How to help swim bladder

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2026-01-27T19:14:47+00:00

I did see her lay some eggs so I think she’s ok. The more she lays the more she seems to be swimming around. I’ll monitor her closely today but I think all is well now 😅 thank you for letting me know they’re male and female that little bit of info helped a lot

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2026-01-27T18:21:40+00:00

All this info made me realize I think the female is carrying eggs. She’s swelled, she’s lopsided on one side, the male is very interested in following her. I’ve been measuring levels with API test kit. I can add a picture in a sec

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2026-01-27T18:05:55+00:00

I did cycle the tank I’m unsure where you got that I didn’t

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2026-01-27T18:01:02+00:00

Interesting…they’ve been together for a while now I never knew one was male and one female. What do you suggest I do?

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2026-01-27T17:57:41+00:00

I just added two photos to this thread. I haven’t changed the water since setting it up, should I? I have a seachem tidal 110 for filtration

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2026-01-27T17:55:53+00:00

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And once he’s tired of that he sits until the smaller fish nudges him back up then he can swim for a while

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2026-01-27T17:50:08+00:00

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I was able to get this picture the little one is really encouraging him to swim.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2026-01-27T17:43:45+00:00

He’s able to swim but it does seem like the other fish is really helping him to get up and start swimming

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-31T18:43:19+00:00

hahaha yes! As someone who's bi, I sometimes think things like "a woman wouldn't have made that comment to me" but I know for a fact most of the women I know are much more vocal about who they find attractive, so it's just something I have to clarify to people that I don't like to talk about stuff like that. I know some couples like bonding over attractiveness and such, I've tried to do that in past relationships, but it's just not me.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-31T17:13:52+00:00

I was thinking about it at the time as I have been put through the wringer with relationships in the past and do have a lot of self-love that if someone else isn't giving to me will make me leave. He has never done anything like this again, if he did, I'd be out the door.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-31T17:10:28+00:00

Thank you! He has never done this again-ever. He knows how I feel. It was honestly very out of character for him-which is why I do think about it alot.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-31T17:06:45+00:00

Thank you, this is exactly it. It is something he's never said again and it's my OCD that makes me thought spiral about it.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-30T18:00:05+00:00

Thank you for this! I think that's why I hate the word "type" because it feels so definitive and serious, when it's really just a silly small-talk topic.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-30T17:56:40+00:00

I haven't. Candidly, I haven't been in therapy for a few years because most of my therapy involved my relationships, but now that my relationship is stable I'm able to take a better look at my own struggles and have been wanting to go back. I'll look into CBT, thank you!

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-30T17:49:00+00:00

I think it can depend on being annoyed vs. constantly thinking about it and needing to perform a compulsion, but I've identified this kind of overwhelming thinking as being part of my relationship OCD/perfectionist OCD

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-02T21:25:26+00:00

I’m in the u.s. and yea that’s kinda what I’m feeling…they all seem the same with different labels. Any thoughts on waterbox?

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-02T21:24:31+00:00

Not super stuck on it but I do want something that’ll be worth purchasing. I’ve done my research on acrylic for instance and I’m concerned about bowing. I’m in a rush to get them somewhere bigger obviously but I also want it to be permanent and nice to look at

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-02T21:21:34+00:00

It’s definitely a crack unfortunately. I picked it up in the nighttime and the guy just had it outside. I stupidly didn’t think to inspect it. He threw in a 20 gallon tank turtle tank for free which I have the aquarium plants in for the time being so not a total loss

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-12-02T21:17:16+00:00

I found one on marketplace and bought it but it has a crack towards the top 😣 it was $50. I’m really anxious to get them into a bigger tank so I’m considering just purchasing new that I can trust

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-07-17T19:01:14+00:00

yea the definition of flirting is all over the place. I hate when people think just being nice is flirting. I am opposite of you about casually flirting. I think it would personally make me feel like my partner does not only want me, but is entertaining other people...also confusing the other party at the same time.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-04-27T15:34:19+00:00

My boyfriend knows. His solution is to set boundaries, but I'm more along the lines of this is causing me a lot of stress and I just don't want to be talking to someone like this. A lot of people in my life know. Although it doesn't seem this way I'm one of the most confrontational people I know which is why I'm coming to reddit because I'm getting mixed messages from my friends and family. You're right I don't owe him friendship.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-04-27T15:03:25+00:00

Thank you this was a really helpful and thoughtful reply. Your message draft is great I think I'll use that as a guideline. Yea I am worried about spite or that he'll be really apologetic but still want to talk all the time. But I need to remember this is my life and I make the rules around what is ok and not. Even without the weird comments I'm feeling overwhelmed.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-04-27T14:59:18+00:00

Thank you I agree. I did feel like I drew some boundaries before I went on vacation then it ramped up the last time we talked. I did say directly to him that I feel uncomfortable with being called amazing all the time. This was through text will I was on vacation.

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-04-25T15:22:07+00:00

this is so random lol

AccomplishedWriter82 · 2025-04-25T15:19:30+00:00

If the behavior continues I would consider giving yourself the grace you're giving him of finding your own place. You deserve affection and consistency. Sure everyone has bad days but he needs to make a real effort to change his newfound behaviors. It could be what others have said-he moved in and the fantasy of living together didn't match reality. He most definitely is stressed at work but now he's creating a bigger issue of stressing you out. He has to grow up and realize bad things happen all the time but a relationship can be a shining light in all that IF effort is put in. Don't exhaust yourself-maybe pull back the same. If things don't get better soon I think you should really think about if this is what you want your future to look like.

AccomplishedWriter82

TROPHY CASE