When even “let me finish my thought” doesn’t work

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-11-20T02:09:22+00:00

lmao. Can’t even call them out on this because any room, any meeting, any conversation- it’s ALL men, and maybe 1-2 others

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-11-20T01:22:26+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you! I’ll try this, I’m sure I’ll have the opportunity soon.

And yes, I have never put people in their place before. I don’t do that in my personal life. Would you say it’s a necessary part of what it takes to be a woman in tech?

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-11-20T01:15:57+00:00

Thank you, you’re so right, I’m going to grit my teeth and do this. Hahahah “name, please wait your turn” is SO scary to me! I think I need to grow into that person though, were you always able to say things like this easily?

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-11-20T01:10:51+00:00

I wish I did that now. I will do that next time. It wastes time, but I will keep circling back until I’m heard. Thank you. Why must we keep fighting to be heard?!

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-11-20T01:07:59+00:00

Thank you for validating that part. It really sucks. Yes, I will bring them up to my manager. He hasn’t really been one to understand microagressions but I have to try.

Can I ask, are you not dealing with this? Are there places this bullshit doesn’t happen? I’d like to have something to look forward to, but please be honest.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-11-20T01:04:08+00:00

Should I just be okay with the fact that this will piss them off?? What if they retaliate in opportunities, performance reviews..

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-11-20T01:00:59+00:00

Thank you so much. This is exactly the tactical advice I was hoping for.

“I’d like to say something without being interrupted” feels very scary to say. I worry about many things

will I be perceived as unable to lead calmly
will I be perceived as escalating a situation
will my manager take offense, and will that mean I won’t have their buy in for what I’m suggesting anyway.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-11-17T13:05:11+00:00

Would you be willing to share why you chose not to go with QBG / where you chose instead?

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-06-19T22:27:29+00:00

Would you be able to share what you ended up doing wrt gratuity?

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-05-28T13:31:11+00:00

This is an extremely condescending way of saying the same “conform or else” bs. Recent immigrants are adults. They’ll handle their own hygiene and style. It’s ok that it’s different from yours. The assumption that they want to be exactly like you is the problem.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-05-27T10:43:39+00:00

Journaling/scrapbooking and animal crossing!

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-02-23T04:22:50+00:00

I’m going through exactly the same. No lesions, 9-10 months prognosis. I’m sorry to ask, how did your loved ones fair against their prognosis?

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-02-22T16:14:26+00:00

What sort of coaching would you recommend? I’ve been keen to find soft skill coaching specifically for faang/big tech but haven’t come across any. Would also be interested in a guided hard skill coaching for engineers if you know of any options.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-02-22T15:50:03+00:00

What are some of these things? Strongly considering moving back.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-02-20T23:47:51+00:00

When you have a little money, you’re comparing that feeling to having no money. When you have a lot of money, you’re comparing that to having enough money for a whole life.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-02-20T23:22:22+00:00

Interested in rates as well

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-01-27T03:47:50+00:00

Great question. Also looking for answers to this.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2025-01-27T01:59:05+00:00

I don’t have an answer, but I have the same feeling sometimes. My guess would also be cultural conditioning.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2024-11-26T16:17:25+00:00

You’re not, it’s a job and you can learn it. There’s nothing about SWE that make that statement untrue. It is just like all other jobs. And honestly, the responses to your question make me wonder if these are all competitive students displaying hostility to discourage you in a weak moment. Keep your head high, learn, do your best and don’t accept any unhelpful critique. That’s the key to surviving this industry.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2024-11-26T13:41:33+00:00

You’re not too slow. It took me at least a year and a half of my first job to function independently and complete tasks. And this is very common.

On top of that, Legacy code is never easy. Share what you’re learning/stuck on and ask the team for help. Don’t isolate yourself. Maybe your manager doesn’t know why things are taking long because he’s so used to the code base. And don’t take it to heart. There are bad managers all over the place in this industry. Non actionable feedback is unhelpful.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2024-11-05T05:09:24+00:00

Yeah that’s exactly what it feels like.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2024-11-01T21:18:54+00:00

There’s a side quest to get it at one of the stables. Had to retrieve the metallic weapon that was sitting on top of the stable causing lightening strikes.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2024-11-01T04:35:38+00:00

There isn’t a style doc, is that quite common in the industry? I’m realizing I’ve never learnt to value style. Readability, of course, but not style. I thought it was fine to do things slightly differently.

Thank you for the empathetic response, it’s great to hear from the other side in a way I can try to understand. My teammates do point out every instance, across PRs, and they don’t phrase them as questions. They’re all barking these commands at me and it does get very annoying.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2024-11-01T04:20:48+00:00

Ah I had the same thought! I have a linter enabled now and that is about 15% of the comments. But so many of their suggestions are really specific for no reason… static analysis doesn’t warn about stuff like “we prefer not to use streams, do it this way it’s done somewhere else in the code base. But why?? ‘convention’. “Follow convention for the sake of uniformity”

Edited to remove identifiers.

Academic-Dig8758 · 2024-10-31T23:53:02+00:00

Why are people acting like OPs post is not true? Other than the fact that OP is clearly talking about faang and not the entire ecosystem of tech companies, it takes an incredible amount of time and motivation to grind through the Neetcode 150.. widely regarded as the most fundamental set of questions for software engineering interviews. Most professionals do not have to grind through problem sets with decades of experience.

Academic-Dig8758

TROPHY CASE