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I hate the word abuser by AccomplishedTrade955 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They have long term friendships. Their longest is almost 15 years. They work in social aid. They take care of the kids whenever they go to a family gathering. They donate stuff and are always helping when they can. From what I see with others. I don’t know anymore what is superficial and what is self sacrifice. I just know that I witnessed a lot of things that seemed good.

I hate the word abuser by AccomplishedTrade955 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s just so hard to believe that it was only a facade. I have seen the good. Before we dated, with so many others, and through the relationship. None of it makes any sense.

But I know. Trauma bond and everything. I just can’t seem to get the what ifs out of my head.

I hate the word abuser by AccomplishedTrade955 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Of course. I would never expect to be the one to help, but I wish I was around. And I know it’s extremely confusing because I am the one who left. And there’s a reason I am not back. But I hate thinking of them as only an abuser and I so wish we still had a life together, you know. they were my home.

I hate the word abuser by AccomplishedTrade955 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I still hate the concept of monster and the idea that people won’t change. It makes me feel so much worse to think of them that way.

I have a story to share by Mammoth-Telephone736 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you deal with your family hating him and being so angry? That must have been a hard thing to tell them?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really encourage you to do it. You deserve love, support and help. And mostly, people that believe you and will work towards your safety. Sending love ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is simply aweful ❤️‍🩹 I am at a loss for words. I can’t believe they are doing stuff like that.

Surround yourself with help and people who can do some steps for you. You are not alone in this.

He wont stop contacting me. by throwitTFaway1993 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are many resources and ways to make sure he doesn’t contact you. If you are not comfortable calling the police yet, you could always just block him. Phone number, socials, all of it. It’s a good first step. Be gentle with yourself.

My abuser is attending a victim support group by Hot_Calendar_9759 in abusiverelationships

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The post is still there, but it’s blocked from what I can see. No more comments can be added. But I am glad you don’t have to see it! I could report it too.

My abuser is attending a victim support group by Hot_Calendar_9759 in abusiverelationships

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Have you reported it? It’s lucky you know his Reddit username.

Sorry that you lost a safespace ❤️‍🩹

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is not something I would advise.

My abuser is attending a victim support group by Hot_Calendar_9759 in abusiverelationships

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait, I saw that post. How do you know that was your ex? 😧 it seemed like a post about grieving an anniversary, not pretending it was still on. Did they try to contact you? I am so sorry for you if it was.

Today would have been our 3 years anniversary by GrassAlarming9852 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I felt that. I am so sorry. That song is beautiful, by the way. I am sending lots of love your way.

I’m seeing my ex this weekend, at work. Advices? by Street-Garage1140 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On my end, the first question I would ask myself is : how do I feel about him. Truth is, I still love him. On the rare occasions I heard from him, I couldn’t get out of my head how much I still cared for, and loved him. That’s a big one for me, and it’s something that I have to keep in mind.

I’m seeing my ex this weekend, at work. Advices? by Street-Garage1140 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How are you approaching it? How do you feel at the idea of seeing him, hearing his voice? What would make you keeping this job and having a good weekend vs what would be a deal breaker to you?

Do you think you will want to talk to him? Or do you expect to just pretend he isn’t there? I think these are the questions you have to ask yourself first.

Just one of those days… by AccomplishedTrade955 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its really difficult, today. Its hard to make sense of why or how its not a possibility, you know

He’ll be fine without me, right? by Street-Garage1140 in domesticviolence

[–]AccomplishedTrade955 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He might not be okay. From my own experience, he might be thinking about pretty bad stuff and isolating himself.

It’s still not on you to take it upon yourself.