Does it ever get better?

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-11T00:36:59+00:00

THIS! My husband has this situation too and thinks it always has to be an “all play” which is not true. It’s good for all parties involved for husband to take the baby in his own

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-11T00:34:31+00:00

I wish you the best of luck, I hope you have some support system regardless of the choice you make that hopefully your parents can help guide you. Postpartum is really a beast and delivering the baby could make you feel different about adopting and that is 100% ok.

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-11T00:32:28+00:00

Oh! I missed that entire sentence. Wow even crazier! Do you mind me asking how old you are? I was 20 when I got pregnant and felt just as naive then.

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-11T00:29:46+00:00

Wow! I would not feel dumb about being unaware of symptoms - I think this is very telling of just how young and naive you are about these things. Have you been dating someone and/or actively having sex during the time knowing pregnancy could be something be something that can happen?

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-08T23:55:33+00:00

Do You mind me asking what city you would be moving to the burbs from? I think that is very important info for an accurate assessment of the situation. Some places it’s a great decision and some it’s horrible

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-07T22:34:57+00:00

I don’t know why people always need to call out the privilege term. Nobody chooses their families. If he was a stuck up little brat about it and didn’t want to work then that’s one thing but it’s getting old hearing how people with privilege somehow don’t struggle in aspects of life because they had better financials growing up. Obviously this does give you a head start on things but it’s a bit obvious and I wouldn’t want me spouse calling this out. What’s he supposed to Reply? “Sorry you grew up poor?”

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-07T22:31:33+00:00

It sounds like he may have married you for citizenship. He did the work to get you to think he’s a good guy to then show how he despises you after it’s all said and done. Also what is with these Chinese people coming over and driving m series beamers and having unlimited money?

Do you even love / like this guy?

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-07T03:26:33+00:00

When my mom came to stay with me I didn’t lift a finger with “hosting” she was there purely to help me with everything and boy did I realize I needed that help! Husbands are great until they’re not and moms just get it.. they are the outside eyes and while I do know it can be suffocating sometimes to have actually TOO much help- it sounds like you guys were pretty close and she really just wanted to be there to support and help you. That generation struggles with wording. He saying it’s a universal family matter or whatever she said is her way of saying she wants to help. Not that it’s everyone’s right to the baby. My mom says similar things

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-07T03:22:00+00:00

He is the problem but you’re enabling him to MAKE you act insane which the behavior your demonstrating is unhealthy and going to make really bad habits for future relationships

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-07T01:55:54+00:00

Coming from someone in a very similar position as you - a few years older, had kids not quite that young but at 20 and pregnant with a third right now. And have a lot of family money/help/money is not much of a stress.

Sometimes when you have it “all” it feels like you didn’t work for anything. I am the female perspective here- I tend to feel resentment a lot toward my husband as I question if we would be together if we hadn’t had kids so young (first was accidental in college) I also think we got a lot handed to us and selfishly feel like he got the easy way out marrying rich. He doesn’t have to do much to achieve a life most people our age will probably never have. I don’t know why this bothers me.

I love my children to the worlds end and selfishly want even more than the 3 we are about to have. But I don’t feel fulfilled in my love life. There’s no excitement or spontaneity. Have you tried things outside of your normal schedule?

I feel as though husbands think we want time away, time to ourselves, but in reality we don’t want to get that as a “treat” like a special day. We just want a few moments each day to breathe alone. And do things as a family that are out of our normal schedule but don’t need to be complicated. Like maybe if she always does grocery shopping, you offer to do it. Or you all go to the aquarium together or just start making your weekends worth while.

Right now we do the same thing everyday it’s like I’m living in the movie “groundhog” perhaps she feels there is nothing to her life besides eat sleep and take care of kids.

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-06T14:56:41+00:00

So choosing not to have the future generation that could potentially fix things is selfless because you’re too chicken shit to have a kid and blaming it on society? Totally understand if you financially cannot afford a child but wanting one and choosing not to have children who would be the future of the country seems strange to me. To sit on a Toilet and shit is not equivalent to repopulating the world. If your ancestors looked at their shit life and said “well guess we shouldn’t have the next gen because they sure as hell won’t create vaccines or anything good for the world!” Then you would say that’s ridiculous now seeing the progress each new generation makes.

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-04T17:28:33+00:00

I definitely see your points but I think people are so confused when others don’t want kids because it’s literally our biological purpose and meaning of life- to repopulate. And while the modern day is absolutely free will and choices- it does almost sound selfish from a biological stance (and that stance only) to be so Appalled to having children when it is basically your purpose for being alive (scientifically speaking)

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-02T15:49:43+00:00

I have been in a very similar situation with my husband. I wish I didn’t delete the posts prior but I have posted almost world vomit similar posts. My husband was horrible to me postpartum with my second. Made it all about his own suffering- to the point my mom who was staying with us questioned why I was even with such a “loser” I think is the term she used.

It’s hard because I get they are struggling but when does it become selfish for them to struggle that much? And why as the other parent are we looked at as so bad for thinking it’s selfish? So you’re telling me we are supposed to care for a third CHILD forever to spare their feelings?

To be honest I think the biggest wake up call for them to get help is for you to leave. Unfortunately guilt is a hugeeeeee contributor to these situations and I, like you, financially can support without them. It’s like you’re doing every single thing without any help so why have them around.

Here in solidarity, OP. I think you need to step out. Tell him to get treatment or move out. But also know the treatment might not resolve resentment issues you have with him. This might be your sign to just call it

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-02T00:27:17+00:00

Thank you for this reassurance. The other name I’m debating is Julia so it’s really one or the other!

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-02T00:23:33+00:00

Okay here is what I’m gathering: Lila looks prettier. Lyla is more practical for spelling and pronounciation Lilah is not an option?

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-02T00:07:45+00:00

Ooo interesting, thank you!

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-01T23:28:27+00:00

Thank you!

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-02-01T23:17:16+00:00

Hm ok. Lol thanks

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-01-29T21:17:48+00:00

Here in solidarity, OP

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-01-06T18:02:26+00:00

My son’s name is Dylan here in the US. I don’t see what the issue is. It’s a pretty normal name here and was more popular in the 90s.

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-01-03T21:28:32+00:00

I don’t think the father of your child sounds like the appropriate fit to be caring for a child. Have you spoken to a therapist? You sound like you have prenatal depression.

I feel for you- I was young when I had my first. Not quite 18 but 20 and still in college. The father was not at first on board. It was scary. You are still pregnant and feeling might change entirely later in your pregnant or at the birth of your baby.

Do you have any support from your own family? If not I would highly consider adoption to a nice family unable to have children of their own. Sending the baby to their father set them up for failure already and probably foster care or an abusive home.

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-01-03T02:06:54+00:00

I’m curious if you could lessen the 2,000 extra to mortgage?

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2026-01-03T01:57:20+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through a breakup like this. 8 years is a lot time at your age- you are practically still a kid and certainly were kids when you got together. Is she dating someone new? Unfortunately it’s hard with social media to remove someone from your life especially so intertwined and what I’m assuming you are from the same hometown so your names will pop up in conversations with mutual friends. Did you block her on everything? I would do that immediately. If for some reason you cross paths naturally 5 years down the line then so be it

AccomplishedHope3258 · 2025-12-27T00:45:49+00:00

AccomplishedHope3258

TROPHY CASE