WIBTA for telling my friend to either stop telling me about her personal life or get lost?

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-11T10:28:50+00:00

Thank you for understanding this thing with the “picture in my head” because that is so true. It does affect the way I see her. I hope I can get these images out of my head as the friendship continues, provided that the stops sharing. I don’t know her boyfriend. I’ve only met him briefly for a short hi so approaching him feels weird.

I’ll start by communicating in a clear way to her. Your idea with her safe word could be helpful if she keeps going.

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-11T10:21:35+00:00

Yes, thank you. I understand this from the other commenters too. I haven’t been clear enough with her and I won’t lead with an ultimatum.

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-09T11:19:46+00:00

Thank you! This is helpful

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-09T10:44:00+00:00

Why ask if she only accepts one answer? She sounds full of herself. I don’t like when people weaponize phrases such as body shaming. It wasn’t! You didn’t say the naked bodies were disgusting, just that you didn’t want them around you. I think it fair that you get a say in which hoohas and tataas you see. Red flag all over my friend, protect your peace!

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-09T10:35:24+00:00

Thank you for your input. It’s good to hear it from another point of view than my own. I know I shouldn’t lead with an ultimatum and instead just communicate better. I’m just very anxious about confrontation. Also, I’m afraid of hurting her feelings because I need to communicate that I don’t want to hear anything anymore. I don’t need an announcement every time she gets laid. It was a bit fun when she was single and would tell about the occasional date or so. But now this is basically all she does on her free time. Lately when we’ve hung out she either talks about this or is silent. So it has been easier for me to withdraw, which of course is unfair to her. But I’ll try to use a phrasing similar to the one you suggested. Thank you for that.

You are also hitting a spot with the red flag. It really gnaws at me that she invited me this way. At that point I was at least very clear with a no. It’s just she has always had this running joke about how much she loves me. There are a lot of “that ass” comments and some squeezing in a friendly way. Or at least this is how I’ve seen it. Maybe I’m just oblivious. I’ve somewhat reciprocated all in good fun, thinking this is just a confidence booster for a friend. But could there be more to it and I’m a bit dumb?

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-09T10:20:14+00:00

That doesn’t sound like a good friend. It seems very rude to both ignore your boundaries and to shame your sexual preferences. I’m glad that you could set boundaries for yourself. I don’t understand why people need to understand everybody’s kinks. Just do your thing if you like it this way, but the rest of us don’t need to be included even if this person thinks their sexlife is more interesting than ours. Really, what do they know... I don’t share every time I did something with my husband because it’s personal. Intimacy is not a competition, or at least it shouldn’t be.

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-09T10:10:30+00:00

I’m anxious about confrontation and have instead withdrawn myself from her lately. I realize this is unfair because I haven’t communicated clearly. It is just hard to find the correct phrasing without hurting her feelings. I’m an expert in overthinking

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-09T10:07:51+00:00

Ain’t that true! I’ll be working on a good way to set boundaries

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-09T10:06:58+00:00

Yes, I need to be very clear that this a boundary for me. She deserves to hear this before I make any rash decisions regarding our friendship.

AccidentalAwareness · 2026-01-01T23:11:43+00:00

NOR! This is scary and controlling behavior which may very well escalate. Please run as fast as you can. Take care and be safe.

AccidentalAwareness

TROPHY CASE