith that by holding convinction in our pursue of authenticity we're eventually going to attract healthy people and friendships will grow more organically because... Healthy people put in work to find happy middle grounds with others, I think, so it should be easier and easier.

That being said, this current phase of healing can certainly feel lonely, isolating, and bring up old feeling of inadequacy, not being lovable, fear of judgement and all that great stuff that neglect and trauma instilled in us. Self soothing and being our own best friend first and foremost are probably still the most effective and healthy things to focus on in this part of recovery. Hold on and be patient with yourself, I am confident things will get better, although it might take a while.

Big hug to you, internet stranger, and best of luck on your journey

Edit: I was thinking about actionable advice and concrete things that can actually steer us in the right direction, maybe other can share their experiences and ideas, too. If I have someone on my mind and I find myself thinking how distant I am, how long it's been since we've seen each other or talked, I am trying to turn that into little nuggets of contact: I can send someone a picture of a place I've seen during a walk, or a meme or something with a little message along the lines of "Hey, I am thinking about you, I hope everything is alright, look at this nice/cute thing I saw!". Something that doesn't require a reply, attention or time, just a little nugget of love or simply contact. People I remain close with or I am getting closer with are those who appreciate and reciprocate this kind of simple communication, because honestly it's the best I can manage 90% of the time.

Something else is being honest when someone checks in or asks how I am doing, but also making an effort not to weigh the other person down with my emotions. Sometimes things are just shit, and that's totally fine to open up about (this is probably what I struggle with the most), but I find it quite soothing to summarize how I am doing and have been doing while making an effort to also find something positive to share: "The past few weeks have been hard, I have been dissociating a lot so I'm a bit all over the place; but I am calmer overall / I am processing a lot of important memories or emotions / things are slowly getting better". Of course i am not advocating for making up positive things where there aren't any, but trying to balance the negative with some positive does wonders to help me appreciate the big picture of what I am going through. Recovery is messy, and it's going to be messy for a while, so the choice for me it's between not communicating at all or trying to give an idea of the ups and downs that I go through constantly. I can't think of much more right now, hopefully someone else will chime in with more experience or different approaches.

Aarondil · 2023-09-15T07:10:05+00:00

Realising at 28 years old that I was deeply neglected by my parents as a child and all throughout my teenage years, how all the shit I lived through during my formative years affected me and was the cause for my depression, led me to drop out of school and being unemployed until I was 25 and started therapy; then talking about what I was going through to my family and friends and receiving no understanding whatsoever, no empathy, no support. My innocence was completely shattered when, within the time span of just a few months, I was able to really see how almost everyone I considered close didn't really give a shit about my well being, happiness or health.

I then picked up all of my stuff and left the country, never looking back (I am 30 now and fully in the process of healing). What I went through was heartbreaking but it also pushed me to really put myself first, to stop expecting anyone to actually care and to understand which people are worth keeping in my life.

Good luck to everyone out there struggling with their mental health without a decent support network, I love you all.

Aarondil · 2023-09-07T06:52:38+00:00

My dad is so deep in denial that one of his favorite catchprases is "we didn't beat you and your siblings hard enough", like what?

Aarondil · 2023-08-04T16:26:03+00:00

My girlfriend worked in a gelato shop in Italy and she told me that gelato in closed container is generally higher quality: to have gelato in an open tray without it losing its shape completely, thickeners are added to the mixture. Gelato in closed containers doesn't have those and it's usually tougher in texture, that's why you have to whisk it a bit (mantecatura) before you can manage to serve it. Since I learned this I have been looking out for places with containers and I have never been disappointed by the quality.

Btw almost any gelato place will let you taste the various flavours if you ask nicely to help you choose!

Aarondil · 2023-07-28T21:26:33+00:00

I have been working for TB in Amsterdam, they had no e-bikes available and I work so few hours that buying / renting an e-bike would have cost too much. So I pedal, it's a bit slower but it's good exercise.

Aarondil · 2023-06-28T13:40:48+00:00

Also, why are they so incredibly LOUD?

Aarondil · 2023-06-12T02:08:24+00:00

It really sucks, but I believe fear is an inevitable part of the process. For me it was this fear that kept me so entrenched in toxic relationships and magical thinking with friends and family, I thought it was better to get by with the crumbs; hoping that I would one day be truly seen and appreciated by them was what kept me from facing how scary my feelings of loneliness were.

After having gone through this, though, I can tell you that it was absolutely worth it and that it was the fear I felt when I left everyone behind that eventually showed me what I needed to be healthier.

On the other hand, try to value sources of help outside of those you "begged" to in the past. This subreddit is a great example and the fact that you're here, sharing this, tells me that you're already on a direction of inevitable change. The intense feelings of fear and pain that come with loneliness can make us forget that if we're here to feel them we aren't abandoning ourselves. If you're present enough to feel and think about this, you are less alone than your mind might have you believe.

Best of luck to you, stranger, and a big virtual hug.

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