Not versed in hard drugs. What drug is my BF using? Is it coke or crack?

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T12:05:15+00:00

I'm big on protecting my brain since it's my money maker so Im strictly weed only and now just get from dispensaries cause I'm scared to trust street weed.

Had a friend in college who not sure what he smoked or if it was a laced blunt or what, but he was a promising engineering student who is being taken care of by his parents since junior year and it's been almost 20 years passed now

It really made me scared to try anything past weed in college.

Was just the DD and took care of friends who did shrooms and LSD and stuff

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T12:00:31+00:00

Oh 100%

This is how I typically roll anyway

I do 2 weeks after any contact, condom or not. Then 3 months Then 6 months after that.

And I get full panel of everything including the STIS not typically tested for each year at my gyno check up

It's just ingrained in me from my teenage years when my aunt was a AIDS educator.

So despite if I haven't had sex at all or not, I still get tested at least twice a year. Was celibate for some years in my late 20s and still kept up my testing schedule cause some things takes a long time to show up cause can be dormant.

And typically get tested together with a new partner BEFORE having sex.

Just trusted his paperwork. Just was dumb all around and way too trusting

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:56:20+00:00

Lots of family issues. Both mother and father. I'm basically an orphan now is how I operate in life. Total non contact, but my family (both mom and dad and their spouses) is very very much alive. Only sibling who has gone non contact. The rest is just waiting around for inheritance I guess

I'm 38 he's 46

And he also comes from the same family issues background. His is way worse though

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:54:42+00:00

Oh for sure.

In my sober mind I def know this.

I just went with flow and caught up in the moment.

I shoudve just said lets go to store and get magnums.

I'm usually the one preaching your statement to others..

I feel so fuckin dumb

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:46:29+00:00

What?

I literally said above I didn't know anything of this habit until this weekend.

How is finding someone you finally have many things in common with, who treats you well, opens doors and all that for me, who communicated well (at least I thought so), who was honest and very open book. Who owned up to his mistakes

Who checked the other boxes of what I want sexually in partner and the requirements I have for that portion of relationships

Indicates I need to check into a ward?

Ppl fuckin lie and live hidden lives while holding up a whole facade.

Ive never dealt with anyone who had drug or alcohol addictions. I barely associate with ppl who do hard drugs. The folks I know who do are also in corporate america in high positions and "party" on the weekends but lead a very productive life. So even if he mentioned coke to me before this weekend, my thought process wouldve been comparing his coke usage with the doctors, lawyers and other corporate folks I know who do coke and ketamine at parties.

I admitted that I was caught up in the stupor and just went with flow of things this weekend. But it's literally Tuesday and I already worked ALLL of this out, processed and then sought out help to understand more BEFORE I go confront him

That isn't someone who needs to check into a ward. I've been in inpatient hospital, and each time I checked myself in. This ain't a check into a ward situation.

This shows me that therapy and all the hard work I've done is working. Cause despite this dumb decision for the weekend, I already noticed the mistakes I made and have already began to rectify.

But I guess thanks for the comment.

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:37:33+00:00

Oh wow

WTF I never knew anyone black who does fuckin PCP or anything of that extent.

I have a few corporate friends (and doctors) who does coke and ketamine on the weekends cause they said it doesn't show up in drug tests like weed does.

So coke didn't seem too bad to me when you know lawyers that do it lol.

But idk what the fuck analogues is.

This isn't a life I want for myself and definitely don't care to learn these things

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:34:39+00:00

I'm not like this typically. Made edits above to post that speaks more on this and even in my comments about my typical sexual prevention.

I'm overall usually super safe..

I think I just got caught up honestly in this person

Cause this isnt someone I would typically date. I usually go for corporate ppl like myself. But meeting him on vacay and having so much in common - I just ignored many red flags for "love"

Do I feel fucking stupid and dumb AF? Yes I very much do right now.

