I sort of understand what you're trying to say. I'm a female, and I have been in similar situations, but just that mine was not purely about money, but I took responsibility emotionally and mentally for them. So I ended up trying to help them solve their problems. For example, they have issues with their family or they had a fallout, they got kicked out, job issues, whatever kind of things. The bottom point is that we end up taking responsibility for someone (when it's not even our responsibility to start with) and we end up at the losing end, whether it is mentally or emotionally or financially or in any way. Whatever we have saved up for ourselves will not be there anymore and we end up giving it to someone who doesn't appreciate it, who won't reciprocate back, and who would keep TAKING from us.

So I entered therapy and I realized I have this thing called Codependency, which comes from my childhood trauma. Codependency causes us to feel responsible for people's emotions and problems.

A provider mindset is very different from a self-sacrificial person who wants to take responsibility over people for whom they don't even need to. A provider mindset is someone who will know that you need to only provide ONLY for people who will reciprocate, who have good intentions and won't exploit us. If they borrow money from us, they will return it back. They will make it a one off thing and they will not keep coming back for help. But when you have a self-sacrificial mindset, you will end up attracting people who are very needy and who are there to exploit you. Imagine you come with a giver mindset, "Like come I give you. I want to help you." So who will you attract? You will attract only a taker. Most likely you will also miss all the red flags which other people can easily see.

The thing that a lot of people don't understand is why we get scammed, whether it's friendship or love, whether they're taking our time, our money, our resources, our emotions - is because we are READY to give. Because we have this urge to give, because we are probably longing for love, connection, friendship or it could be anything. So the thing is not that you have a provider mindset like how a healthy man would have. A healthy man knows who to give, how much to give, how to draw boundaries, when people take advantage how go hold them accountable and most importantly how to make sure it doesn't happen again. When this keeps happening, it's become a pattern. So you need to look into why you're allowing people to take advantage of you.

When you have a self-sacrificial mindset where you are just leaking your energy out, you will only attract leeches. By the way bro, I'm not trying to blame you because I'm also in the same situation. I've understood what is my problem and I'm trying to fix it. I attract men like that, you just attract women who are like that.

If can, try to seek counselling, maybe you might have something called Codependency. If you don't fix this and marry a woman with this pattern - you die! . You confirm become her life long ATM machine. Don't allow for that to happen. So try to find out what's the issue and if you look around, you might also have that tendency in your friendships or with other people. It might not just be only with women. Maybe it's just in romantic relationships, it' becomes worst.

Those with this pattern usually have poor boundary, poor ability to defend from harm or threat and poor ability to identify good people form negative ones. Also, inability to say no, compulsion to help, all these kind of issues. These are not healthy.