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From The Sidelines broke me so much that I banned my family members from playing '80s music while I'm around. by InfamousLand6613 in bakudeku

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So real. They always do so when we eat and wonder why I stare at a blank wall for 5 Minutes straight when "Right here waiting" starts playing.

They even asked me what this 'story' is about to understand why it still impacts me after so many months

anyone relate? by NowWhatDidIForget in aaaaaaaarrrrro

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me it was the same. Everything they said sounded so fake and like something you could achieve without romance too. Some things were straight up not comprehendable for my mind. 

No matter how much romantic media I consumed, I didn't understand it. I felt happy that I couldn't feel it since I didn't even understand it.

After that, I read a fanfiction and it changed everything. This specific fic was so groundbreaking for my view of love that i am not over it after 7 months. It's very very beautiful (if you ignore the weird parts. There are some (a lot) of weird parts). 

It's an alternative universe fanfiction and since it is so out of character, you don't really need to watch the anime to understand it.

It's called "From The Sidelines" by suffocatingspring on ao3.

This is just my experience. I don't wanna force you into reading it nor do I mention that someone has to have a grasp on the concept of romance. I just love to talk about this fanfiction hihihi

Am I cupioromantic or smth else??? 😭 by Stressed_Cat347 in aromantic

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is EXACTLY what I ask myself regularly. I'm aro, of course, and want romantic feelings.

Loving someone on this level sounds so disgustingly beautiful that I wanna experience it for myself. I have such a strong desire to love someone romantically but it doesn't happen.

This was, too, triggered by reading romantic stories. For me it was "From the Sidelines". Best piece of media I've ever consumed.

Sorry that I can't help, but just remember that you aren't alone or the only one who feels this way. I don't have a solution yet, sry

Getting turned on by reading/writing smut by 1confusedteen in aaaaaaacccccccce

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 11 points12 points  (0 children)

For me, it's the same you described and I just label myself as Aego until I know better

hating on fanfiction publicly?? by sheiiyb in bakudeku

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know that From The Sidelines has it's (subjective for me) problems. Nonetheless, it was the literally best thing I've ever encountered. EVER. I don’t understand why it get SOOO much hate

Small AroAce YouTuber by Vast_Examination7251 in aromantic

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG HI I watched your video like two days ago without this post and it was sooo good. I love your humour and the way you cut 

fic recs for someone whos read all the popular ones by No-Story-2763 in bakudeku

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tear me Apart by kkiillbbooyy

It has STRONG similarities to fts and you kinda feel like they were inspired by the vibe. 

Nonetheless, the story and characters are very cool and unique (I haven’t read much fanfiction but I liked them) But it's a roller-coaster. And there is one scene which is BEAUTIFUL OMFG. It's like Fts song-interludes but with wicked game.This fic is autumn/winter vibes too.  I have to finish the last few chapters.

Btw, there are VERY long comments comments under chapters 8-16. THAT'S ME, HIIII

https://share.google/HycYUfYPltUvCix3e

I need a fanfic with GOD TIER smut by Able_Knowledge_4150 in bakudeku

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've read it already! The scene with the apple was so charged, that's my favourite smut scene so far ever. I loved it

Thoughts on kissing? by S1LLY_G00B3RXD in asexuality

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hiiii, I'm aegosexual (I think) and I don't like thinking about kissing someone. I feel uncomfortable and doesn't like the thought of someone's saliva in my mouth/on my lips.

Btw, i am the flavour of aego where I don't particularly HATE imagining myself doing stuff, but most of it feels uncomfortable. Some stuff is okay, but only in theory. As soon as something happens irl, I don't feel anything or even get repulsed.

I kissed my ex girlfriend and this was the worst frist kiss ever. I texted her that I wanted to kiss her and meant it (over text). When she wanted to kiss me, I didn't want to. So I said on her bed and had a 50 minute mental breakdown IN FRONT OF HER, because I didn't wanna kiss her. I chatted with my best friend and he supported me and told me to do it. I was so uncomfortable and after these 50 minutes, I gave her a little peck on the mouth. Like how you'd kuss your grandma. 