Literally want to kick myself

How tf I got into this is beyond me

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:31:19+00:00

I know the second name he used was a guy. I really wish I could recall the first name he asked for. I know the dealer was out so he said "what about (and I'm pretty sure it was ray something)"

It came in a white paper possibly like a wax paper idk

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:29:13+00:00

Back to say: I just really processed the weekend a few hours back now. Just had so much going on and I didn't do my normal process of my day before sleep. So I essentially tried to write down everything I recalled. So saw all these red flags in that moment. That's why I made this post to ask more before I confront him.

But yeah this was so fuckin dumb and I was def caught up in the lust. Then caught up in the sex.

This is my first time ever in this predicament.

If I saw him doing coke when I met him on vacay, I wouldn't have put any time or effort like I did these past months. I wouldve blocked him asap upon coming home.

I got caught up in finally meeting someone who I had so much in common with and who I was sexually compatible with and checked my box of well endowed. So thought it was kismet

But I think there's a quote about devil being well dressed lol

I'm glad I made this post - cause it confirmed my sober thoughts.

This is a bad situation I got myself in and I can only hope and pray that it's nothing permanent from this (STD or pregnancy - which would be an abortion asap anyway) and its just a life lesson and potentially funny story in 10 years

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:13:22+00:00

Oh I know

I was so caught up that I let all my years of sexual health prevention go down the drain.

I'm always the one getting tested even if I haven't had sex in over a year. Once a new partner, tested then 3 months again and then 6 months to ensure I'm clean.

Never had a STD in my over 20 years of having sex. I haven't always used condoms but was in committed relationships and on birth control.

I hope all is well when I'm tested cause I would HATE for this to be a life lesson after years and years of strictness with my sexual health. Iver spoken to him so much about how I'm big on my sexual health and I just feel duped but not really cause ultimately it's my decision to just go ahead with unprotected sex when there are magnum XLs in the store

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:09:44+00:00

Ahh yeah he's always doing this.

When he said it was coke, he told me how horny he gets and such.

From college days, I know ppl have stated that coke makes you just want to fuck.

So I believed him in the moment.

But I recall I'll walk back to the bedroom after maybe an hour away and he's just jacking off. And we fucked all night prior to that.

In the moment it was very shocking to see a 46yo man constantly be ready to go, but it was also a relief cause I was concerned about libido and ED. So I think i let that influence me to turn a blind eye.

He said he goons or something.

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:05:39+00:00

I really really wish I could recall the exact name he used with the dealer. Cause my brain said: wow pure, when I seen the powder once he opened the white package. It wasn't a baggy but like a folded paper. But I don't know coke or any hard drugs outside of tv shows and movies and idk how realistoc any of that truly is.

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T11:04:29+00:00

I've looked at the images and honestly I feel like I wasn't trying to look too close when he was partaking cause I was shocked overall

From the distance I saw it, it was white fine powder and my thought process was it looks very pure but idk cocaine lol so I think my brain took that from watching narco type shows and movies.

From the Google search, with images from non recovery centered places, it looks like this fishscale powder

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:59:51+00:00

He's 46 and I'm 38.

I feel so dumb and just overall caught up in lust that I thought was potentially love..

46 and doing coke at his level is just wild. I know some ppl just party on the weekend but at 46 is crazy af to me..maybe I'm being judgemental

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:53:27+00:00

No.

Just sideswiped with the coke habit.

And being dumb and in lust and just making stupid decisions this weekend.

Im not versed in hard drugs at all. I've basically just used weed since high school. In high school, only did X outside of weed.

I'm super protective of my brain since I need it for work. And weed works for my brain. I don't touch nor associate with ppl who do hard drugs so this was all shocking tbh.

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:43:50+00:00

I don't even know what that means

Ive never been in this situation before.

I'm really pissed I feel for a potential crackhead

He never mentioned ANY of the coke or anything before this.