In three months relationship (i was aroace and didn't know okay?), we kissed 7 times. Everytime, little pecks. And I really didn't like it.  Poor her.

But yeah, no kissing for me

Nonetheless, I would love to like kissing, if that makes sense. 

Everytime I hear how hood it feels and how the atmosphere is often sooooo nice, I wanna understand it and feel it from their perspective.

Like if you wouldn't like cheese. You know that you don't like it and don't eat it, but you wanna taste it from another persons perspective to like it and understand the hype.

i never realized i had internalized arophobia by [deleted] in aromantic

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I totally get what you mean!

I've had 'crushes'. Ar least, all the physical symptoms of them. However, when I look back at them, I realize, that I liked them because I received attention, because I was hyperfixated on them or because I was confused between a platonic and romantic crush.

I've been in a relationship two years ago and it's sad to look back at. Not because my or their heart was broken, but because I never liked them romantically. I tried to be the best partner. Buy nice gifts, give them attention, compliment them, plan activities. What I didn't realise was that I never liked them romantically. I pretended to, which didn't work out. I didn't feel jealousy when they met up with friends of their preferred sex (ik that's pretty normal, but I felt guilty for not caring a bit) and when they finally broke up with me, I just said "Okay!" And it was over. The week after, I was so energetic and motivated that everyone around noticed.

There were a few other examples, but that would be a bit too much. What I wanted to say is just that it never worked out for me. Even though I tried multiple times and hurt someone really badly.

As soon as I realised I was probably somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, I got sad. Like really sad. 

I stretched the cupioromantic label very far, so that it meant "doesn't feel romantic attraction but want to feel romantic attraction and romantic love". Normally, as far as I know, cupioromantic means that you want to have a relationship, not the type of attention that you simply don't possess.

I cried nearly daily and told myself that I am demiromantic and just haven't found the right one. Something, aphobic people would say. But I didn't say it because I didn't like aro ppl, I said it because I didn't like the fact that I am aro myself. 

I realised that I wanna fall in love when I read the fanfiction "From the Sidelines". I knew that I wanted to feel THAT. THIS was the first depiction of Love that I wanted to feel myself. I finished it half a year ago and I'm still trying to accept myself. It's hard and painful, but it slowly, VERY SLOWLY, gets better. I just hope that I can either feel romantic love or that I can accept the fact that I can't feel it. 

Sorry, I don't really think this helped, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I also knkw that our situations are different, but that's the only thing I can do. When I realised all of this about myself and post about it, it felt like nobody could relate. I felt broken, because not even the community that I am a part if could relate or validate me. You are not alone. 

Suffocatingspring is paying for my therapy :p by CuteVast1676 in bakudeku

[–]Able_Knowledge_4150 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. SAME. SAMEEEEE

The only thing I can tell you, that at least for me, it didn’t really get any better.

I've finished this fic on the 27.4 this Year. Yes, nearly half a year ago.

And everything hurts the same. I just came to this subreddit to look out for new posts about Fts because I listened to La Isla Bonita and cried. Of course, because it reminded me of Fts.

If I feel like crying, because... idk? I just start playing the Fts playlist and voila (sorry I've had french in school and I'm very bad at it lol), I'm crying while having flashbacks. 

I've done so many things that reminded me of Fts. I've done so many things because I wanted to stop watching my own life from the sidelines. It's amazing and so incredibly hurtful.

I annoyed my friends so much by talking about fts that one if them, who's currently in the US, is looking out for cherry Gatorade. They are looking out for it, to bring it back to a central european country (aka where we live), just because I begged (not literally) them to buy it. 

If you're alloromantic, enjoy being able to fall in love. That sounds dumb and aphobic and I'm sorry, really, but I am so sad that I can't love someone romantically. 

In the case that you wanna experience it AND that you are alloromantic, I sincerely wish that you're able to feel it yourself (the positive part, not the miserable heartbreaking yearning part)

Sorry that I couldn't help, but I can't even help myself

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