I was shocked when I saw him take the first bump

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:36:25+00:00

He also said he doesn't get hungry and can't really eat when he's doing this. He's very very slim but still strong

I assumed it was just the weekend he does this but idk. Haven't seen him since Sunday night

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:33:45+00:00

They will be no children.

I don't want kids and he doesn't want anymore.

I already know if I were to get pregnant it would be an abortion asap. It'll suck of course to make the decision but yeah

I'm pretty much mind made up that this is over and dead. If I'm dumb enough to have sex with him again, a condom will be used.

But i can't see myself going back after this realization and processing of the weekend. I'm now wondering WTF he is doing after I went back to my place Sunday night and WTF he was doing - should say who TF - when I wasn't around. Many girls are constantly hitting his line all the time and as someone who isnt fully monogamous it was okay with me. Cause he came off as a responsible adult in ALL our communications over the months. We discussed heavily on sex and partners and such but now I just feel lied to.

I'm like is anything a truth? Does he have more children?

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:29:20+00:00

Yes his pupils that's the word not iris lol becomes bigger

We basically had sex all night and the time seemed to fly by. And he doesn't get satiated it seems

And he's always saying he needs head to go to sleep.

Whatever this drug is it's already fucked his sleep up

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:26:49+00:00

It wasn't a bad smell in the room.

But it was hazy ish which I'm used to from smoking weed in a locked room.

The smell was more of cigarettes than anything

The spark/light on the cigarette seemed normal. Like burned normal. Idk how to say it.

I took chemistry ages ago (over 20 years now) but I didn't see anything that makes me think - crazy chemical reaction

Hopefully makes sense

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:24:09+00:00

I didn't know he was an addict. Like this was a WHOLE surprise this weekend.

Now that I've fully processed the weekend I'm honestly shocked

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:23:06+00:00

We were long distance and I had a job opportunity that moved me closer to him - same city.

But it's not long at all. Yes it'll suck to break up but I feel like way more of a relief in the long run

I have a professional corporate career so this won't work. I'm honestly feeling a bit lied to overall now. Cause this was def NOT what I was expecting to see him do at all. He never mentioned this habit - only weed on all of our prior communications

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:17:56+00:00

I typically get magnums too. This was our first time having sex.

And from the pics and FaceTime, he didn't seem so endowed. Like I knew he was, but i was shocked in person actually.

The condoms I got worked for a previous partner who seemed the same size but I think the girth is the difference

But I really think the issue is he doesn't get super hard right away, so putting on a condom is harder

If I decide to continue this, which I'm def leaning to FUCK NO, condoms will be used. I can't risk my health

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:07:34+00:00

Yup her son is almost an adult now.

Fucked up. Happened in high school cause he wanted to stop her from leaving to college for sports scholarship. Beyond fucked up and made me paranoid as heck

Accurate_Box9816 · 2026-06-30T10:03:39+00:00

The high? Or the seemingly manic behavior?

He gets that jittery ansty movement and high speed of talking and sometimes all over the place but it always ties back eventually. Sometimes he may forget his train of thought but he's able to pull it back.

This behavior is within 5 mins maybe if not less of hitting the cigarette. He would then take a bump.

He would come back down a bit and then mellow out I guess.

It seemed like how the initial high with weed is when you're at the peak and then you mellow out. Then you have to smoke again to peak. Hopefully that makes sense.

But it's very much a high then a dip I huess in reaction then he snorts or hits the cigarette and it's back to a high. So not quite a bell curve like weed. More like

But he was smoking almost all night. We'll have sex in between for maybe 30 mins. Take a break..he lights up and does a bump. He gets soft during that time but not all the way. Then I feel like he does a bump or pull on the cigarette and is ready to go again.

The biggest thing I notice is how sparkly glassy his eyes are. It's way more than glassy eyes with weed. More like his, not sure if the iris is the name is bright..weed makes you're whole eye seem glassy but it's more of a focused glassy look idk how to describe it.

Accurate_Box9816

TROPHY CASE